


Say Something

by Scrapmom2112



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Love, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 16:50:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 50,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3141704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrapmom2112/pseuds/Scrapmom2112
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine meet during their freshman year at NYADA and become fast friends. Could it lead to more? This fic is AU and does not follow any time line from the show. In this story, the two boys are the same age.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How it all Began

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Just want to set up the story for you. This is an AU fic. In my world, Kurt and Blaine did not meet in high school. They met their freshman year in New York. They are both attending NYADA, and become friends.
> 
> This story is loosely based on my relationship (if that's what you want to call it) with my first love. Now, my story ended very differently, but all the main elements that occurred were from my experience. That being said, I'm a sucker for a happy ending, even through all the angst. 
> 
> I'm combining the Prologue and the first chapter together because the Prologue is so small, but it's necessary in setting up the story.

Prologue

It's Been a Long Time Coming

Kurt walked out on the stage slowly, a sad but determined look on his face. He whispered to the pianist and made his way up to the mic. The band was taking a break, and Kurt knew this was his moment.

He'd been psyching himself up for the moment for months now. Who was he kidding, it had been years. How could he have let things get so bad? Oh, that's right, it was Blaine. It had always been Blaine.

Kurt couldn't take it anymore. The pining, the waiting, the hurting, the tears. But that all ended tonight. He had waited for the band to take five, because he wanted to make sure Blaine was there, in the audience, watching. Blaine was a creature of habit, so once on break, he would visit the bathroom then the bar.

Kurt waited until he saw Blaine head for the bar before taking the stage. He had never been so scared in all his life, but he also knew that he needed to do this for his own sanity.

Then Kurt began to sing.

 

Chapter 1

How it all Began

He met Blaine his freshman year and had fallen head over heals in love. Coming from a small town in Ohio, Kurt hadn't met many other gays, so living in New York and going to school at a NYADA, a fine arts college, was a shock. There were a lot of openly gay guys and girls alike, and he didn't feel like such an outcast.

Blaine was in his Tuesday/Thursday acting class. The curly black hair and hazel eyes caught Kurt's attention right away, along with many other guys and girls in the class, and Kurt almost fainted when Blaine sat down next to him and grinned.

"Is this seat taken?" Were the first words out of his mouth and Kurt was hooked. The two became fast friends and Kurt was able to curb his attraction, for the most part. He was honestly just happy to have found a friend to hang with. He missed his friends from New Directions, his old Glee club, and although he and Rachel lived together, they hardly saw each other with their schedules.

So, he began spending more and more time with Blaine, who, much to Kurt's excitement and dismay was a huge flirt. When they were alone, watching a movie or just being silly, Blaine was always touchy feely, and Kurt was not used to it. Not that he was complaining. No, he wasn't complaining at all. But, it did confuse him.

In his high school, he obviously didn't have opportunities to date. Sure, he'd had crushes before, but always on straight boys that he knew would never amount to anything.

And even though Blaine said he was gay, he still had no idea where he stood. As touchy as he was when they were alone, he was just the opposite when they were with friends. It was like Kurt had the plague. Sure, he'd talk to Kurt, sometimes, but other times he completely ignored him.

This went on for most of their freshman year, and Kurt convinced himself it was okay. He knew Blaine cared about him, so what if he treated him like a nobody when they were out with Blaine's friends. When Blaine came over and hung out with him and Rachel, he was his normal flirty self.

And he didn't always ignore him. There were days that Blaine would call him up early in the morning and kidnap him for the day, taking him to art exhibits and museums, and sometimes a Broadway show. One those days, even though they were out, Blaine would shower Kurt with attention and affection.

At times, Kurt felt like a flower. He was bright and happy when Blaine was around and being his normal self, but the second Blaine turned into 'the stranger' (which is what Kurt took to calling Blaine's second personality), he would wilt. Blaine would notice, and shower him with attention again, causing Kurt to blossom once again. It was a vicious cycle, and Kurt didn't know how much more of it he could take.

Of course, Kurt was so much in love with Blaine, that he continued to take it all, over and over again. And everyday Kurt hated himself a little more. He wanted to hate Blaine too, but he just couldn't. Deep down, he knew that Blaine had feelings for him. There were fleeting moments they would share, and Kurt would see something in Blaine's eyes, but a moment later, he could cover it up with some funny joke and the moment was gone.

He recalled one time in particular, when he and Blaine had been making sundaes in his kitchen. It was not anything unusual, as they both loved eating ice cream while watching Moulin Rouge. Kurt had bought a new jar of cherries, and Blaine was teasing him about being able to tie the stem in a knot.

Rachel had let it slip last time that Kurt could tie a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue, but they were conveniently out of cherries, so Blaine couldn't test Kurt. This time, however, he was begging Kurt to show him and Kurt refused. When Blaine threatened to tickle him, Kurt took a glob of whipped cream and wiped it on Blaine's nose.

Blaine stopped, looking up at Kurt through his lashes, and Kurt backed up, worried about what Blaine would do. Blaine took two quick steps forward, grabbing Kurt's hands and placing them above his head while almost pressing his body against Kurt's.

They both stood stock still, staring into each others eyes. Kurt could feel the heat from Blaine's body that was so, so close to his, and his wrists were on fire where Blaine still held them above his head. The intensity in Blaine's stare sent a warmth through Kurt's entire body, and his mind could only think, please, please kiss me.

Suddenly, as if being burnt, Blaine let go of Kurt's arms and stepped back, turning around. He stood still for a moment, but then picked up his spoon as if nothing had happened and went into the living room, leaving a confused and turned on Kurt in the kitchen.

As like most things that were confusing in their relationship, they never spoke about what happened that day. Unfortunately, it was moments like those, where Kurt knew he saw something in Blaine's eyes, that kept him coming back.

The end of their freshman year came, separating the two boys for the summer. They talked about getting together at various times, but Kurt secretly hoped they wouldn't. He realized, after spending one lazy Sunday re-reading his diaries from the past year, that he needed distance from Blaine and his confusing signals. So, Kurt decided he would take the summer and get over Blaine.

Yeah, that was easier said than done when the person you are trying to get over texts you everyday, and Skype's you at least once a week. And, to top it off, continues to call you at random intervals too, sometimes in the middle of the night. Those are the hardest, because he knows Blaine is drunk, and that's when he says things that give Kurt hope. Hope he doesn't need.

The first late night drunk call came a month into their summer break. It was 2:30am when Kurt's phone started playing Katy Perry's Firework. Blaine had programed it as his ringtone because, well, he was obsessed with Katy Perry.

Half asleep, Kurt mumbled a hello, wondering why Blaine would be calling him so late. He heard loud music in the background and was wondering if Blaine had accidentally butt dialed him until he heard sniffling.

"Blaine. Is that you? Are you there? I can't hear anything except music." He whisper yelled into the phone, not wanting to wake anyone up.

The music was quickly muffled, and it sounded like a door shut. "Kurt," Blaine said, his voice cracking. "I miss you." Was that another sniff. Was he crying? No way.

"Blaine, what are you talking about? We just Skyped yesterday, and you texted me this morning." Kurt had no idea what was happening, and he hated that feeling.

"I miss seeing you," came the quiet reply. "I just want to see you. Why can't I see you?"

"You saw me yesterday on Skype." Kurt said again, slowly this time, as if talking to a child.

"I know, but I couldn't touch you, or even smell you. You smell fantastic. Have I ever told you that? Well, you do. I love sitting close to you and just breathing in your scent. You have no idea how much I want to just pull you into my arms and bury my head in your shoulder and smell you."

Kurt was speechless. All traces of sleep gone, he sat up in his bed and tried to process what Blaine was saying. He knew he was drunk, but he was telling Kurt things that he had obviously wanted to do for some time. And Kurt had no idea how to react, so he decided to play along and see what else he could learn.

"Blaine, you know you can hug me anytime you want to." He said, jokingly, testing the waters.

"I want to hug you all the time, Kurt, but, but I can't." Came the broken reply.

"Why not?" He was almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Because if I let myself get to close, I'll be lost. I can't let that happen. These feelings...I - I don't understand them, and my friends keep telling me..." Suddenly there was noise in the background and he heard muffled voices. 'Blaine, dammit man, what are you doing? Are you stupid? Hang up the fucking phone.'

Kurt heard Blaine start to object, then there was nothing but a dial tone. Kurt just sat there, phone still in his hand, listening to the dial tone, for what seemed like hours. He knew sleep was impossible, so he put the phone down and picked up his diary. He wrote until his hand began to cramp, then he took a break, and wrote some more.

Keeping a diary was the only thing that kept him sane during his high school years, and as much as it pained him to say, the one from his freshman year was filled with Blaine and only Blaine. God, he was pathetic. But, hearing Blaine say those things to him gave him hope again. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder.

He finally fell asleep around dawn, exhaustion finally catching up to him. He stayed up later than he should have, glancing at his phone every few minutes, hoping Blaine would call back, or even send a quick text, but all he got was radio silence.

Unfortunately, that silence lasted throughout the following day, which was incredibly confusing to Kurt. Normally, Blaine texted him at least 10 times a day. Usually just random thoughts or quotes from their favorite movie or song, but today, nothing.

After spending all day worrying and fretting, Kurt decided to just bite the bullet and text Blaine himself. Nothing earth shattering, just a quick hello, and what's up.

Kurt didn't receive a reply until hours later, as he was in the middle of his moisturizing routine. Fearing the worst, he made himself wait until he was finished, then slowly walked to his desk where his phone lay. He looked at it as if it might bite, before snatching it up and looking at the message before he could change his mind.

He wished he hadn't looked. He's not sure what he was expecting after last nights call and weird confessions, but is wasn't this. The text simply said, 'Sorry, busy.'

That's it. Sorry, busy. Really? He drunk dialed him, going on about how he wants to smell him and pretty much says he is confused about his feelings, before his friends cut him off. What the hell? Sure, Kurt was hurt earlier, and confused. Hell, he was still confused, but now he was just pissed. Well, two can play that game.


	2. Summer Surprise

So, for the next week, Kurt tried to block out Blaine's existence. Which wasn't easy, because two days after their late night call, Blaine began texting him again, as if nothing had happened, picking up right where they had left off before the call.

Kurt decided he was sick of the drama, so he ignored all Blaine's texts and calls. He even stayed off the computer when he knew Blaine was available, so he could avoid any Skype requests.

Kurt was proud of himself, and was actually felt like he might be able to let go once they got back to school. That was until July 4th. That's the day that all his hope came rushing back again, and he loved it and hated it.

Burt and Carole had let Kurt and Finn invite all their friends from New Directions over for a cookout. Most of them were home for the summer, and were excited to get the gang back together again. Kurt helped Carole prepare the food, while directing his dad and Finn on decorating the back yard with festive lights in red, white and blue, and tasteful table cloths adorned with fireworks made from sequence.

As the party time drew nearer, Kurt was visibly excited. He couldn't wait to see all his friends again. Sure, he saw Rachel on a daily basis, and Finn on holidays and some weekends, but he hadn't seen Mercedes in almost 6 months!

So, when the doorbell rang, he ran to the door, throwing it open and getting ready to jump into his BFF's arms, when the site before him stopped him cold. Standing there on his doorstep, in Lima, Ohio was Blaine.

Kurt stood there in shock, mouth wide open, not able to speak. Blaine, always the charmer, gave a big smile, threw out his arms and said, "Surprise!"

Surprise didn't even begin to cover it. What the hell? Kurt had been actively avoiding Blaine, and now here he was. On his doorstep, acting as though Kurt should be happy to see him. He was speechless, obviously.

Kurt probably would have continued to stand there with his mouth open had his dad not come around the corner to see who arrived.

"Kurt, who...oh," He stopped when he saw Blaine, not recognizing him. He looked from Blaine to Kurt and raised his eyebrows. Before he could speak again, Blaine stepped forward and held out his hand.

"Mr Hummel, hello, I'm Blaine Anderson. I'm a friend of Kurt's from NYADA."

Burt took Blaine's hand and shook it, recognizing the name from a few conversations with Kurt. "Sure, Blaine, nice to finally meet you. Kurt didn't tell me he invited you to the cookout."

"I didn't." Kurt said quickly, finally coming back to his senses.

Burt frowned at Kurt's response, but before he could question his son, Blaine spoke. "He didn't. See, I don't live around here. My family is from Michigan, but I have relatives in Westerville, and I knew Kurt lived here in Lima so I thought I'd drive down and surprise him. It seems I've picked a bad time, though, so I'll just go. I'm sorry for the intrusion."

"You aren't going anywhere," Burt said. "Kurt and Finn are having some friends over for a cookout and you are joining us." Burt ushered Blaine in, pointing him in the direction of the kitchen. "Kurt was helping Carole with drinks, if you want to pitch in."

Kurt looked at his dad with wide eyes. Was he crazy? He just invited Blaine to stay for the cookout. What was shaping up to be a great day just dropped from off the charts to sucky in a matter of minutes. Kurt just stood there with the door still open, staring at Blaine's retreating back. His dad, oblivious to Kurt's distress followed Blaine, leaving Kurt to wonder if he had entered the Twilight Zone.

Before he could close the door, he saw Mercedes coming up the front walk. After what had just transpired, he really needed a hug, so he raced down the front steps and enveloped his friend in a bone crushing hug.

"I missed you too, Kurt." Mercedes said, once she could breath again.

Kurt pulled back, laughing, and kissed her cheek. "I'm so glad you are here." His voice had a bit of tension mixed with the excitement.

"Alright boy, you better tell me what's up now." She said in a tone that meant business.

"Blaine is here." Was all he said.

"What!" He almost shrieked. Kurt had been on the phone every night of the past week crying and complaining to Mercedes about how hard it was to ignore Blaine, and she helped him stay strong and avoid replying back to him.

"What did you do?" She asked him, accusingly.

"Nothing, I swear." He whispered, not wanting anyone else to hear their conversation. "He just...showed up."

"He what?" She put her hand on her hip, jutting it out like the diva she was.

"He said something about having family in Westerville, or something, so he wanted to surprise me with a visit. Well, color me surprised." His sarcasm couldn't mask the pain in his voice.

"Oooook. Dude doesn't get a clue, does he?"

"Cedes, I've told you all about him. He's hot and cold. I think the more I ignore him, the more he makes himself available."

"This isn't making himself available, this is being pushy. What is his agenda anyway?"

"To mess with my head, I think."

"So, why is he still here?" She asked finally.

"Oh yea, that's the best part. My dad invited him to stay. Yeah. Thanks for nothing, dad. Ugh. And I just stood there. I couldn't say anything without dad asking a lot of questions, and before I knew what was happening, Blaine was in my kitchen, helping my step mother."

Mercedes just shook her head. "Wow." She linked her arm with his and started toward the house. "Well, let's go make the best of it." She said, then added, "But that boy better keep his butt in line. I'll be watching."

Kurt laughed at that and squeezed Mercedes arm tighter, silently thanking her for supporting him.

Over the course of the next hour, all their friends had arrived and everyone had migrated into the back yard to catch up, eat, and enjoy each others company.

Although Blaine was an outsider, he proceeded to charmed the pants off every member of New Directions, with the exception of Rachel and Mercedes. He'd also managed to convert his dad and Carole to team Blaine, as well.

With Blaine being his adorable, dapper self, Kurt was finding it hard to avoid him. I mean, here he was, mingling with his best friends and family, and acting like he hadn't just almost confessed something important on the phone just last week.

Kurt sat back and watched Blaine laughing and joking with his friends, and something stirred inside him. Maybe he really didn't remember their conversation and was felt bad about the whole thing, and he was trying to make it up to Kurt, showing up here.

Even though Blaine was making the rounds, so to speak, he always found Kurt's eye and made sure he knew Blaine was watching him. At first it pissed him off a little, but as the evening wore on, Kurt found it actually kind of sweet.

Mercedes had been watching her boy all night, and could tell that he was letting his defenses down again. Damn that Blaine Anderson. Does he not know what he does to Kurt? How he had that poor boy tied up in knots on a regular basis?

And now, being all charming and wonderful right to everyone he met was really frustrating her. But, after watching him watch Kurt, she began to wonder if he really did have feeling for Kurt but was too much of a coward to make a move. That would explain the drunk phone call and the almost confession. Alcohol may lower your inhibitions, but it also brings hidden feeling to the surface.

Maybe Blaine coming here was his way of reaching out again. She could tell Kurt was falling for him even more, although he tried to deny it, and that scared her. Even though Blaine really did seem sincere, she couldn't squash the feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her he was going to continue to hurt Kurt again and again.

Later that night, Kurt pulled Blaine aside, and asked him the question he'd been wanting to know the answer to for a week.

"So, do you remember drunk dialing me last week?". He saw a look of panic pass over Blaine's face before quickly being covered up by fake confusion.

"Oh, yea. I, uh, don't remember much from that night. My friends mentioned that they heard me talking to you, but I don't really remember. Sorry." He said, trying to sound sincere, but failing.

"So, you don't remember anything?" Kurt asked in a tone that said he knew Blaine was lying.

"Uh, no, I was pretty wasted. Is that why you've been ignoring my texts? Did I say something stupid?"

"Do you really want to know? He asked, in a no nonsense voice.

Blaine looked up then, the panicked look back. "N-no, probably not. Can we just forget about it and pretend it never happened? I just want things to go back to normal. Please?"

Kurt was just so tired of feeling sad and confused, so he said the only thing that made sense to him at the time. "Sure."


	3. Back to School

Throughout the rest of the summer, the two friends stayed in contact, texting and Skyping like nothing had happened. Kurt was still hurt and confused, but realized that if he wanted to keep Blaine in his life as a friend, he would have to find a way to move on. And he was able to do just that, most of the time. But sometimes, at night he would lie in bed and think what if.

Unfortunately, Kurt was not one of those people that great things happened to. He always had to fight for every little thing. In Glee, he fought Rachel for solos, and he fought against the world because of his sexuality.

Blaine, on the other hand, was alway popular. He'd been the lead soloist in his high school glee club, as well as Prom King. And he was gay too. But, he didn't wear his individuality like Kurt did. Blaine had once told Kurt that was one of the things he loved the most about him, that he wasn't afraid to be himself. Of course, Blaine had said that during one of his 'drunk dial calls' to Kurt.

He'd only received two more that summer, and always tried to get Blaine off the phone as quickly as possible. The less he heard from drunk Blaine, the more he was able to protect his heart.

Once school was back in session, the boys found their schedules were quite busy, and didn't allow them much time together. Kurt couldn't decide if this was a good thing (good for his heart) or a bad thing (he really missed seeing him).

Three weeks into the semester, Kurt got an internship with an up and coming fashion magazine, and was on cloud nine. Sure, he would be getting coffee and filing, but he was also going to get to sit in at the weekly brainstorming meetings and was also invited to the biggest fashion party of the year. It was everything he wanted and was convinced that this was going to be a great school year.

Blaine was also starting the year off well. He'd been chosen to sing lead in a band that he and some friends put together. They hadn't booked a gig yet, but New York was a big town with a lot of bars. He was sure it wouldn't be long before they were playing every weekend. And he was right. For the first few weeks, they played coffee houses and really small venues, but by Halloween, they'd had their first gig in an actual bar.

Kurt and Blaine hadn't seen each other since school started, but still texted on a regular basis. They tried to meet for coffee on several occasions, but one of them was always called away at the last minute, leaving them both a little disappointed.

But, when Blaine told Kurt his band was playing at the Music Note the Friday before Halloween, Kurt told him he wouldn't miss it for the world. Not wanting to go alone, Kurt drug Rachel and a few of her classmates along.

He was nervous and excited to see Blaine again. Their friendship had gone back to the way it had been early in their freshman year, but Kurt was not sure which Blaine would be showing up tonight, his real friend or the stranger.

One of the people Rachel invited was late, so by the time they got to the bar, Blaine's band had already taken the stage. Kurt had been hoping to get there early to wish Blaine luck. Who was he kidding? He just missed his best friend and couldn't wait to hug him.

They found a table in the back and ordered drinks, Kurt taking a seat with the best view of the stage. His breath caught in his throat when he saw Blaine for the first time. He'd almost forgotten how incredibly gorgeous Blaine really was. Seeing up on that stage, with the lights shining down on him, giving him an almost angelic glow, Kurt felt all those feelings he'd tried to push down resurface.

Maybe coming had not been such a good idea. He was actually considering leaving, when he realized Blaine's eyes kept moving around the place as if searching for something. He got momentarily distracted by the waitress, and when he looked back up, his eyes locked with Blaine's, and Blaine smiled to big he was sure it could be seen in space. Was it possible Blaine had been looking for him? Just the thought that Blaine was happy to see him gave him tingles up and down his spine.

Throughout the entire first set, Blaine kept glancing back to their table, as if he was afraid that Kurt would leave. Damn Blaine for knowing him so well, because part of him did want to turn tail and run. But he came here to support his friend, and no matter how hard that was turning out to be, he was going to stay.

But boy was it really hard. Just sitting back and watching the object of your affection dancing and singing onstage, while guys and girls alike followed him with lust in their eyes. Sure, jealousy was a big part of the reason he wanted to bolt, but the biggest reason was up on that stage, oblivious to how much he affected Kurt by just being.

By the time the band took their first break, Kurt's anxiety level was through the roof. He thought Blaine looked happy to see him, but with his two personalities to deal with, Kurt wasn't sure exactly how to act when the saw each other face to face.

Kurt didn't have to wonder for long, though because there was a flash of blue and suddenly he was being pulled to his feet and into a huge hug. His arms wrapped around Blaine's neck instinctively, and he felt Blaine pull him closer, nuzzling his nose in Kurt's neck. He didn't think anyone could tell that's what was happening, but he could feel Blaine breathing in and out through his nose. He almost passed out when he realized what was happening. Blaine was smelling him.

Blaine had told him on his first drunk call that he loved how Kurt smelled, and now, standing in the middle of a noisy bar, Blaine was holding Kurt tight and smelling his neck. Wait, did he just...no way. A split second before Blaine pulled back, Kurt felt a warm wet...kiss.. on his neck. Oh my God. Not only did Blaine just smell him, but he kissed his neck. Shit. How was he supposed to keep it together now? He should have left when he had the chance.

Blaine pulled back from Kurt, but kept ahold of his arms and he spoke to him excitedly. "Kurt, I'm so glad you came. I can't believe we haven't see each other before now. It seems like forever. I really missed you. How do you like the show so far? What do you think of the band? Do you like the..."

Kurt took his finger and placed it over Blaine's lips, silencing him. "Blaine...take a breath." When he saw Blaine's eyes practically bugging out of his head, he quickly dropped his hand and took a step back, forcing Blaine to let go of his arms.

"I..."

"I'm happy to be here too. And yes, I am loving the band."

Blaine's eyes went back to their normal size and his shoulders relaxed a little with Kurt's words. "Sorry, I'm just really excited."

"I can tell." Rachel stood up then and Kurt looked at her puzzled, because apparently, he had forgotten she was there. That wasn't surprising, though. Blaine always had that effect on Kurt.

"Impressive," she said to Blaine, motioning toward the stage. "Kurt said you guys have only been together for a month and here you are, already playing at the Music Note." Rachel was still leery of Blaine and wasn't about to shower him with compliments.

"Yeah, we got pretty lucky." He replied, not sure how to take Rachel. "Well, I hope you plan on staying for the second set," he said, looking back to Kurt with what he would later refer to as puppy dog eyes.

Kurt looked at Rachel, and the look in her eyes told him no, but he had never been able to tell Blaine no, so he nodded to Blaine. "Wouldn't miss it."

"Maybe we can catch up after." He said to Kurt as he was headed back to the stage.

"Sure. I'll wait for you."

Rachel and her friends ended up leaving, which Kurt was actually happy about. He was hoping that he and Blaine could go out for coffee their show and catch up, so he waited. After the last song, the band left the stage, and Kurt was hoping to catch Blaine's eye so he would know he was waiting, but to no avail. Kurt sat at the table for 30 minutes, waiting, but Blaine never came back out.

Hurt and embarrassed, he left. He didn't want to go back and face Rachel yet, so he walked around for another hour before heading home. He slipped in quietly, shedding his clothes and climbed into bed, letting the tears fall. He couldn't believe it was happening all over again, and he was letting it.


	4. New Year's Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it feels like I'm jumping around a bit in this story, but there is no way I can write about every day, or this will never be finished! I know right now Blaine is a jerk and unfortunately, that doesn't change anytime soon. I do promise a happy ending, though. Not sure exactly what that means at this point, since I can't control what comes out when I sit down to write, but I'm a sucker for a happy Klaine ending, so please stick with me!

Kurt knew he had to talk to Blaine, but it was not easy with Blaine was totally ignoring him. So, he found out when Blaine's band was playing next and gathered up his courage for a showdown, Hummel style.

Kurt sat at the very back of the bar, hidden away from the band and waited. Just after 11:00, the band took a break. Kurt waited until Blaine approached the bar and took a seat before attacking.

"Blaine, what is the fuck? Why do you continue to play with my feelings like that?" Kurt yelled.

"I - I'm not sure what you are talking about." he stuttered back.

"Don't play dumb with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about. It the same reason you've been avoiding me for the last three weeks."

"I'm not avoiding you, I've just been busy, you know, with school and the band." The excuse sounded weak, even to Blaine's ears, and he looked down, avoiding Kurt's eyes.

"Really," Kurt said in the bitchiest voice he could muster to cover the hurt he was feeling. "So you weren't avoiding me because of what happened on New Years Eve?" He saw Blaine's face pale, and continued on. "Look Blaine, you are one of my best friends and I really want to believe that you don't set out to hurt me on purpose."

Blaine look up then, surprised and a little sad. "Kurt..."

"I just want to know why, ok? We were together, Blaine. You spend the night in my bed, innocently, yes, but you were there holding me all night, like you cared." Blaine looked like he wanted to say something, but Kurt raised a hand to stop him. "You kissed me Blaine, at midnight. Hell, you kissed me at midnight for all the time zones, remember? Because its certainly burned in my memory." Kurt stopped then, a tear trying to escape out of the corner of his eye. "Please Blaine, just help me understand." He hated the pleading tone he heard in his voice, but he really needed to know.

Blaine just sat there, shuffling his feet on the bottom of the bar stool, avoiding eye contact with Kurt, yet again. He grabbed his beer, chugged it and wiped his mouth before beginning. "I'm sorry Kurt. I was drunk. It was fun, sure, but it was a mistake. I though we were just having a little fun. It didn't mean anything, and I'm sorry if you thought otherwise."

Even though Blaine's words were said in a rush, he heard them loud and clear. Throughout the course of Kurt and Blaine's weird relationship, Kurt's heart had been stomped on, bruised, and cracked on many occasions, all thanks to Blaine Anderson. But to tonight was different. All the cracks began to get bigger, and the bruises began to swell, until Kurt felt like his heart literally exploded in his chest.

His breath was coming in short gasps, and he knew if he didn't get out of that bar, he would break down and beg Blaine to take it back. But Kurt Hummel did not beg, so he did the only thing he could. He ran. No, he didn't make a dramatic exit like he wanted to. He wasn't about to give Blaine the satisfaction, so he stood up, although later he'll wonder how his legs didn't collapse right then and there, threw some money on the bar to cover his and Blaine's drinks, yes, he was still a gentleman even when heartbroken, and calmly walked out the door.

Once he got outside, he put his arms around himself, hoping it would somehow help him hold it together until he got away from there. He didn't want to see or talk to anyone, so he just started walking.

With each step, Blaine's words reverberated in his head, 'it was a mistake, it didn't mean anything.' Those words were on a constant loop in his head, and he wanted to scream. He didn't know when he had started crying, he soon found himself stumbling over the curb, because the tears were clouding his vision.

He's not sure exactly how he get there, but suddenly he was in Central Park, under a tree, sobbing. He sat with his knees up, arms wrapped around his legs and his head buried in his knees. He rocked back and forth, letting all the built up emotions come out, and boy did they come out.

His body was literally in pain. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest, and his body was being held in a vice, squeezing out every ounce of feeling, and fuck, it hurt so much. He wondered if people could actually die of a broken heart, because he certainly felt like he was dying. How was he supposed to go on?

New Years had been the best night of his life. Finally being able to get close to Blaine. He thought dancing with him had been heaven. Being held so tightly, swaying to the music, listening to Blaine sing into his ear, feeling his warm breath on his neck as he pulled him in closer had been amazing. But nothing compared him to what he felt when Blaine kissed him. Holy hell, his lips were on fire, and that fire spread throughout his entire body ins matter of seconds. He'd heard some people saw fireworks when they got the kiss from 'the one,' but Kurt didn't see fireworks, no. He saw an entire fucking explosion of color.

Flashback...

Blaine stayed long after the last guest left, and Rachel had excused herself to bed. He and Kurt lay on the couch watching Dick Clark's New Years Rockin Eve, which is when they decided to ring in every New Year, in every time zone, with another kiss. 'if kissing at on New Years Eve is good luck, then imagine how awesome our year will be if we kiss at every New Year,' Blaine had whispered into Kurt's ear at five minutes till one. And so, every hour, their lips met in a passionate kiss, losing themselves in the excitement of it all.

At around four, Kurt stood up and grabbed Blaine by the hand, leading him to his room. Blaine looked panicked for a moment, but Kurt calmed him quickly, explaining that the couch was not a suitable place to cuddle if they wanted to get any rest. Blaine relaxed, and put on the sweats and t-shirt Kurt offered him before climbing into bed.

Kurt decided to skip his moisturizing routine in favor of the gorgeous man in his bed. When he returned to the room after putting his own sleepwear on, the sight that greeted him nearly stopped his heart. There was Blaine, the boy who had held Kurt's heart since that first day in acting class, in his bed, looking like he belonged there.

And even though tonight had been his first kiss and he certainly wasn't ready for more, he knew, deep down, that if Blaine had asked, he would have done anything. That thought scared him and also excited him.

At that moment, Blaine looked at at Kurt and smiled shyly, and Kurt knew he was lost forever. God, he loved that boy so much it literally hurt. So he returned the smile and slid into bed next Blaine. Things were awkward for a moment, then Kurt turned over and wrapped his arms around Blaine, laying his head on his chest. Both boys let out a relieved sigh and Blaine slid his arms around Kurt, pulling him closer, and kissed the top of his head. Kurt lifted his head, leaning forward and placed a quick kiss on Blaine's lips, before snuggling back down again. He heard Blaine whisper, "Happy New Year, Kurt."

"Happy New Year, Blaine." he responded, before drifting off Into a blissful nights sleep.

When he awoke the next morning to an empty bed, he was disappointed, but not worried. Blaine probably needed coffee, which Kurt totally understood, so he drug himself out if bed and made his way to the kitchen, expecting to see Blaine sitting at the table, or at the very least, smell coffee, but neither happened.

That's when Kurt started to panic a little. He walked to the front door, realizing that Blaine's shoes and coat were gone. Ok, so maybe he went out to get coffee. He was a coffee snob. Or maybe he had to get home early and forgot to tell Kurt. He probably left a note, Kurt thought, so he spent the next 20 minutes tearing through the apartment, looking for a note, but finding nothing.

It wasn't until after that he thought about his cell phone. He was sure Blaine had texted him after realizing he'd forgotten to leave a note. He opened his phone to messages from his family and friends, all wishing him a happy new year, but there was nothing from Blaine.

So he decided to stop stressing and just text Blaine first. So he did. Just a quick, thoughtful message that only Blaine would understand. 'Hey, where'd you disappear to? We still have a few more time zones to bring in.'

He waited, hoping that he'd get a quick response. No such luck. Kurt's phone was practically glued to his hand the entire day, and he flinched every time it buzzed, hoping upon hope that is was Blaine, but it never was.

Rachel had been gone most of the day, and returned home to find Kurt in tears on the couch, clutching his phone. She didn't even have to ask. She had seen the two boys the previous night and was surprised, but happy. It seemed Blaine had finally manned up and gave into his feeling for Kurt, but seeing Kurt look so broken, she realized that nothing had changed. No, that wasn't right. Everything had changed. Because this time, he had gone too far. He had taken Kurt's first kiss, and then walked away again, like he didn't matter. God she really hated Blaine right now.

She spent the next three days comforting Kurt, watching movies with him and eating tub after tub of ice cream. Luckily, their new semester didn't start for another four days, because there was no way Kurt was going to be able to pull himself together that quickly. So Rachel made arrangements or the two of them to go back home to Lima for a long weekend.

She contacted Burt and Carole and them that she and Kurt were a little homesick, and needed some down time away from New York. They didn't question her, even though the two of them had been home the week before for Christmas.

Rachel also put an SOS call into Mercedes, who dropped everything and headed home to Lima to be there for her boy.

The three of them spend the first two days holed up in Kurt's room watching movies, talking, eating, and just being. The girls did everything in their power to help their best friend, and by the end of the second day, he actually felt almost normal. Of course, his heart was still broken, but he knew he was strong enough to overcome this.

Rachel and Mercedes visited their perspective homes during the day, but refused to leave their boy alone at night. During the day, there were many distractions to keep his mind off of the "B" word. The girls refused to acknowledge him by name, so he was dubbed "B," which took on several different meanings by the end of the week. But, they knew at night, when it was quiet, that's when his memories would come back full force. So they lay on either side of him, holding him and just being there.

When the time came for them to return to New York, Kurt was much stronger and everyone could see it. While Kurt was packing, Burt pulled the girls aside and said, "I don't know exactly why you three came back, but I know it had nothing to do with being homesick." When the girls tried to speak, he stopped them. "I just want to say thank you, for being there for him. I know he was hurting, and it kills me to see him like that." His voice cracked and be took a shaky breath before continuing. "I also know that without you two, I don't think he would have healed like he did, and that means the world to me. Thank you for the friendship and support you've given him through the years." He pulled the girls into a quick hug before returning to the kitchen to help Carole pack snacks for their trip home.


	5. Getting Over Him

Kurt had tried to get over Blaine after their talk in the bar after New Year's and his breakdown in Central Park, but wasn't as successful as he had hoped. Sure, he'd been able to avoid him, but it hadn't been easy. They did go to the same school, and there had been a few close calls, where Kurt found himself ducking behind walls, around corners, and into bathrooms to avoid being seen.

For the first few months, it had been fairly easy, trying to push those feelings aside, but seeing glimpses of him would bring back all the feelings he was trying hard to suppress. So, he figured the summer would be easier. He was right, but oh so wrong.

Being away from school and New York made it easier because he knew not everything would remind him of Blaine, so he let his guard down and hopefully allow his heart to heal.

Rachel and his step-brother Finn had this on again, off again relationship since high school, and when they were home for the summer, it was usually on. Even though Kurt was reluctant to share what had happened between him and Blaine, she finally convinced him, and was devastated for her best friend. She supported him the best she could at school, but now they were home for the summer, she was determined to help him be happy again.

So, she set him up on a blind date. Her dad's had some friends who's son was gay, and had just come out. She met him when her dad's invited his dad's over for dinner one night. He was also home for the summer from college, and he and Rachel hit it off right away. It wasn't until the evening was almost over that she realized how she could help Kurt and her new friend Matt.

They had been in her room and she was, of course, talking about herself and how their glee club had won Nationals their senior year, and she was showing Matt her photo album of pictures from that win. In the back of the album, there was a picture of she and Kurt they had taken after singing on the Wicked stage. She saw Matt's face change suddenly, and she grinned.

"He's cute, huh?" She asked.

"Uh, um," he stuttered, and she saved him from his embarrassment.

"He's gay too, and totally available. I can set you up on a date, if you want." She said, already planning everything in her head.

"I don't know," He hesitated.

"I'll tell you what, we'll double. He's my roommate and best friend, and I'm also sort of dating his step-brother." He looked at her confused. "I'll explain it all later. So, you in?"

And that is how Kurt found himself on a double date with step-brother, his best friend, and Matt. Kurt was furious with Rachel at first. How dare she set him up on a blind date! What was she thinking? She told him she knew he had to get his mind off Blaine, and this was the perfect way. According to Rachel, Matt was a little shy, hence the double date, and very cute, so Kurt caved.

The three of them told Matt they'd meet him at Breadsticks at 7:00. Kurt was a nervous wreck, trying to find the perfect outfit. He didn't want to seem like he was trying too hard, but he still wanted to look nice. Finn actually helped him decide on a pair of dark skinny jeans and a blue button down shirt with a vest.

Dinner went by quickly, the four kids laughing and talking. Kurt's initial reluctance faded moment's after meeting Matt. He was sweet and intelligent, not to mention good looking. Conversation between the two of them flowed easily, and the four of them decided to move the party back to the Hudson-Hummel residence for a movie night.

When the evening came to a close, Kurt was a little sad. He'd really had a great time, and had enjoyed Matt's company, which came as a complete surprise. He walked Matt out to his car to say goodnight, and when Matt asked if they could get together again, Kurt agreed whole-heartily. Matt gave him a hug and the two agreed to have coffee the next day.

Kurt was actually happy. He'd had a great night, hanging out with great friends, and was pleasantly surprised at how well he and Matt had gotten along. Back inside the house, he said a quick goodnight to Rachel and Finn and headed to his room.

He changed into his pajamas and lay back on his bed, replaying the evening in his mind, when his phone suddenly buzzed. He smiled, thinking it was Matt. The two had exchanged numbers and Matt had told him he'd text Kurt what time the two could meet for coffee the next day.

Unfortunately, his smile was wiped off his face the moment he saw the text, and the happy feeling that he'd had was gone in an instant. He hadn't seen Blaine in months, and although Blaine had tried to text and call Kurt a few times, it seemed as though he had given up. Or not.

Kurt debated on deleting the text without reading it, but knew he wouldn't be able to do so. Even though he was avoiding Blaine, he was still in love with the stupid, frustrating boy, so he opened the text. All it said was, 'this is how I feel...' followed by a link. He knew he shouldn't have, but he clicked on the link, and his room was filled with Blaine's voice, singing. His heart jumped at the sound, and he lay back on his bed and listened to the song. The song was sung much slower than normal and the only instrument accompanying Blaine's voice was a piano.

Oh yeah

Oh yeah

So scared of breaking it

That you won't let it bend

And I wrote two hundred letters

I will never send

Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem

You'd rather cover up

I'd rather let them bleed

So let me be

And I'll set you free (Oh yeah)

I am in misery

There ain't nobody who can comfort me (Oh yeah)

Why won't you answer me?

The silence is slowly killing me (Oh yeah)

Boy, you really got me bad

You really got me bad

I'm gonna get you back

I'm gonna get you back

Your salty skin and how

It mixes in with mine

The way it feels to be

Completely intertwined

Not that I didn't care

It's that I didn't know

It's not what I didn't feel,

It's what I didn't show

So let me be

And I'll set you free

I am in misery

And there ain't nobody who can comfort me (Oh yeah)

Why won't you answer me?

The silence is slowly killing me (Oh yeah)

Boy, you really got me bad

You really got me bad

I'm gonna get you back

I'm gonna get you back

You say your faith is shaken

And you may be mistaken

To keep me wide awake and waiting for the sun

I'm desperate and confused

So far away from you

I'm getting there, I don't care where I have to run

Why do you do what you do to me, yeah?

Why won't you answer me, answer me, yeah?

Why do you do what you do to me, yeah?

Why won't you answer me, answer me, yeah?

I am in misery

There ain't nobody who can comfort me (Oh yeah)

Why won't you answer me?

The silence is slowly killing me (Oh yeah)

Boy, you really got me bad

You really got me bad

I'm gonna get you back

I'm gonna get you back

By the end of the song, Kurt was sobbing into his pillow, hot angry tears he'd tried so desperately to hold back, falling once again. Why? He was so stupid for listening to that song. He should have just deleted the text right away. Just when he was beginning to allow himself to be happy, Blaine had to go and do this.

Kurt was torn, though, because as much as it hurt to hear Blaine's voice again, he couldn't help but wonder about this song choice. He listened to the song over and over, noticing each and every tremor in Blaine's voice when he said misery. A part of Kurt thought that Blaine might actually have feelings for him, and when he did things like this, (and his previous summer's drunk dials), it just cemented those thoughts for Kurt.

He wanted to hate Blaine, he really did, but he couldn't. So, he laid there, listening to Blaine sing to him all night long. He didn't respond, he couldn't, but he allowed himself to hope just a little, in the night, knowing that in the light of day, he'd go back to pretending Blaine didn't exist.

The rest of the summer went by fast. Kurt spent quite a bit of time with Matt, but they both realized fairly quickly that neither one of them had feelings deeper than friendship, but agreed to keep in touch after returning to school.

Kurt didn't tell anyone about his text from Blaine that night. He'd gotten others since then, which he deleted after reading, but couldn't bring himself to delete that song. He listened to it every night. Yes, he knew it was pathetic. During the day, he acted as if everything was right with the world, but at night, alone in the dark, he allowed himself to cling to the hope that one day, Blaine might come around.


	6. Here We Go Again

He'd been through so much heartache since meeting Blaine. Not that their friendship, relationship, whatever the hell it was, had been all bad. They had some really great times together. Then, when it looked like things were going to move forward, Blaine would pull back. He usually just took to ignoring Kurt for a while, until things blew over and they went back to being friends.

Kurt had gotten used to this pattern of possibility suddenly leading to heartache. It was hard at first, but eventually got easier. His girl friends would try to tell him he was being a fool, and deep down, he knew he was, but he couldn't ignore what his heart was saying. And it was telling him that regardless of how Blaine treated him, they were soul mates.

Yes, Blaine was an ass to him on more than one occasion, but the good times they shared, and the hope that Kurt had, mixed with the occasional cracks in Blaine's walls he found, showed him that he and Blaine had something...could have something. Something real.

Unfortunately, after Blaine's last drunken confession about wanting to marry him, then not returning his calls and avoiding him for over a month, he realized he needed to let Blaine go. In order to have a happy, carefree life, he needed to cut himself off from Blaine altogether. He wasn't strong enough to just stay friends. He'd tried that. Then Blaine would get drunk tell Kurt everything he wanted to hear and they'd be back to square one.

Flashback...

School had started again, and Kurt was excited. He'd had a great summer, spending most of it in Lima with his family, but he'd also spent time visiting Mercedes in LA, which had been nothing short of amazing. He was coming back to school with a new outlook.

His internship had turned into an honest to goodness job, and Kurt couldn't have been happier. So, when his new colleagues invited him out for a night on the town, he jumped at the chance.

Every year, NYADA had a back to school party where they blocked off the street directly in front of the school, and let the students get to know each other. Much to Rachel's disappointment, the back to school party fell on the same night Kurt was going out.

Kurt wasn't planning to attend the NYADA party despite Rachel's insistence, but did promise her he'd stop by after his night out with his new friends. So, after a wonderful dinner and a few drinks later, Kurt found himself engulfed in a sea of NYADA students, looking for his roommate and best friend.

She'd told him to meet her by the front steps, but there were so many people, he was having a hard time finding her. He decided to back up toward the side of the building and see if he could spot her from there. Unfortunately, he wasn't watching where he was going and accidentally stepped backward onto another persons foot, causing him to spill his beer.

He heard a loud "Dammit." and turned around to apologize, but was stopped cold at the person in front of him. His heart stopped beating and he held his breath, wondering for a moment if he could run away without being seen. The curly haired boy had his head down, trying to wipe off his shirt, that was now soaked with beer.

Kurt wanted to say he was sorry, but couldn't form words, and as much as he wanted to run, his legs felt like they were glued to the ground, leaving a silent, still boy, waiting.

He didn't have to wait long. The shorter boy jerked his head up, snapping at the unknown person in front of him, "Dude, watch where you are..." he stopped, a look of recognition dawning on his face. "Kurt." He whispered in awe, before suddenly pulling Kurt into a crushing hug.

Part of Kurt wanted to pull away, but another part of him wanted to return the hug with full force. Guess which part won. The two boys stood in the crowd of people, just reveling in the feel of each other again. It was Blaine who pulled back first, but he grabbed Kurt's hands and pulled him into a quieter place beside the brick building, away from the noisy crowd, before pulling him back in for another hug.

Kurt let himself be hugged again, even though he knew he would hate himself later. Blaine's warmth was so comforting, and after not seeing him for six months, it felt like coming home, so he allowed himself these few fleeting moments of weakness.

He pulled back suddenly when he felt what he thought was Blaine's lips on his neck. He looked into his former crushes eyes, and saw how glassy they were, obviously from drinking. He knew his reflected the same, as he'd indulged in a few cocktails that evening, as well.

When there eyes met, Blaine smiled and began speaking fairly clearly for someone who was so obviously drunk. "Oh my God, Kurt. It's so good to see you. God, I've missed you so much. Why did you stop returning my texts? I really wanted to talk to you, and to see you." As he was speaking, Blaine had reached down and grabbed Kurt's hands again, and even though he knew it was a mistake, he let him.

Kurt wanted to tell Blaine he'd missed him too, but couldn't, so he just said, "It's good to see you again, too."

Blaine was having none of Kurt's blasé attitude, and continued letting his thoughts spill out. "Kurt, I was so lonely this summer. I missed you everyday, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to see you. Seriously, you have no idea how much I missed you. I thought about you all the time. I really, really want to be with you all the time. and now that same sex marriage is legal in New York I think we should do it." Blaine brought their connected hands up to his mouth and started kissing Kurt's left hand, right over his ring finger.

Kurt was speechless. Yes, drunk Blaine was an honest Blaine, but this...this was something completely out of the blue. They hadn't seen each other in over 6 months and Kurt was sure that Blaine had found someone in that time. Even though Blaine had texted him (yes, he ignored said texts for his own sanity), but he just assumed Blaine was dating and happy.

While Kurt contemplated this, Blaine continued with his drunken spiel. "Seriously, Kurt, I know we are both still in school, but I think we could make it. Let's do it. Let's get married. I want to be with you. I don't care what my friends say anymore. I know what I want, and it's you. No kids yet, just marriage. Please, please say you want to marry me."

Kurt felt like he was in an episode of the Twilight Zone. He tried to look around and see if he was in the middle of some sort of practical joke, but he could not look away from Blaine's beautiful eyes. Although they were clouded by alcohol, he could see the sincerity in them and it terrified him.

Luckily, Kurt's brain, although hazy from his drinks earlier, was still sharp enough for him to step back and put some distance between him and Blaine. Unfortunately, he stepped back right into a wall, and before he could react, Blaine was pushing his body up against Kurt's, with his hands on either side of his head.

Kurt tried to push Blaine off of him, with little effort, because come on, this is exactly what he had been dreaming of since he'd met Blaine two years before. Sure, the marriage thing was a little out there, but the way Blaine's body felt up against his made him tingle all over and reminded him of the previous New Year's Eve.

He should have been mad at how easily he'd let Blaine back in, but all he could think of in that moment was how much he wanted Blaine to kiss him. As if reading his thoughts, Blaine took one hand off the wall and cupped Kurt's cheek, caressing it, before pulling his lips down to capture Kurt's in a hard, passionate kiss.

Kurt didn't even hesitate, pulling Blaine in closer and opening his mouth, allowing Blaine's tongue access. His knees felt weak when he felt Blaine run his tongue along the roof of his mouth before latching onto his tongue and sucking hard. Kurt moaned, which spurred Blaine on even more, pushing his hips into Kurt's, allowing him to feel how much he was enjoying this amazing kiss.

Kurt brought one hand up to the back of Blaine's head, tilting it to get better access and allowed his tongue to map out the inside of Blaine's mouth, as well. The two boys stood, pressed together up against the building, exploring each others mouths until neither could breath, causing them to pull back, both groaning at the loss of contact. Blaine didn't stop there, though, continuing to rain kisses on Kurt's cheek and down his neck, where he spent a few extra moments sucking on a place behind Kurt's ear that seemed incredibly interesting, before returning his lips to Kurt's once again.

They made out against the side of the building for what seemed like hours, before Kurt's phone began belting out 'Defying Gravity.' That seemed to pull him out of the haze Blaine had him in, and he pulled back. Blaine groaned, but let Kurt go, allowing him the room to grab his phone, but not completely backing away.

It was Rachel, and although he didn't answer it, the mood had been officially killed. Blaine tried to move in again, but Kurt succeeded in putting some much needed distance between them.

"Blaine, that was...well... yeah." Kurt was at a loss, but he knew he needed to get away from Blaine now, before he did something he regretted. And as much as their little make out session was wrong, he couldn't bring himself to regret that. He was still planning to stay away from Blaine, so this was his final goodbye, if you will. He deserved it after everything.

But Blaine was having none of it. "God Kurt, that was amazing. I have seriously been thinking about doing that since last New Years Eve. You have the softest lips. I think I could kiss them forever. That's why I want to marry you. I just want to be able to kiss you forever."

"Blaine," Kurt said, with a small sigh. "We don't have to get married for you to kiss me. And it was your choice not to pursue anything between us after New Years. You ignored me, remember? It was a mistake, and it..." his voice cracked, repeating back Blaine's hurtful words. "It didn't mean anything. You said that to me." Kurt side stepped Blaine and turned his back, not able to look at him anymore.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt. I fucked things up so bad. I'm such an idiot. I was lying to you. It did mean something. It meant everything, but my friends..." He paused, not knowing how to say what he wanted.

"So, I'm supposed to believe that what happened meant that much to you?" Kurt turned around then, angry, putting his hands on his hips. "I find that hard to believe, because if it meant even half as much to you as it did to me, it wouldn't have been so easy for you to just walk away."

"Kurt, I..."

"Save it. And as for your friends," he said, using quotations around the word friends, "I hope they appreciate your friendship, because as of now, you just lost mine."

With that, he turned around and lost himself in the crowd. Blaine was stunned, and stood there staring after Kurt for a moment, before Kurt's words actually hit him. "No, Kurt, wait." He yelled, but it was too late. Kurt was gone.

Blaine leaned back against the brick wall and let the tears fall. He honestly didn't care who saw, because he had just lost the most important person in his life. God, he was such a fuck up. He stayed there, leaning against the wall, eyes closed, body aching, letting the tears fall until his cell phone rang. He ignored the call, but pulled himself together enough to make it back to his apartment.

Had he finally hurt Kurt too much? Was Kurt really done with him and their friendship? It couldn't be possible, because he couldn't imagine his life without Kurt. Sure, he was drunk, but not so wasted that he didn't remember what he'd said to Kurt, and although it did seem a little out of the blue, he really meant it. He wanted to marry Kurt.

Sure, they hadn't seen much of each other after the whole New Year's Eve fiasco, but he still kept an eye on Kurt. But, when summer came, and he didn't have school or the band to keep him distracted, all he had to think about was Kurt. He filled his every thought, day and night. He replayed the kisses from New Year's over and over in his mind.

He tried to call and text Kurt to no avail. He didn't blame him, really, but he knew he needed to find Kurt once he got back to school so they could talk. He planned to do it sober, which would be a first, but he knew it was important. Then he had to literally run into him tonight, of all nights.

Blaine was plagued all night with nightmares of the look on Kurt's face, the pain that he'd caused reflecting in his eyes. Blaine woke up crying more than once during the night.

He knew he'd hurt Kurt before, many times. God, he'd been such an asshole. After last night, he was sure he'd lost him forever. It was probably for the best, anyway. Kurt deserved someone better, someone who didn't need alcohol to be honest about his feelings. Someone who could show him how special he was.

So Blaine decided, sober this time, that he would leave Kurt alone once and for all. It was for the best. But why did it feel like his insides were being ripped to shreds?


	7. I'll Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so the last chapter with the drunken marriage proposal actually did happen to me. I hadn't seen this guy in months and out of the blue, he just says, "lets get married." So, my BFF gave me the same advice that Kurt is getting from Rachel and Mercedes in this chapter.
> 
> Unfortunately, this chapter is where the similarities between my story and theirs ends. For me there was no singing and forgiving, only being ignored, yet again. But hey, that's what fanfiction is for, right? Making things turn out the way you wanted them to!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy enjoy this next chapter.

In the months following Blaine's drunken marriage proposal, Kurt secretly began going to see Blaine's band play. He'd sneak in during the first set, and sit in the far back corner, not visible from the stage, and he'd listen. The first few times he went, he couldn't even bring himself to look at Blaine on stage, just sitting in the back listening, letting his heart break a little more each time.

Finally, when he allowed himself to turn around, his breath caught in his throat. Seeing Blaine again, smiling up on that stage like he didn't have a care in the world shook Kurt to the core. God, he was so beautiful. So he continued to come, always staying hidden, and just allowed himself to worship him from afar.

When Rachel found out what he had been doing, she called Mercedes and they formed in intervention. Mercedes flew to NY one weekend and the girls didn't let him out of their sight. The first night, they stayed in and watched movies and talked. The girls waited until later in the evening before finally confronting him.

Rachel was the first to talk. "Kurt, we know what you're doing, and it isn't healthy."

"Wha..." he looked genuinely confused for a moment.

"Come on, Boo, why do you think I'm here?" Mercedes asked in her very own diva way.

"Bu - but, how...what..." he wasn't very eloquent when flustered.

"I saw you last weekend Kurt. I thought you said you hadn't seen him." Her tone was hurt, knowing he'd lied to her.

"I - I haven't." He received two death glares. "Not really. I mean, he doesn't see me. We don't talk, I just...oh hell, I'm pathetic, aren't I?" He sighed, dropping his head in his hands.

The girls were at his side instantly, rubbing his back. "Oh baby, it's ok. We are so sorry you are going through this. That's why I'm here." Mercedes explained.

"Remember my Barbara-vention? Well, consider this your Blaine-vention." Rachel said with a small smile.

Kurt looked up at his two best friends and wiped a stray tear away before responding. "I suppose it's way past due." He said in a sad voice. Then added, "But entirely necessary, I guess."

Rachel and Mercedes eyes met, then they both looked at Kurt with determined looks. "Ok, so here's what we are going to do." Rachel said, always needing to take control. "You are going to make a list." She got up and walked to the desk, grabbing a yellow note pad and a pen.

"A list?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, a list." She repeated, drawing a line down the middle of the paper. "Sort of like a pros and cons list. But this will be your version of that, regarding Blaine."

Kurt visibly flinched when she said his name out loud. He'd thought it in his mind, but had not said it aloud in months. Rachel noticed, but continued on with her plan, knowing they were trying to help him.

"Ok, on one side is reasons why you should continue to be Blaine's friend, and on the other, reasons why you should cut him out of your life completely." She paused and let what she just said sink in. "I know it seems like something you should do yourself, but the reason we are here," she nodded to Mercedes, "is to help you. Some of the things we are going to put on this list aren't going to be easy, but it's important that you hear them."

She sat down beside him and handed him the pad of paper and pen. Kurt took the items from Rachel, then stood up abruptly, startling the two girls. "Come on, let's get some ice cream and move this into the bedroom." He said. "It's going to be a long night, so we might as well be comfortable. Oh," he said over his shoulder as he walked into the bedroom, "Don't forget the kleenex."

The two girls looked at each other with sad smiles. Kurt was right, it was going to be a long night, but they would get through it together. And even though there would be a lot of tears shed, they were sure that Kurt would come out stronger in the end.

The three finally fell asleep around dawn, and slept well into the afternoon. Even though the intervention was about Kurt and Blaine, it had been emotionally draining for all three of them. Rachel was the first one to move from the bed, so she made the coffee. Eventually, Kurt and Mercedes joined her, accepting the liquid caffeine happily.

After their coffee and toast, the three of them had taken turns showering and preparing themselves for the day that was already halfway over. Rachel suggested a nice dinner and then going to a new karaoke club that had just opened. Even though their night had been rough, especially for Kurt, they all agreed on Rachel's plan.

Dinner had been fun, and the karaoke club a big hit with the former glee clubbers. Because Kurt used music to help him through tough times in his life, he used the karaoke as a way to say he was getting over Blaine, singing 'Jar of Hearts.' As he sang the last words, 'who do you think you are,' tears were flowing down his cheeks.

After Kurt's emotional performance, the girls chose a song for the three of them that had the same emotion, but allowed their diva attitudes to show. When the three of them were called up, they wooed the crowd with their version of 'You Ain't Worth the Salt in My Tears.' They were a hit with the crowd especially after throwing in some impromptu dance steps.

The three friends left the club later, arms around each other, laughing. Kurt felt better than he had in months, and was so grateful for his two BFF's. He knew walking away from his quasi-relationship with Blaine would be hard. Hell, it was going to be the hardest thing he's ever done, but he knew it was the only choice he could make.

As they headed back, Kurt formulated a plan in his mind. He knew he couldn't just walk away, like Blaine could so easily do, but he also knew he couldn't talk to him. That would be too hard. So, he would do the only other thing he knew how to do. He was going to sing to him. For closure.

When the three had exited the club, they were too wrapped up in each other to see the curly hair boy that ducked in a dark doorway across the street, watching, tears still running down his face.

Blaine's band finished earlier than usual and all left to be with their girlfriends, so he decided to check out the new karaoke club that opened down the block. He walked in and found a seat at the bar right away. As he opened his mouth to order his drink, he heard a distinctive voice began to sing. He jerked his head around and was stunned at what he saw.

Up on the stage, looking more gorgeous then ever, was the very boy that had invaded his every thought for the last two months. Who was he kidding, the last two years. God, just seeing him again sent a shiver down his spine. He knew Kurt had been avoiding him, and to be honest, he'd been avoiding Kurt, as well.

He'd broken their friendship beyond repair and was embarrassed. But, God, he missed his best friend. He knew he'd freaked Kurt out the last time they had seen each other. What the hell was he thinking, bringing up marriage? Sure, over the summer while he was missing Kurt, he would imagine the two of them together, years from now, married and living together in the city.

But, what possessed him to say that out loud. Oh yea, it was the alcohol. And that was why that night had been the last time he had drank anything stronger than iced tea in months. He knew that if he wanted another chance with Kurt, and God did he ever, that he'd have to be sober. So he stopped drinking.

His bandmates gave him shit about it every night, but he stayed strong. And he found that he was able to concentrate more on his music, and had actually written a couple of songs. Not saying that he was an alcoholic, by any stretch, but he did like to drink when he went out, and especially when the band had a gig.

When Blaine realized what Kurt was singing, he felt his chest constrict and was certain he was going to pass out. He couldn't breathe, but was mesmerized by the boy on the stage. The passion Kurt was putting into that song, a song that was directed to him, even though Kurt didn't know he was there, was making him weak.

Realizing he didn't want Kurt to see him, he quickly moved around to the other side of the bar so he could watch unseen. By the end of the song, he too had tears running down his face, and he started to get up and go to Kurt, hug him and tell him how sorry he was. Then he saw who Kurt was with...Rachel and Mercedes. He slumped back down in his seat and waited to see if Kurt would sing again.

And he did, and it was even worse. This time, the girls helped him sing a fun, upbeat song about how Blaine wasn't worth the salt in Kurt's tears. Fuck, that hurt.

After that song, Blaine slipped out and barely made it around to the side of the building before completely lost it. He slid down the wall and let the tears come. God, how could he have been so stupid? He never meant for it to come to this. When he first met Kurt, he'd been smitten, and he loved their friendship, but his other friends made fun of it, and him every chance they got.

Even though Blaine had been out and proud since his freshman year in high school, he had still been popular because he could blend in with any crowd. Unlike a lot of other schools in Michigan, the glee club in his school was hugely popular, and his voice and extreme popularity had kept him in the in crowd throughout high school, despite his sexuality.

He knew Kurt's high school experience hadn't been easy. He was from a very small school in Lima, Ohio, and was the only out gay kid. He wore his individuality proudly, and was bullied for it. He'd told Blaine stories about getting thrown in dumpsters and slushied almost everyday. And even though he was also a member of his high school's glee club, their experiences were completely different.

He and Kurt had many conversations about Kurt's past, and Blaine had seen a change in Kurt since that first day. He'd always been a strong person, but since being in NY, Kurt had let his walls come down, and had blossomed into this amazing man. A man that Blaine knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

He'd come to this realization over the summer, but unlike Kurt, he wasn't strong, and he had no idea how to confront his friends about how they talked about Kurt, nor did he know how to talk to Kurt. Of course, his idiocy along with too much alcohol had helped him with that.

Which led him to his current position, sitting outside a karaoke bar sobbing because he realized that he just lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. And he was the only one to blame.

Fuck.


	8. Say Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short, but I think it speaks for itself. Obviously this is where the name of the fic comes from, and originally, this was supposed to be the last chapter, but I just couldn't leave it like this.

Kurt walked out on the stage slowly, a sad but determined look on his face. He whispered to the pianist and made his way up to the mic. The band was taking a break, and Kurt knew this was his moment.

He'd been psyching himself up for the moment for months now. Who was he kidding, it had been years. How could he have let things get so bad? Oh, that's right, it was Blaine. It had always been Blaine.

Kurt couldn't take it anymore. The pining, the waiting, the hurting, the tears. But that all ended tonight. He had waited for the band to take five, because he wanted to make sure Blaine was there, in the audience, watching. Blaine was a creature of habit, so once on break, he would visit the bathroom then the bar.

Kurt waited until he saw Blaine head for the bar before taking the stage. He had never been so scared in all his life, but he also knew that he needed to do this for his own sanity.

As Kurt stepped up to the mic, the nerves hit. He began to shake, and everything in him wanted to turn and run, but when he looked out into the crowd and saw Blaine look back at him with a confused look, he knew he had to continue.

"Hi everyone," he began, his voice a little shaky. "I know the bands on a break, and they will be back shortly, but in the meantime, I would like to sing something. I know this is unusual, but it's necessary." With that, he nodded to the pianist.

The opening notes filled the room and the crowd was suddenly silent, waiting. When Kurt opened his mouth and began singing, he wanted to look around at the reaction of the crowd, but couldn't take his eye's off Blaine.

From the first note he could see the flicker of recognition cross Blaine's face. He could tell the exact moment Blaine realized he was singing the song for him, to him. Blaine's jaw dropped and his eyes widened, and he turned to fully face the stage, drink forgotten on the bar.

Kurt's angelic voice floated out over the bar, lower than his normal range but still strong and tinted with sadness.

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'll be the one, if you want me to

Anywhere, I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

The pianist joined in at the appropriate parts, singing softly, blending beautifully with Kurt's voice.

And I am feeling so small

It was over my head

I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall

I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl

By this time, tears had started to fall down Kurt's cheeks, and he ignored them. He had never allowed himself to be this vulnerable before, but he knew it was necessary.

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Anywhere, I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye

Kurt continued to sing directly to Blaine, not allowing himself to look away. He needed Blaine to know, to understand.

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

And anywhere, I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something

After the last word, Kurt tore his eyes away from Blaine's and was running offstage before the pianist finished the song.


	9. Walking Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said before, the last chapter was supposed to be it. The whole fic was based around that song and that moment. But, fortunately for you all, my brain would not let it end like that, so here's the continuation.

"Kurt, wait." Blaine yelled to the boy walking quickly out the back door and into the alley. Blaine hit the door hard, it banged against the brick wall outside, startling the retreating boy. He stopped, but didn't turn, waiting. "What...what was that?" Blaine asked, still a little breathless from running through the bar and chasing Kurt outside.

There was silence for a moment, before he heard a soft voice say, "My way of saying goodbye."

"That wasn't a goodbye song. That was a here's your last chance so don't screw it up song."

"I - I wanted it to be that, but I'm not sure my heart can handle another chance. It's just too hard, seeing you again. I thought, for a while, that I could do it...be satisfied just being your friend, but I can't." His voice quivered, but he continued talking, needing to say it. "If you...I can't be around you when you are so hot and cold. Our friendship was wonderful, and I, I'll miss you so much, but if I allow you to get close to me again, you'll just end up breaking my heart. And I..." he paused, his shoulders shaking as he tried to tell Blaine everything he needed to.

Before he could continue, Blaine had moved up behind him and touched his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. The taller boy jerked away, but did turn to face Blaine. It was there, in a dingy, dark alley, lit only by the moon and a dull fluorescent light bulb outside the back door, that Blaine truly saw Kurt for the first time.

The soft light on his face, shining off the tears that were running freely down his cheeks. His porcelain skin almost ethereal in the glow of the moonlight. But it was his eyes that really hit Blaine. The eyes that he'd always loved, that shined with light when they would sing together, that sparkled when he spoke about his fashion internship, were now dull and lifeless. He had done that. He was responsible for that.

Oh God.

In that one moment, he felt like he was looking into Kurt's soul, and it scared the shit out of him. He felt an incredible tightness in his chest, and was having a hard time breathing. How could it have come to this? How did he let things get so out of hand? God, he had been so stupid. His breathing became more and more ragged and he leaned down and put his hands on his knees to stop himself from falling, but was unsuccessful.

He fell hard onto his knees in the alley, the rocks and broken glass digging into his legs going unnoticed. He was gasping for breath now, his vision starting to become spotty.

Suddenly he felt a warm hand on his back, soothing him and whispering, but he was so far gone, he couldn't make out what was being said. Then the hand was gone and he tried to yell for it to come back, but couldn't, because there were hands in front of his face, over his nose and mouth. He tried to push them away frantically, but just ended up flailing his arms around uselessly.

Still on his knees, his head was pushed down, while the hands remained over this face, and he was breathing into them. Although he was still fully unaware of exactly what was happening, he began to hear a soothing voice in his ear, trying to calm him. At first, it was just snippets, "breathe...calm...slow...deep...focus...me..." and finally, when he felt the constriction of his chest ease, the words became sentences. "Come on, breathe Blaine. Slow, deep breaths. That's it. Focus on my voice. There you go, that's better. Concentrate on taking one breath at a time. Good, good, you're doing great."

The encouraging words continued until he was able to breath normally, although his mind was still hazy. Finally, he was able to reach up and grasp the hands that were covering his mouth and pull them down, holding them between his own. He leaned back and looked up, almost surprised to see Kurt sitting there.

He knew he didn't deserve the comfort and care he was getting from Kurt. He really was surprised to see him, because the look he had before whatever just happened was one of heartache and regret. Blaine knew he was the sole reason for that look, and Kurt could have just walked away and left Blaine to deal with his own issues. Then again, he shouldn't be surprised. Kurt had always been there.

God, he had been so stupid. He was the one that always pushed Kurt away, just when they were getting close. He knew he wanted more than friendship with Kurt, but his friends somehow convinced him it wasn't a good idea. They had all kinds of excuses. You are too young to get serious with someone, and he seems like the serious type. He's too clingy. He's too girly. You have different interests. You are the lead singer of our band, man, you can't have a boyfriend. People need to see you as available.

That last one stuck out to him now. They'd said people. Not guys, but people. It finally hit him, then. His so called friends didn't want him with Kurt, not because of Kurt, but because they were not comfortable with him being gay, and the two of them being in a relationship. Oh my God. With that realization, he felt like he had just aged ten years. His friends were embarrassed of him, and kept him from the one good thing in his life.

That was all going to change now. He was going to tell Kurt everything. He just hoped it wasn't too late. The pain in his chest increased at that thought. Ever since he heard Kurt's voice up on that stage, and listened to him sing that song with such emotion, he'd had a pain in his chest. No, worse than a pain, more like his heart was being crushed. And moment's ago, when he looked into Kurt's eyes, and saw the pain reflected there, and he put it all together, the song, Kurt's words, his pain, his resolve...he was really saying goodbye.

He knew, after everything that had just happened, and the pain and tightness that was still present, that he couldn't live without Kurt. Now, he just had to figure out how to tell the beautiful, broken boy in front of him. Tell him how sorry he was, and that he'd never meant to hurt him, and how much he loved him, really, really loved him. And, oh God, he was so sorry. And please forgive him, because he didn't think he could live without him.

What Blaine didn't realize was that everything he was thinking was coming out of his mouth in between violent sobs. He was still on his knees, and was rocking back and forth now, tears running down his cheeks, words of regret pouring out of his mouth.

Kurt sat there, stunned. He'd really planned on singing the song and leaving Blaine behind, once and for all. He didn't expect him to charge into the alley after him, and certainly didn't expect the panic attack that followed. He'd never seen Blaine so vulnerable before and it was a little disconcerting. He wanted to turn around and leave, so he would finally understand what Kurt had been feeling these last two years. But he couldn't.

So, he crouched down in a dirty alleyway in his good pants, and forced Blaine's head down, cupping his hands in front of his face. He knew that breathing into a paper bag was the best thing for a panic attack, but he had to use what he had. He leaned down and spoke encouraging words, trying to calm him down. He was scared for a minute, because Blaine looked like he was about to pass out, and was totally unaware of his surrounding.

So, Kurt stayed with him, speaking soothing words to him, feeling Blaine's warm breath on his hands as they remained cupped over his mouth and nose. After what seemed like an eternity, Blaine's breathing finally calmed down. Just as Kurt was about to pull his hands away, he felt Blaine's hands come up and grab them, pulling them away from his face, but not letting them go.

Kurt was about to pull them away and stand up, when Blaine leaned back and looked at him. He could see a myriad of emotions flash in Blaine's hazel eyes. Suddenly tears began to leak out, but Blaine took no notice of them. He started rocking back and forth and a sob escaped before he began mumbling. The mumblings got louder, as did the sobs, and Kurt realized what what happening.

Blaine finally realized Kurt was serious. Kurt was actually going to walk away. It was hard to make out some of Blaine's words though the sobs, but Kurt understood immediately. He was apologizing. More than that, he was asking Kurt to forgive him and not to leave. He kept saying please, please don't leave me. Then, Kurt heard the three words he'd waited to hear his whole life.

Kurt just sat there, staring at Blaine, for once, not knowing what to do. They were sitting in an alley behind a bar, and Blaine was pouring his heart out to Kurt, and he was frozen. Part of him wanted to just take Blaine into his arms, kiss the tears away and tell him that he loved him too, but the logical part of him stopped him from doing just that.

So he did the only thing that made sense at the time. He pulled his hands away and leaned back, still on the ground, but no longer so close he could feel Blaine's warmth.

He put a finger under Blaine's chin and tilted it up, forcing eye contact. "Blaine, please calm down and listen, ok?" He waited until Blaine's sobs quieted before he continued. "As much as I want to believe you, I just can't. You've hurt me too many times, Blaine, I just can't open myself up like that again."

"Kurt, please..." Blaine said, his voice hoarse from this breakdown.

"No, Blaine, you listen. I was ready, no, I am ready to walk away. Tonight. I wasn't expecting...well, never mind." Kurt shook his head as if trying to clear his thoughts. "I don't know why I'm willing to do this, but...I'll give you one more chance."

Oh my God, than..." Kurt didn't let him finish. He wouldn't be able to be strong if he let Blaine talk.

"Oh, don't thank me yet. It's not happening here, tonight." Blaine looked at him with a pained look, and Kurt just wanted to turn around and run away, but he knew he had to give them both this chance to have closure. "You are going to go home, take a shower, clean up your legs, and do some serious thinking."

"Kurt, I don't need time to thin..." Again, he was cut off by Kurt.

"Yes you do." He paused. "We both do." He said so quietly, Blaine almost missed it. Blaine felt the pain in his chest constrict again. What if Kurt didn't give him another chance? He tried to blink back the tears that were threatening, so he didn't upset Kurt, but was unsuccessful as the tears spilled down his cheeks.

Kurt reached over and brushed a tear away with his thumb, and both boys gasped at the shock they felt from just that small touch. Kurt pulled his hand back quickly and got up, brushing himself off, before looking down at Blaine. Even sitting in a dirty alley with tears running down his face, he'd never looked more beautiful to Kurt.

He wanted to avoid contact again, but ever the gentleman, he reached his hand down and offered it to Blaine. He had seen the shorter boy fall hard earlier, and knew his knees would be scraped up and sore from kneeling on the concrete for so long.

Blaine accepted, and once again, the contact sent sparks flying between the two boys. Blaine got up gingerly, with Kurt's help, and when Kurt tried to pull his hand away, he tightened his grip, not letting him.

"Kurt," he tried again, but the taller boy pulled his hand away and backed up.

"No Blaine. Listen, we do need to talk, but tonight we are both too raw. I'm going home, and so are you. Tomorrow, if you still want to talk, call me and we'll get together." The last sentence was said with such sadness, it made Blaine sick. He knew what Kurt was thinking. This was his signature. Say something to give Kurt hope, then ignore him for weeks at a time.

What Kurt didn't understand was that this time was going to be different. Blaine knew something had changed within him that night, and he would do whatever Kurt wanted to prove that. If that meant going home, like Kurt wanted, he would do just that.

So, Blaine nodded his head. "Ok, tomorrow then. Kurt, I..."

"Don't." Kurt said, slowly backing away, distancing himself already. "Tomorrow." He said softly and looked at Blaine for what he thought would be the last time, trying to memorize everything about him. Not that he would ever be able to forget.

He turned and walked away then, but heard Blaine call out to him one more time, "Tomorrow."


	10. Waiting at the Door

After Kurt disappeared around the corner, Blaine fell to his knees once again. He was emotionally and physically exhausted. He knew his bandmates were probably pissed that he had left, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

All he could think about, care about, was Kurt, and how he was going to make everything okay again. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he also knew that the thought of living his life without Kurt made him want to jump off the nearest bridge.

Hearing Kurt sing that song was a wake up call. He naively thought that Kurt would always be there. No matter how he treated him, and how many times he'd hurt him, he just thought he'd never lose Kurt. God had he been an idiot.

Maybe he should just let Kurt go. Blaine knew that he'd been a terrible friend to Kurt, and an even bigger douche when it came to leading Kurt to believe they could have more. Kurt deserved to be treated with respect, and Blaine had not been doing that.

And all that was over now. It was time for him to grow up and get his head out of his ass. He could be the person Kurt deserves. He knew, deep down, that he was that person. Unfortunately, the only time he let that person come out was with Kurt.

He'd always been Mr Popular, and he didn't want to lose that when he got to college, so he continued to pretend to be the cool guy. He fit in well with his classmates and even though they knew he was gay, it never seemed to be an issue. Until he started bringing Kurt around.

He and Kurt hung out a lot at Kurt's apartment, went to movies and met for coffee, but once he started including Kurt in his plans with his friends, things got complicated. It wasn't much, at first. His friends would seem cool, but after Kurt left, they would make little jabs about him. Blaine tried to ignore what his friends said, but it started making him act different around Kurt.

The only time he was completely honest with himself about his feelings was when he was drinking. His friends berated him constantly when he was drunk, because all he could talk about was Kurt. They started taking his phone away after he'd made a couple of drunk dial calls to Kurt.

He just wanted Kurt to know how he was feeling, and the only time he had the courage to do so was after he'd had a few drinks. Unfortunately, his stupid friends seemed to be everywhere and did everything they could to sabotage his relationship with Kurt.

Now, sitting in the alley lost in his thoughts, he realized how close he had come to losing everything. Honestly, he wasn't sure if he hadn't already lost it.

Blaine was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the back door open up, and was surprised when his friends surrounded him. He looked up at them from his place on the ground with red, swollen eyes and blinked. What the hell? Was he dreaming?

"Dude, what the fuck?" He heard, before he was being yanked to his feet. "We were supposed to start playing 20 minutes ago."

"Have you been out here this whole time?" Came another voice.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to get us fired?" Said yet another voice.

"Come on," the first voice said. "Let's get you cleaned up and back inside so we can finish our second set."

Blaine felt himself being led toward the door and he pulled back, startling his bandmates.

"Enough fucking around, B. Let's go."

"No." Blaine replied, looking at the ground.

"Seriously dude, this is getting ridiculous. Get your ass inside."

"No." Blaine responded, a little more forceful than before, eyes still fixed on the ground.

"Dammit Blaine. Is this about that fucking Kurt kid? We all heard the song, and frankly, it's about fucking time. Can he get any gayer? Good riddance, if you ask me."

Blaine's head shot up and his eyes finally locked with the source of the voice. "Fuck you, Brent."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I hit a sore spot?" Brent sneered.

"You are an asshole, you know that?" Blaine growled, a sudden burst of courage showing. "You all are. You know what, I'm out of here." He turned on his heel and started down the alley toward the street. "Oh, and I quit." He yelled over his shoulder.

Once he reached the street, he was smiling. He'd finally done it. He'd stood up to his idiot friends. Check that, ex-friends. He felt as though a weight had been lifted and everything was falling into place. Now he needed to go home and get cleaned up, because he had somewhere he needed to be.

After taking a long hot shower and cleaning up the cuts on his legs, he threw on a pair of loose fitting jeans and a t-shirt. It was 4:00am by the time he'd cleaned up, so he left his apartment and walked two blocks to an all night diner. He ordered a cup of coffee and two low-fat muffins to go.

Fifteen minutes later, he was seated outside Kurt's door, coffee in hand, bag of muffins on the floor between his knees. He leaned back against the wall and finally let himself relax. He sat his coffee down and rested his head back against the wall. He knew sitting outside Kurt's door seemed crazy, but he would not have been able to relax at home.

Sure, Kurt told him to go home and do some thinking. He'd done both. But the longer he stayed away from Kurt, the more his chest hurt. He knew Kurt thought he would run again, and he needed Kurt to know that he wasn't running ever again.

So he did the only thing he could do. He went to his apartment to wait. Kurt needed to see how serious he was. And just being close to him, even if there was a door separating them, made Blaine feel calmer. As he sat there letting his mind wander, his body finally allowed itself to relax, and he drifted off.

"Kurt, Kurt, wake up. Hey. Kurt. What happened last night?"

"Huh?" Came the muffled reply.

"Kurt, you need to get up. There's something you need to see." Rachel's voice was whispering urgently to him.

Kurt snuggled down further into his comforter. He'd been up most of the night, replaying everything that had happened with Blaine over and over in his mind. He'd finally cried himself to sleep around 5:00am, and he was exhausted.

"Leave me alone Rachel. 'M tired." He mumbled.

"No, I'm not leaving you alone," came the reply. "You need to get your butt up and come with me." She threw the comforter off her best friends head and grabbed his arm, forcing him into a seated position.

"Ugh, Rachel, what the hell? I had a freakin sucky night and I need to sleep." He tried to reach for the comforter, but Rachel was faster, yanking him up and out of bed.

"Rachel," he growled. "What has gotten into you?"

"Shhhh..." she said, stopping in front of the door. "Quit your diva-ing and just look."

She opened the front door quietly and pulled him forward. What he saw had him gasping for breath. Sitting outside his door, head leaned back against the wall, mouth open in sleep, was Blaine.

Rachel didn't speak, but raised her eyebrows in silent question, but Kurt didn't see. He only had eyes for Blaine. He took in his attire, different from last night, he realized. Beside him was a cup of coffee and a white bag, which he assumed contained the low-fat muffins he liked from that diner down the street.

His heart was beating so fast as he looked down at Blaine, sleeping in his hallway. He looked so beautiful. His eyes still a little swollen from last night, and his hair curly and still a little damp, obviously from a recent shower. The love he felt for this boy was not gone. And now, watching him sleep, looking so vulnerable, it seemed to have just doubled.

He was so lost in watching Blaine that he almost yelped when Rachel pulled him back inside and gently closed the door.

"What happened last night?" She whispered.

Kurt just looked at her, unable to speak, then looked back toward the door.

"Kurt..." she tried again.

"Not now, Rachel," he replied, finally regaining his speech. "I promise, I'll explain everything later." He whispered. "But first, I need to wake Blaine up and bring him inside."

"Ok, sure," she hesitantly agreed, leaving him by the door while she moved toward the kitchen.

Kurt took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping out into the hallway. He bent down, putting his hand gently on Blaine's shoulder so as not to startle him.

"Blaine," he said softly, and shook his shoulder a little.

Blaine woke with a jerk, he head snapping forward and he gasped. "Wha..." he said, eyes darting around, trying to acclimate himself. Finally, they came to rest on Kurt's face, and he let out a loud sigh. "Kurt."

Their eyes locked and neither breathed. The two sat there in the hallway, both thinking of the previous night, neither wanting to break the silence.

Kurt was the first one to cave, standing up and offering his hand to Blaine. When their hands met, the spark was almost visible, and both boys looked at each other, eyes wide.

They didn't speak, as Kurt led Blaine through the apartment and into his bedroom. He sat Blaine down on the end of the bed and moved to sit in his desk chair across the room, but Blaine refused to let go of Kurt's hand, making him sit beside him on the bed.

They sat on the bed, side by side, their hands clasped together, trying to figure out what was next. Finally, Kurt spoke up.

"Blaine, why were you sleeping in my hallway?" He asked, his voice serious, but with a joking undertone.

"Kurt, I..." Blaine started, but stopped, trying to gather his thoughts. He'd had an entire speech made up in his head, but sitting here, on Kurt's bed, holding his hand, was messing with his mind.

"Look Blaine, we do need to talk, but..." Kurt started, but was interrupted by Blaine.

"Stop." Blaine said, turning to face Kurt. He needed to look into Kurt's eyes when he spoke. He wanted Kurt to see how serious he was. "I did what you asked last night. I went home, cleaned up, and did some serious thinking. And all I could think about was the longer I was away from you, the more I felt like I was dying." He paused to gather his thoughts before continuing. "I know you thought I would disappear again, and I have to admit, I did think about it for a minute."

The look that crossed Kurt's face then had Blaine quickly explaining himself. "Only for a minute, and only because I thought that you deserved someone better than me. God Kurt, the way I've treated you..." A tear escaped his eye and slid down his face, and Kurt watched it's path as he waited for Blaine to continue. "I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. But I can tell you that I'm not that person anymore. I know it will take some time for me to prove that to you, but I promise I will do everything in my power to make you believe me."

Kurt looked like he wanted to speak, but Blaine squeezed his hand to stop him. "Please, let me finish," he said, looking into Kurt's eyes. Kurt nodded for him to continue. "Last night," his voice broke and he cleared his throat. "I know you were, are, ready to walk away, and I don't blame you.". The tears were now coming full force, and he did nothing to stop them. "But please, please, give me another chance. I...I quit the band."

"What?" Kurt asked in a surprised whisper.

"Those guys weren't my friends. If they were, they wouldn't have tried to keep me away from the best thing that has ever happened to me. God, I'm so sorry it took me so long to see that. I know I don't deserve it, or you, but can you at least think about it? I can't lose you. I lo..."

"Don't," Kurt interrupted. "Not now."

"Ok," Blaine replied sadly. "Just know that you mean the world to me. Really. And I am going to prove it to you. Starting now. Can I please hug you?"

Kurt nodded and was quickly enveloped in Blaine's arms. Warmth spread through them both and they sighed. It was like two pieces of a puzzle finally coming together. Nothing had ever felt so right.

They sat like that for a while, just enjoying the feel of each other. Blaine pulled back first, only moving a few inches away, his breath ghosting over Kurt's face.

"As much as I want to kiss you right now, and believe me, I really want to, I'm going to wait. You deserve to be wooed, and that's what I plan to do. So, if you'll let me, I'd like to take you out to breakfast."

Kurt couldn't move. Having Blaine in his arms again felt so right, and now, with them breathing the same air, he was unable to move, let alone string together a complete sentence. It was only when Blaine said his name again, that he was able to nod.

It was only when Blaine stood up and moved away that Kurt was able to clear his head. He needed a shower. Yes, that would help. He watched as Blaine opened his bedroom door, and immediately started to panic. He was leaving again.

Blaine noticed the scared look right away and turned to Kurt. "I'm just going to the kitchen to have some coffee while you shower. Didn't you hear me tell you that?" He cocked his head, waiting for Kurt's response.

"Oh, sorry. I must not have heard you. I'll just..." he pointed toward the bathroom, and Blaine smiled.

"I'll be waiting. Hurry," he said, throwing Kurt a wink over his shoulder as he closed the door.

Kurt's body tingled all over. Wow, if he can have that effect on him from just a wink, imagine how he would feel with Blaine's hands all over him. Ok, so Kurt had tried to get over Blaine, but in the mean time, he'd also gotten really horny. The date with Matt was the only interaction he'd had with a gay boy since the New Years he'd spent with Blaine.

His memories of that night got him though many a late night lying in bed, feeling lonely. He couldn't help but imagine he and Blaine doing a lot more than kissing, and he found that thinking of Blaine was the only thing that got him hard.

Now, standing in his room staring at the door that Blaine had just exited through, found him half hard. He shook his head and berated himself for allowing Blaine to have that effect on him. He stripped quickly and hopped in the shower, turning the water on a little colder than he normally had it.

Meanwhile, Blaine was making himself at home in the kitchen, pouring a cup of coffee, when Rachel sauntered in, not looking pleased.

"Why can't you just leave him alone?" She asked, her voice dripping with anger.

Blaine turned to face her, dreading having to explain himself, but knowing it was important. "Let's sit," he said, motioning toward the table.

"So, what are you trying to pull now? Sleeping in our hallway? Pulling out all the stops, aren't you?"

"Rachel, look. I know you don't like me very much."

"At all," she interrupted.

He ignored her and continued on. "Believe me, I don't like myself very much right now, but last night..." His voice cracked. God, he couldn't think about it without wanting to cry again. "Kurt sang me a goodbye song and...and, fuck." He wiped the tears away angrily and put his head on the table. He was not going to have another panic attack. Not now. Breathe, breathe.

Rachel was trying hard to hate Blaine. He'd hurt Kurt so many times and she was always the one picking up the pieces. But when he wasn't being his asshole self, when he was being sweet, dapper Blaine, she'd never seen Kurt happier. And now, watching Blaine literally breakdown at their kitchen table, she felt herself wanting to comfort him. He looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack, so she reached out and took his hand.

That simple action seemed to calm him down, and his breathing returned to normal. He looked up at her through tear filled eyes. He needed to explain everything to her. She was one of Kurt's best friends, and he wanted her to understand.

"I...I've been an idiot. I was so concerned with my stupid friends and the stupid band that I neglected the one person I could be myself with. Last night, when Kurt sang that song," again, he choked up. Dammit man, get it together. "Everything changed. I knew I was going to lose the only person that really mattered to me, and I couldn't let that happen. We sort of talked, and he agreed to give me one last chance, and I swear, I am not going to screw this up. I...God, I really love him, and I can't lose him. I can't imagine my life without him."

Rachel listened as Blaine poured his heart out, her hand still on his, giving him strength. She could see in his eyes that he was being completely honest, and it warmed her heart. But she still held back.

"Blaine, I want to trust you, I really do, but I can't let myself fully believe you, because if you screwed up this time, there will be no putting Kurt back together again."

The look of pain that passed through Blaine's face gave her pause. She saw fresh tears form in his eyes and she knew then that he had changed. Somehow, Kurt telling him goodbye through song was the wake up call that Blaine needed.

She started to say something else, but was stopped by Kurt's appearance. He'd taken the quickest shower in the history of Kurt Hummel, because he didn't want Blaine to be alone with Rachel any longer than necessary. He had actually been finished in enough time to hear what Blaine said to Rachel, and he felt a flutter in his heart. It was one thing for Blaine to tell him, but it was another to hear him telling Rachel how he felt.

"Hey, you ready." He said, breezing into the room, purposely halting their conversation.

"Yeah," Blaine said, getting up and taking his cup back into the kitchen and putting in the sink. "I'll see you later, Rachel. Thanks for listening." He offered his arm to Kurt and the two headed out for breakfast.


	11. Tough Conversations

After their breakfast, the two took a walk through the streets of New York, hand in hand, eventually ending up in Central Park. Kurt hadn't been back to the park since that night he'd confronted Blaine at the bar about New Year's Eve.

Blaine immediately sensed a change in Kurt, and pulled him to a park bench to sit. The cold seeped through their pants quickly and both boys shivered involuntarily.

"Blaine, it's cold, we should head back." Kurt said finally.

"In a minute. I want to know what just happened. When we walked into the park, you pulled away."

Kurt looked down at their hands and squeezed Blaine's, silently telling him he was wrong.

"Not physically, Kurt. Emotionally. I can feel it. What's wrong? Please talk to me." Blaine begged.

"I can't."

Suddenly it hit Blaine. "This is about me, isn't it?" He whispered, remorse evident in his voice. When Kurt nodded, Blaine's whole demeanor changed. His grip on Kurt's hands loosened, his shoulder's dropped, and he couldn't meet Kurt's eyes. The pain in his chest that had subsided throughout their time together this morning came back in full force, and he brought his free hand up to his heart, as if that could stop the hurt.

Kurt noticed this, and began to worry that Blaine was on the verge of another panic attack. No matter how much Blaine had hurt him, it pained him to see Blaine suffer, so he reached over and took Blaine's hand off his chest, holding both hands in his.

"Blaine," Kurt said, trying to get Blaine's attention. Nothing. "Blaine," he said more forcefully this time. "Look at me."

When Blaine looked up, there were tears on his face and he sniffed. "I-I'm so, so sorry Kurt. I w-wish I could g-go back and c-change everything. I-I can't believe I h-hurt you so bad." He broke eye contact and dropped his head again, not strong enough to see Kurt's pain.

Kurt was having none of it and used one hand to tilt Blaine's chin back up, forcing him to look at Kurt. "I know you are sorry, ok. But if we want to move on, we are going to have to face some tough conversations, and I don't want to worry every time that you are going to have another panic attack."

Blaine sobbed. "I-I'm sorry I'm so w-weak. I just can't believe I-I was so stupid for so long."

"Yes, but luckily, you wised up just in time," Kurt joked. This brought a small smile to Blaine's face. He took a deep breath to calm himself.

"So, now that I've had my minor breakdown, are you ready to tell me what you have against Central Park?"

"I will, but you have to promise me you won't break down again." Kurt watched a pained expression cross Blaine's face again, but he nodded his agreement, encouraging Kurt to continue. "This is where I ended up last year after our talk at the bar." Blaine's face showed no understanding, so Kurt went on. "When I confronted you after New Year's."

"Oh."

Oh.

Kurt was silent for a minute, then forged on. "I sat here for hours under that tree," he pointed. "I-I was devastated. You basically told me that the best night of my life had meant nothing to you, and I..." Kurt had to stop before he broke down. A tear began to escape, but before it had the chance, he was pulled into a tight hug.

Blaine pulled Kurt as close as possible, before just lifting him onto his lap. He held the taller boy, his hands gripping Kurt's back almost painfully, but Kurt took no notice. He burrowed his head into Blaine's neck and let the tears come. Blaine was rocking them and whispering softly to him. He even thought he'd felt Blaine kiss his hair a couple of times, but was too focused on Blaine's warmth to even care.

Finally, Blaine's voice became louder, urging Kurt to hear. "I was lying. Oh God, I'm so sorry. I was scared and weak and let my friends convince me that it was wrong. That night meant everything to me, baby. I swear. Being able to be with you all night, hold you and kiss you. It was everything I had dreamed of. But it also scared the shit out of me. I'd never felt that way before, and I was freaking out. Stupidly, I confided in my friends, and they convinced me that what I was feeling was guilt and regret. They told me not to call you back and to distance myself from you and it would all work out. So that's what I did. And I've hated myself every minute since then."

He tried to pull back from Kurt then, so he could look him in the eye and make sure he understood, but Kurt would not loosen his hold on him, so he just continued to hold him. He felt a vibration on his neck and realized Kurt was trying to say something, so he leaned back a little to allow Kurt room to speak.

"I want to believe you," came the timid voice. Those innocent words ripped a giant whole in Blaine's heart and he knew that he would never be able to hurt this beautiful boy ever again.

"Oh baby, I know I've said I'm sorry again and again, but I'll keep saying it until you see. You are the most important person in my life. Even when we weren't talking, I still thought about you everyday. I was just so arrogant and I thought that you would always be there, no matter how I treated you. I'm sorry to say that it wasn't until I heard you sing about saying goodbye that I truly understood how screwed up I was."

Blaine felt Kurt's breathing even out and knew he had settled down. He didn't want to lose the closeness they were sharing, but knew they had to move soon or they would be permanently attached to the frozen bench.

"Come on," Blaine said, pulling back slightly. "Why don't we go back to your place and watch a movie?"

"Ok."

Thirty minutes later, the two boys were huddled together on the couch, both sound asleep, a random Disney movie playing in the background. That's how Rachel found them when she returned home. She knew neither boy had slept the previous night, and with all the emotions involved, she wasn't surprised to find them like that.

What did surprise her was how they were laying. Blaine was leaning up against the corner of the couch, with Kurt splayed across his lap and chest, his head snuggled into the corner of Blaine's neck. Blaine's arm was wrapped securely around Kurt, as if trying to keep him from leaving, and their hands were intertwined and laying directly over Blaine's heart.

She really wanted to give Blaine the benefit of the doubt, but she still had her reservations. Of course, she'd do anything to see Kurt happy again, and if that meant giving Blaine another chance, she would do so. She grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and gently covered the two with it before slipping into her room.

When Kurt began to awaken, he realized two things...he was incredibly warm and all he could smell was Blaine. He assumed he was dreaming again and wanted nothing more than to hold onto this blissful feeling between sleep and consciousness, so he burrowed down further into the warmth.

It was the contented moan that brought him back to reality, because it hadn't come from him. He slowly opened his eyes and tried to pull back, but was held firmly in place by strong arms. It was then, he realized that his face was buried in someones neck. He breathed in deep and everything came back to him then. He was sleeping on Blaine. They must have fallen asleep watching the movie. Not surprising, considering neither boy slept much last night.

He felt Blaine take a deep breath and let out a contented sigh, before trying to pull back again. This time, he was allowed a small amount of room by his captor, whom he looked up at through sleep filled eyes. Blaine was looking down at him with the same dreamy look and a goofy grin on his face.

"Hey," Kurt said shyly.

"Hey," Blaine replied, leaning down to kiss Kurt on the forehead. "You must be magic. I haven't slept that well in months."

Kurt smiled. "Well of course I am, but you must have some powers as well, because despite sleeping half sitting up, I feel more rested than most mornings." Blaine's smile matched Kurt's at this simple confession.

They sat quietly for a moment, just basking in each others warmth, when Blaine began to shift uncomfortably under him. Kurt pulled back then with a somewhat panic look, which increased when Blaine avoided eye contact, and he quickly slid out from under Kurt's body. He mumbled something that Kurt didn't catch, and bolted down the hall.

Kurt sat on the couch, confused for a moment, before he realized where Blaine was. He didn't head for the exit, he ran to the bathroom. Kurt chuckled at first, then suddenly realized the reason Blaine had run for the bathroom. He'd woken up with a little problem and was embarrassed. He was still sitting there, smiling, when Blaine returned sheepishly.

"Sorry. Nature calls," he said quietly.

Kurt reached out his hand and pulled Blaine back down beside him on the couch. "It's ok. Nothing to be embarrassed about. It happens to all of us." Blaine blushed and shifted uncomfortably, before his stomach let out a loud rumble.

Kurt threw his head back and laughed, while Blaine's cheeks became an even darker shade of pink, causing Kurt to flush too, but for a different reason. Kurt shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. Too early for that, he told himself. Right. Like he hadn't been having those thoughts about Blaine for a long time.

There was another rumble, and this time, it was Kurt's stomach. He looked up at Blaine and smiled. "I guess sleeping through lunch has it's drawbacks," he joked, and Blaine smiled back, his embarrassment gone. "So, dinner?"

"Absolutely," he said, pulling Kurt up and toward the kitchen.

"You want to eat here," Kurt asked, surprised when Blaine headed toward the kitchen.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to make you something." Blaine looked down at his feet and back up. Kurt stared at him like he'd grown a second head. Here was Blaine, who was always so confident, who ran away from everything, in the middle of his kitchen, looking shy and wanting to cook Kurt dinner. Alright, where are the cameras? He must be being 'Punk'd' or something.

As he was having his inner dialogue, Blaine had taken his silence as a yes, and began opening cabinets and drawers, apparently looking for ingredients. When Blaine finally noticed that Kurt had not moved, he turned to him and said, "Hey, why don't you go watch a movie or something? I'll take care of everything."

"What, no, that's not necessary. I can help."

"I know you can, but I want to do this. For you. Please?" Blaine was giving him the puppy dog eyes, and he knew Kurt couldn't resist that. Damn him.

"Fine, I've actually got some sketches I need to finish, so I'll go work on those." He turned to leave, then stopped. "Are you sure you don't want my help?"

"Next time, I promise. I just want to do something special for you this time, ok?"

Kurt hummed his response, his mind filled with the promise of a next time. He'd always enjoyed cooking, and when he had pictured his future, he imagined sharing the kitchen with his husband, working side by side, laughing and singing while they cooked. Now all he could picture was he and Blaine in the kitchen together, and it scared him. He couldn't allow Blaine into his future fantasies again. Not yet.

So Kurt disappeared into his room to work on his sketches, leaving Blaine in the kitchen alone. Blaine was familiar enough with Kurt and Rachel's kitchen, having been to the apartment many times before over the past few years. Blaine shook his head. He wanted to create new memories for them, not dwell on the past, so he pulled out his ipod and slipped in his headphones and went to work.


	12. The Dinner Date

Forty minutes later, Blaine opened the oven and pulled out the garlic bread, placing it into a basket and covering it with a kitchen towel. He wasn't much of a cook, but he could make a mean spaghetti sauce. He'd wanted to make lasagna, but had to settle for angel hair, as it was the only pasta in the kitchen. The pasta was cooked, spaghetti sauce simmering, garlic bread done, and brownies in the oven.

Blaine had even found some candles and set the table, trying to make it a little romantic. He took out his headphones and placed his ipod in their speaker, putting on soft music, and stepped back to admire his work for a moment before heading into the bedroom to get Kurt.

He pushed the door open, (it had been cracked slightly), and knocked on the doorframe so as not to scare him. Kurt looked over his shoulder at Blaine and smiled.

"Ready?" Kurt asked.

"Yes," he replied, walking toward Kurt and offering his arm. "Your dinner awaits."

"Oooh, a handsome escort and a homemade dinner? How did I get so lucky?" He teased.

"I'm the lucky one," Blaine said seriously. "And I plan on showing you that every day."

As they walked into the room, Kurt gasped at the scene in front of him. The table was set, and wait, where did he find a table cloth? There were even candles and soft music in the background. Kurt was in shock. Who was this boy, and how had he done all this in less than an hour?

Blaine led Kurt to the table and held out his chair for him. Kurt looked confused before taking a seat. Blaine disappeared for a moment, then was back with a bottle of wine, pouring them each a glass. He sat the wine bottle on the table and took both the plates with him back into the kitchen. When he returned, the plates were filled with pasta covered in a sauce that smelled so divine, Kurt was salivating before Blaine even sat the plate down.

"Hmmm. It smells so good, Blaine. I didn't even know you could cook."

"Well, I hope it tastes as good as it smells. As for the cooking, I can make a few dishes, but I'm not an expert or anything." He reached for the basket, holding it out toward Kurt. "Garlic bread?"

"Wow, I didn't even know we had garlic bread. Thanks."

Blaine smiled shyly and looked down at his plate, before picking up his wine glass and holding it up slightly.

"Before we start, I'd like to make a toast of sorts." He looked at Kurt, who picked up his glass, as well, and nodded. "I just want to say how grateful I am that you've agreed to give me another chance. I promise I won't screw this up. To another chance." Blaine moved his glass toward Kurt's, waiting.

Kurt was so over-whelmed with everything that he could almost not breathe. It hadn't even been a day, and he already felt his feelings for Blaine become so strong it filled up his entire being. He wanted so badly to believe Blaine, but he was also so scared. His heart had been broken so many times by the very boy sitting in front of him, that he wasn't sure it could be put back together again.

Although, he could tell that Blaine was trying, and there was something different about him since last night. Kurt had never seen Blaine so raw, and it moved him. So much so, that he agreed to give Blaine another chance. One last chance.

Kurt leaned forward and lightly touched his glass to Blaine's and whispered, "Another chance."

After taking a sip of wine, Blaine dug into his pasta, all the while watching Kurt to gage his reaction. When Kurt took his first bite, Blaine held his breath and waited. Kurt closed his eyes right away and moaned. Oh my God, that sound should be illegal, thought Blaine. Wait, was that a good moan or a bad moan? Oh man, he'd put too much garlic in it. Shit.

"Oh. My. God. Blaine. This sauce is divine. Where did you learn how to make this?" He took another mouthful and closed his eyes again, savoring the taste.

Blaine was momentarily stunned. Kurt was enjoying his sauce. He did a little happy dance inside. He stopped eating in favor of watching Kurt eat. Every time he took a bite, he'd moan. Did he not realize what his moans were doing to Blaine? Seriously, now all he could think about was using his arm in a very dramatic fashion, pushing off all the plates onto the floor, and taking Kurt right then and there.

There was silence, and he realized then that Kurt was staring at him with a confused look, and he remembered that Kurt had asked him a question. What was it? His mind was hazy, watching Kurt's face as he ate. "Hmmm?" Was all he was able to get out.

Kurt stopped eating and put his fork down, his gaze piercing. "Blaine, are you listening?"

"Huh, oh yea. Sorry." Blaine looked down at his plate sheepishly. "What did you ask again?"

"Blaine, what's wrong?" Blaine looked up quickly when he heard Kurt's timid voice. Kurt thought Blaine was having second thoughts. The boy had no idea.

Blaine looked up, catching Kurt's eye and smiled softly. "I'm sorry. I promise I was not ignoring you, nor am I thinking about leaving." He saw a flicker of relief in Kurt's eyes, and continued. "It's just...well, you are really distracting."

Kurt's mouth fell open and his eyes widened. "What?"

"Not...not in a bad way. It's just...ugh, how do I explain this without sounding like a freak?" Blaine sighed, the food almost forgotten on the table.

"Just tell me, please. It can't be worse than what I'm imagining."

Blaine caught Kurt's gaze again, his face showing vulnerability, and he saw Kurt relax a little. "It's the sounds you were making..."

"What sounds?" Kurt asked, completely confused.

"The moans. Oh God, I'm sorry. Here I am, trying to be such a gentleman and do something sweet and you sit there moaning with every bite, and I..." He sighed, then took a deep breath before continuing. "I was imagining other ways I could make you moan like that. Ugh." He dropped his head then, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

Kurt was silent, and Blaine began to worry. That's it. He'd screwed everything up. Now Kurt was going to kick him out and tell him to never come back. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

The silence was killing him and he ventured a peek at Kurt through the space between his fingers. What he saw floored him. Kurt was staring straight ahead, eyes glazed over, lips parted, and a faint hint of pink on his cheeks. Was Kurt thinking about what Blaine had said? Was he imagining the same things?

Before either boy could say anything, Kurt settled his gaze on Blaine again, and Blaine was blown away by the look in Kurt's eyes. They were bluer than he'd ever seen them, and Blaine was sure it was desire he saw.

"Kurt..." he whispered, and was making a move to stand when the front door opened.

Rachel breezed in, unaware of the moment she had interrupted. She put her bag down and stopped, finally noticing the scene in front of her. She took in the candles, wine glasses and food and realized she'd just walked in on a romantic dinner.

"Oh my. I'm sorry guys, I didn't know you were..." she moved her hand in lieu of words.

The moment between the boys gone, Blaine was the first to recover, standing and offering Rachel a seat.

"It's fine, Rachel," he said. "I just made dinner. You are welcome to join us. There's plenty." Always the gentlemen, but inside he was saying, please don't, please don't.

"That's sweet, Blaine, thanks, but I'll just head back into my room and let you two eat." She was already headed down the hall before either boy could answer.

Blaine sat back down, his shoulder slumping. This was not working out like he'd planned. Why did he have to mess everything up? As he was worrying about the mess he'd made of dinner, the oven dinged, letting him know the brownies were finished. He got up without a word, avoiding Kurt's gaze, and walked to the oven, extracting the brownies.

Once he placed them on the stove top, he jumped when he felt two arms encircle him from behind. Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder as Blaine hesitantly brought his hands up to entwine his finger with Kurt's resting on his stomach.

"Thank you." He felt as much as heard Kurt's whisper. "Dinner has been wonderful. Now, let's get back to it before it gets too cold, ok?"

Blaine nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Kurt stepped back from Blaine, removing his arms from his waist, but keeping their hands together, and walked them both back to the table.

They sat back down and began to eat, and after a few moments of awkward silence, the conversation started, and they talked and ate and enjoyed each others company. When they were finished, Blaine cleared the table, not allowing Kurt to help, and rinsed the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. He cut the brownies, now the perfect temperature, and got some ice cream out of the freezer, adding a scoop to the top of each brownie, before adding sprinkles.

When Blaine returned with their dessert, Kurt was smiling and teased, "Are you trying to make me fat?"

Blaine chuckled. "Nope, just trying to spoil you a little. Everyone deserves a treat every now and then." As he placed the brownie sundae in front of Kurt, he leaned down and placed a quick kiss on Kurt's forehead. Kurt flushed, but said nothing. He could definitely get used to this side of Blaine.


	13. Trying Too Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I apologize for this in advance. I thought things were going well and were going to get wrapped up soon, but apparently that's not what happened. I had no idea this was coming until it was written, so now it looks like this fic will be at least another 4-5 chapters, if not more. I really hadn't planned on it being more than 10 or 12, but it went in a different direction.
> 
> It's more angsty than I planned and I apologize for that, but eventually there will be a happy ending. That's the plan anyway...
> 
> Thanks for hanging in there with me!

After their sort of romantic dinner, the two boys ended up on the couch, sitting cross legged on opposite cushions, facing each other. Even though there was space between them, Blaine had reached out right away and caught Kurt's hand. He wanted to take things slow, but he also wanted to always be touching Kurt.

Their conversation consisted mostly of their finals, or in Kurt's case, his lack there of. He'd gotten lucky and tested out of most of the finals, and only had one project to turn in before Christmas break.

Blaine, on the other hand, had three finals, one being the next afternoon, and two the following day. He knew he should be thinking about going home and studying, but he couldn't bring himself to leave.

Kurt sensed Blaine's hesitancy. Never one to hold back, Kurt decided to find out. "Blaine, you really should head home and study. Don't you have your Music Theory final tomorrow?"

"Yeah," he replied, sliding his fingers back and forth between Kurt's, enjoying the smoothness of the other boys hands. "Not till the afternoon, though, so I'm good."

"Well, even though I don't have any actual finals to take," he smiled at that fact, "I'm still pretty tired."

Blaine looked up at Kurt then with a sad expression. "But we took a nap today." He said, his bottom lip coming out a little.

"Yes, and while it was wonderful at the time, we both need to get some uninterrupted sleep tonight."

"I know, but can't we just sit together and watch a movie first? I'm not ready to go home just yet."

Kurt knew the was stalling. "Why don't you want to leave, Blaine? Are you scared?" Blaine nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Kurt's face was the picture of resignation. "You don't think you'll come back, do you?" He asked in a quiet voice.

"What? Oh God, no." Blaine said, shaking his head. "I-I'm afraid that you'll come to your senses and realize you were stupid to give me another chance." Blaine avoided Kurt's gaze, instead choosing to look down at the couch.

But Kurt was having none of it, and reached his hand over to cup Blaine's chin, forcing him to look at Kurt. "Blaine, listen, I know these last 24 hours have been...interesting to say the least, and honestly, last night I was ready to walk away. But with everything that has happened since then, I've put that thought on hold...for now."

Blaine's eyes filled with tears and he whispered, "Really?"

"Yes, really. I said I was willing to give you another chance, and I am. So unless you do something really stupid, like not calling me tomorrow, then I promise you'll have that second chance."

Blaine lunged forward then launching himself at an unsuspecting Kurt, who toppled backward over the arm of the couch with a high pitched scream, taking the shorter boy with him. Blaine landed on Kurt with an umph, and the two boys began laughing hysterically.

Once they got their laughter under control, Blaine removed himself from Kurt and reached down to help the taller boy up, pulling him immediately into a hug.

"Thank you," Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear. The two enjoyed the closeness for another few seconds, before Blaine pulled away, but not before placing a soft kiss on Kurt's cheek. "Even with everything, I had a really good time today. I love spending time with you." His voice was soft and trembled a little.

Kurt smiled. "Me too. Now, come on," he took Blaine's hand and led him to the door. "You have some studying to do." As they approached the door, Kurt pulled Blaine into another hug, this one lasting only a few seconds, but just as meaningful. "Goodnight."

Blaine realized right away that Kurt had not said goodbye or I'll see you tomorrow. This saddened him, so he said, "I'll talk to you after my exam, ok?" Kurt avoided Blaine's eyes as he opened the door, but Blaine didn't leave, instead moving in front of Kurt. "I promise."

Kurt looked up then, tears shining in his blue eyes. Blaine felt as though a dagger had been thrust into his heart. He knew he was the cause of all Kurt's pain and sadness, and he planned to do anything and everything to make it up the this beautiful boy.

When Kurt didn't respond, Blaine cupped his cheek and brushed away a stray tear. "I promise." Kurt heard the sincerity in his voice and saw the determination in the hazel eyes looking back at him.

"Ok," Kurt finally answered, before Blaine turned and walked away. Kurt did nothing to stop the tears running freely down his cheeks, hoping and praying to a God he didn't even believe in that Blaine wasn't lying.

Twenty minutes later, Kurt is just finishing up his extensive moisturizing routine when his phone buzzed. Kurt grabbed it, expecting a text from his dad, but was pleasantly surprised to see it was from Blaine.

'I miss you.' -B

'You just saw me.' -K

'I know, but I still miss you.' -B

'Stop trying so hard.' -K

Silence.

Kurt was afraid he'd said the wrong thing. It was a knee-jerk reaction and he was regretting it now. He waited for a few more minutes, before sending another text.

'I'm sorry. I get bitchy when I'm tired.' -K

Kurt stared at his phone, waiting for a reply, but none came. He was contemplating banging his head against the nearest wall when his phone rang, startling him. He knew it was Blaine, and he answered, his hands shaking.

"H-hello."

"I'm sorry," came the soft reply. It was obvious from the hoarseness in his voice that Blaine had been crying.

"No Blaine, I'm sorry. I'm just not sure how to handle this." Kurt admitted.

"What, me?" Blaine asked, afraid to hear the answer.

"Yes...no, I don't know." He threw himself back on the bed and sighed in frustration. "I really want to believe you, but I'm having such a hard time allowing myself to trust you." He paused to collect this thoughts. Blaine sensed he wasn't finished and waited silently, sniffling once or twice. "I'm trying to protect my heart, and in doing so, I become a bitch. It makes things easier."

Blaine didn't comment right away, but Kurt could hear him in the background trying to compose himself enough to speak. "I understand, and I'm so, so sorry." Blaine tried to hold in a sob, but wasn't successful. "I-I'm just trying to be honest and let you know everything I'm feeling, when I'm feeling it. I want you to see that I'm serious."

"I do, but it's still going to take some time."

"I know."

The two were silent for several minutes, allowing each boy to peruse their own thoughts.

"Blaine," Kurt finally said. "I'm really sorry for saying you were trying too hard. I really do want to know what you are feeling. It's just hard for me to believe that you can possibly miss me after just seeing me."

"Well, after what happened last night, and being able to spend the whole day with you, I just sort of got used to having you around." He paused for a moment before adding hesitantly, "Don't you miss me?"

"Yes," he said, turning over onto his side and tucking the phone into his neck. "But I've also gotten really good at pushing those feelings down and hiding them away."

Blaine's heart was breaking because it had been him that caused all this turmoil and pain in Kurt. He really didn't deserve this wonderful, forgiving boy. His voice was shaking as he said, "God, Kurt, I am so sorry. I pushed those feelings down too, but for the wrong reasons. And now, look what I've done. I-I really don't deserve you."

Kurt was quiet for a moment, debating if he should be brutally honest, and decided that he needed to be, for both of them. "It's true that you didn't, and I'm reserving judgement on whether you do now, but I see that you are trying, and I'm willing to take a chance on you."

Blaine let out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding, and tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a sob. "Thank you. I know I've said it over and over, but I am sorry. I swear, I'm a good guy and I'm going to do everything I can to show you how much you mean to me. I'm going to prove to you and myself that I do deserve you. And you may see some things as trying too hard, but I just want to make sure you know how serious I am and that I want you to know how important you are to me." He paused, then added, "So, prepare yourself, because I might go a little overboard, but you are worth it."

Kurt felt the tears start sometime in the middle of Blaine's speech, and did nothing to stop them. After Blaine's last thought, Kurt chuckled. It was crazy how many emotions he had felt in such a short span of time. And all because of Blaine. Sure, not all of them were good. Ok, if he's being honest, most of them weren't. But he couldn't deny that even the hard to deal with emotions were so much stronger, because they involved Blaine.

He knew giving Blaine a second, oh who was he kidding, more like a twentieth, chance was probably not a good idea. He was probably setting himself up for more heartbreak, but he just couldn't say no. With all the emotions Blaine conjured up in him, love was the most powerful. He'd been in love with Blaine since their freshman year. It might not have been love at first sight, but after spending time with him, before all the stupid 'friends' got involved, it had been magical.

And deep down, he knew Blaine had feelings for him. There was no way he could fake the emotion he put into their kisses. And it was remembering this that allowed him to give Blaine this last chance. He knew he was opening himself up for a world of hurt, but he couldn't help it. Even if the chance of this working out was so small, having Blaine's love was worth the risk.

"K-Kurt," Blaine said, his voice held a nervous quiver.

"Huh," Kurt said, startled. Oh man, Blaine sounded scared. Shit, he'd gotten lost in his mind again. "I'm sorry, Blaine. I was just thinking."

"Oh."

Kurt smiled a little. He kind of liked seeing, or in this case hearing, the vulnerable side of Blaine. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad." He contemplated just leaving it at that, but changed his mind. "I'm just...Today was wonderful, but I'm still struggling."

"With what?" Blaine's voice was soft and vulnerable.

"Trying to decide if giving you another chance is worth the risk."

There was no response, but Kurt heard a heart wrenching sob through the phone, and knew he'd made the right choice. Kurt realized that he would always be worth the risk, because Blaine owned his heart and had for a while. Kurt wondered for a moment if Blaine had hung up until he heard a sniffle, then a mumble, "You promised."

"Promised what?" Kurt asked, confused.

"Before I left tonight, you promised you'd give me a second chance. Please, don't change your mind. I - I need you." The last three words were choked out, but Kurt heard them.

"Blaine, I'm not changing my mind. I'm just trying to protect myself from being hurt again."

D-do you really think I'll hurt you again?" The question was a mere whisper.

"Honestly, I don't know."

Blaine let out a half laugh, half sob. He knew he'd hurt Kurt, but hearing him say he still thought Blaine would hurt him was a wake up call. The day they had spent had been so nice, he thought Kurt was beginning to see how sincere he was. It was going to take a lot of work to get Kurt's trust back. And he was willing to do anything.

"Ok." Blaine said after calming his emotions. "Thanks for being honest."

"Blaine, I..." Kurt tried, but Blaine interrupted.

"Don't. It's ok. I get it. Listen, I really do need to study, so I'll talk to you tomorrow, ok?"

"Blaine." Kurt didn't know what to say, but felt like he'd screwed up somehow. God, this was so frustrating. They both were so vulnerable and everything they said, even though it needed to be said, still hurt. "I'm sorry."

"No." Blaine said forcefully. "You have nothing to be sorry for. If this is going to work, we both need to be completely honest with each other. I knew I'd hurt you, but I'm beginning to understand, with your help, how much damage I'd really done. It's not an easy thing to face, and I'm sorry that I'm so emotional, but I've never had feelings this intense and I have no idea how to deal with them. I think...Oh God, please don't be mad, ok, or take this the wrong way...but I think I need a couple of days."

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked hesitantly, not fully understanding what Blaine was saying.

"You were right before when you said this was going to take time and also that I was trying too hard. You aren't going to forgive me overnight, and I guess I thought that the best way to show you how serious I am was to be with you every single second." He paused, waiting to see if Kurt wanted to speak. When he only heard silence, he continued. "I realize that is not the best way, but I really don't know where to go from here, so I'm asking you to be patient with me for a couple of days."

He heard Kurt's quick intake of breath over the phone, and quickly continued. "I'm not disappearing without a trace, ok? I still plan to call and text, but I think I need a couple of days to figure out how to make this better. To show you how serious I am, but when I'm with you I just want to touch you and hold you close. Neither one of us need that right now. Don't get me wrong, today was incredible and it was just what we needed, but if we want to build a real relationship, we can't jump in too fast. Plus, I've been so screwed up for so long, I need to take a step back and take a good, long look at my life." Kurt still had yet to speak, so Blaine asked, "When are you heading home for Christmas?"

"Thursday," came the shaky reply.

"Kurt, please don't take this as a bad thing, ok? It's really not. I -I know what I want, and that's you in my life. I just need to figure out how to have you in my life without hurting you more. God, I don't feel like I'm making any sense." He said, clearly frustrated. "Please say you understand. I promise, I'm not going to shut you out. You'll probably get so many texts from me, you'll want to change your number." He chuckled a little, knowing humor always helped.

He heard Kurt huff out a breath, which he took as an attempt at a laugh. "I, uh..." He cleared his throat, and Blaine was sure that Kurt had been crying. He felt his heart clinch at the thought. Would he ever be able to stop making this amazing boy cry? He was ready to take it all back when Kurt spoke. "I understand what you are saying, and even though I'm worried and still not one hundred percent sure you won't vanish again, I did promise to give you another chance, so I guess I'll have to trust you." Kurt tried to cover it up, but Blaine heard his voice crack on the word trust.

"I know my promises don't mean much right now, but I am going to do everything in my power to show you that you can trust me." Blaine spoke with such intensity, Kurt found himself believing him. "Now, I do have to study for my final tomorrow, and you need your beauty sleep." He heard Kurt chuckle at that and knew they were ok for now. "I'll text you tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok. Night Blaine."

"Goodnight Kurt."


	14. Jumping to Conclusions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to say there is some more angst headed your way. I promise things will work out, but it's never easy for our boys! Thanks for hanging in there with me!

The next morning Kurt was up early and reached for his phone automatically, checking for any messages. There were none. He tried not to be too disappointed by this, but wasn't able to squash the feeling that he'd messed up last night. He really tried to understand Blaine's reasoning of not seeing each other for a few days, but he couldn't help but think it was just Blaine's way of running away again.

And now, here he was, obsessively checking his phone every few minutes to see if Blaine had texted him like he promised the previous evening. So Kurt puttered around the apartment, making coffee, trying to read the paper, then finally going in to take a shower. All in all, he'd only killed an hour of time, but with each passing moment, he was getting more and more worried at the radio silence he was getting.

With every moment that passed with no contact, Kurt became more and more angry. How could he have been so stupid? Letting Blaine back into his life, into his heart? He swore he wasn't going to do this again, yet here he was, still waiting. That's when Kurt decided he was done moping. If Blaine didn't want to contact him, then fine. He turned off his phone then and left the apartment to get some air.

When Kurt was feeling down, he loved to wander the streets of the city, occasionally stopping in random shops that caught his eye and discovering new places to get coffee. That is how he found himself at a random coffee shop hours later, realizing he was hungry, as well as thirsty. He was surprised when he realized it was already two in the afternoon.

Then he remembered he was supposed to have lunch with Rachel today. Shit, he mumbled under his breath after realizing he'd turned off his phone. When the screen finally came on, it lit up with message after message, the device vibrating over and over as the messages loaded.

He decided to forgo the messages to call Rachel. She was probably freaking out right now. Yep.

"Oh my God, Kurt. Where are you? We've been worried sick! Are you ok? Did something happen? Why haven't you been answering your phone? Did..."

"Rachel, slow down." Kurt said, finally interrupting the frantic ramblings of his roommate. He heard her take a couple of shaky breaths before speaking again. "I'm fine. I just took one of my contemplating walks. I turned my phone off before I left and forgot about it, and then just lost track of time."

"God, Kurt. How many times have I told you that you can't just turn your phone off like that. Nobody has been able to get ahold of you and..." she let out a small sob, making his stomach drop.

"Rachel, I'm so sorry you were worried, but I'm really fine." His voice betrayed him, though.

"Ok, please explain to me why you felt like you needed to take one of your contemplating walks, and why in the hell you thought it was a good idea for you to turn off your phone?" Now she was angry. "You usually only take those walks when Blaine ignored you, and I know for a fact that's not the case this time."

"Rachel," he sighed. Then he realized what she had said and his head snapped up. "What do you mean you know that's not the case this time?" He asked, gripping the phone tightly.

"Well, considering he's been here with me, and is just as worried about you as I am..."

"WHAT? What do you mean he's there? It's after two. He is supposed to be taking his final right now." Kurt was practically yelling now, garnering him looks from other customers sitting near him in the small coffee shop.

"Well, when I couldn't get ahold of you, I called him. Woke him up, actually. Apparently he'd been up all night studying, so it was a good thing I called, but when I asked him if he'd talked to you and he said not since last night, I really became worried. I tried to downplay it, but he could tell something wasn't right, so he called his professor and rescheduled his exam. Then he came over here." She paused for a minute to let this sink in. "We've been calling and texting you for hours, Kurt." Her voice was suddenly soft and vulnerable again. "He even went to your favorite shops in the area to look for you, and would text me with updates."

Kurt's stomach dropped and he felt like the lowest person on the planet. If he'd just given Blaine a little time, and not jumped to conclusions they wouldn't be in this mess. He knew he was going to have to start trusting Blaine, but how could he get over his fear that Blaine was going to just keep leaving him? And now he was missing his final because he was worried and had been out running around trying to find him. God, he was an idiot.

"C-can I talk to him, Rach?" He asked, his voice shaky.

"He's not actually here right now. Shit, I need to text him and tell him I found you. Hold on." He heard movement and knew she was exiting the phone screen and texting Blaine. While he waited for her to return to the call, he got up from his seat, throwing his now bitter tasting coffee away and began the long walk home. "Sorry about that. Where are you?"

"What?" Kurt asked, surprised at the question.

"Blaine. He wants to know where you are."

"Oh, I'm on my way back home now. Should be there in about fifteen minutes, I think. I'll keep my phone on now, ok?" Kurt said, trying to make her feel better.

"That's good, but where exactly are you?" She asked again.

"I don't know." He paused for a moment and looked up at the signs. "I'm on 23rd and Park. Like I said, it will probably take me about fifteen minutes to so before I'm back. Look Rachel, I really am sorry." He said sincerely.

"I know you are, but you can't let this happen again. We were worried sick. I was ready to call your dad." Rachel admitted.

"Oh God, that would have been bad. I promise, no more turning off my phone, no matter how upset I am."

"Why were you upset? What prompted this disappearance, anyway? Was it Blaine again? Because you should have seen him. He was frantic. I've never seen him lose his cool like that. He's usually so calm."

"No, it wasn't Blaine. At least, not really. It was me. I'm an idiot." He sighed. "I'm just having a hard time believing him, Rach. He told me he won't disappear this time, but how can I believe him? He's done it so many times in the past, and I just keep letting it happen. So when I didn't hear from him this morning..."

"You figured he was pulling his old disappearing act and got mad." She finished for him.

"Yes, and it was stupid. I see that now. I mean, he actually told me that he'd text me after his exam, not before, but I was just hoping, especially after last night that he would text me this morning. It was a stupid, knee jerk reaction and now I feel like dirt."

"Kurt, believe me, when I saw Blaine sleeping outside our door the other night, I was confused and honestly, a little angry. After all the times he's hurt you, he show's up literally on our doorstep, and I just wanted to kick him to the curb." She paused, and he heard her move the phone and type something, before she was back. "But I see a difference in him, Kurt. After I talked to him, I was still unsure, but I can see a sincerity in him this time. And today, I've never seen him so lost. His eyes, Kurt. The hurt and worry in his eyes...it was intense. I'm glad you are giving him another chance."

Kurt smiled at this. He was so worried about how his friends would react to him giving Blaine yet another chance, especially Rachel and Mercedes, who helped him through the roughest times. So hearing Rachel give her blessing meant the world to him.

He let his thoughts drift as he dodged the people around him, and of course, they drifted to Blaine. He couldn't believe he'd missed his final to help Rachel look for him. He wanted to be angry with the older boy, but he couldn't. He was actually touched that he would give up something that important for him. He wasn't used to that feeling. Especially from Blaine.

"Kurt, are you still there?" Rachel asked, bringing him out of his thougts.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Just got lost in thought. I'd better go, Rach. It's hard to navigate through the sea of people while on the phone." He said exasperated.

"Sure. I'll see you at home soon, right?"

"Yes, soon. Bye." He hung up and slid his phone back into his pocket without looking down. He needed to keep his eyes on the people, so he didn't get lost in the sea of bodies.

He had walked another couple blocks, bringing him within five minutes of the apartment when he thought he saw a flash of curls in the crowd. He scanned the people around him, wondering if it had been his imagination, when he was hit with such force it took his breath away. He was scared for a moment, until he realized the person that ran into him was currently wrapped around him and nuzzling his neck.

Blaine.

He felt like his entire body stopped functioning. He couldn't breath, he was sure his heart stopped beating, and his limbs were frozen at his side. Then he heard Blaine's tortured voice chanting his name like a prayer. It was the voice that brought him back to himself and he slid his arms around Blaine while simultaneously taking a step to the side, so they were out of the line of traffic.

He allowed them both a minute to just enjoy the feel of each other, before pulling back and and trying to look at the shorter boy still in his arms. Blaine didn't seem to be loosening his hold so Kurt leaned back a little but Blaine was having none of it. He just kept his face buried in Kurt's neck and kept mumbling about how worried he was and how he was sorry he'd ever made Kurt feel like this. It was then he realized there was a wetness there, and Kurt broke.

"I'm so sorry Blaine. I didn't mean to make you worry." He'd started crying by now, and was having a hard time continuing.

He heard Blaine, though. "When Rachel called and asked if I had heard from you. Oh God, I was so scared. I called and texted you over and over. Here I was, sleeping and you were God knows where..." He felt Blaine's body quiver and the hot breath on his neck gave him his own chills, but for a different reason. Stop that. You are standing in the middle of the street in New York City wrapped up in the arms of the boy you love who is crying because of you and you are thinking about how good that warm breath feels on your skin. You are sick.

Kurt again tried to extract himself from Blaine's arms with no luck, so he began talking again. "I can't believe you missed your final, though. What were you thinking?"

That did it. Blaine released him a took a step back, anger flickering in his eyes, still damp from the recent tears. He knew he should be focused on what Blaine was saying, but all he could think about was how fucking hot Blaine looked like that.

"What was I thinking? What was I thinking?" Blaine took a step toward him and even with the height difference, he was menacing. Kurt stepped backward and collided with a wall, but Blaine didn't stop. He got right in Kurt's face, and Kurt could feel his warm breath on his lips this time, and he shivered. "What the hell were you thinking Kurt? Turning off your phone and disappearing without a trace? Rachel and I were so worried. We had no idea where you were or what had happened to you. At first, I thought you might have been upset with me about last night, but..."

Blaine didn't miss the guilty look that crossed Kurt's face and he stepped back once again, a bewildered look on his face. "That's it, isn't it? This was because of me. Jesus Kurt. All this worry because you were afraid I was going to ignore you again? So you thought you'd beat me to the punch? Fuck!" He turned then and began pacing back and forth. Kurt stood stock still, watching Blaine, not sure how to react.

"I really fucked you up bad, didn't I?" He said finally, shaking his head in despair.

"No, Blaine, I..."

Blaine looked up at Kurt then, his eyes full of hurt and sadness, but still holding a bit of anger. "Don't." He said, holding up his hand. "I-I can't deal with this right now." Kurt stayed silent as Blaine began to pace back and forth in front of him. "Look Kurt," he said, turning to address him again. "I'm so glad you are ok." He said, and Kurt heard a hint of worry left over. "But I was right last night. I...We both need some time to figure things out."

Kurt's eyes widened and filled with tears. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, so he just stared at Blaine, mouth open, waiting.

"Don't take this as a bad thing, ok?" Blaine continued. "I need to come to terms with how much I hurt you, and you..." He stopped, almost afraid to finish. "You need to decide if you are really willing to give me another chance." He turned away then, not wanting Kurt to see the anguish in his face at the thought of Kurt changing his mind.

"Blaine, I told you, promised you, remember?" Kurt said, finally getting his voice.

"I remember," Blaine said, still not turning to face his friend. "You say you want to, but today showed me that you might not be able to."

"Today was just me making a stupid mistake." Kurt said forcefully.

"No, it was you doubting me and my sincerity. It showed me that you don't have faith in me, and I don't blame you. I certainly don't have the best track record, and I have no idea how to move forward."

He finally turned around to face Kurt, and the sight took Kurt's breath away. All Blaine's emotions were written on his face, the sadness, the hurt, the guilt, the worry. He heart broke, knowing he was the cause and he stepped forward with an overwhelming urge to hold him, but the shorter boy stepped back, shaking his head.

"Don't. I can't. Please understand. I just need some time. I'm not going radio silent, and you shouldn't either. If you want me, just text me. I promise to get back to you as soon as possible. But please," his voice begging, "Don't assume the worst. Please." Kurt nodded, unable to speak. "I really have to go. Are you ok to make it back by yourself?" The taller boy cocked his head, as if to say, really? That move almost made Blaine smile, almost. "Keep your phone on, and I'll talk to you later, ok?"

Kurt looked ready to speak again, but Blaine just shook his head before turning around and walking away.


	15. It's All About Trust

As soon as he was out of Kurt's sight, he pulled his phone out and called Rachel.

"Blaine." She said as a form of greeting. "Did you find him?"

"Hey Rachel. Yes, I did." Was all he said.

"What's wrong?" She asked, worried.

"Nothing. He's on his way back now."

"Why aren't you with him?" She asked, wondering what had happened between the two boys in the last 10 minutes.

"He needs time and I'm giving it to him." The sadness was evident in his tone.

"Time for what?"

"Time to decide if he can give me another chance."

"He's already told you he would. What's this really about?" She asked, confused.

"I really fucked him up, Rachel, and I'm not sure if he can open himself up to me again."

"He loves you Blaine. He wouldn't have put up with you all these years if he didn't."

Blaine laughed hollowly. "But what if I've messed up too badly? He doesn't trust me. At all. And I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to earn that trust back."

"You will. And you are certainly on the right track. The flowers today were a thoughtful."

"Yeah," he chuckled darkly. "I ordered them last night. Funny, huh? Now he'll just think I did it to make what happened today better. As if anything could."

"Blaine, that's not true."

"Yes, it is. And you know what else? I don't deserve another chance. Today proved that." He let out a sob so heartbreaking that she wanted to reach through the phone and hold him.

"Blaine, please." She tried, but he couldn't hear her through his crying, so she waited until he quieted down. "Blaine?"

He sniffled and answered with a soft "Yes?"

"What today showed me is how much Kurt means to you. I haven't been your biggest fan these last few years, but the changes I've seen in you just in the last few days have proven to me that you really do care about Kurt."

"I love him, Rachel. God, how could I not have seen that before? I love being with him and my hands ache to touch him whenever he's near. My heart feels like it's going to leap out of my chest when he speaks, and don't even get me started on him singing." He paused and took a deep breath. "He's such an amazing person and I've hurt him so bad. How can we move on from that?" He hiccuped, holding back another sob.

Rachel's heart went out to him. She knew how much he'd hurt Kurt in the past, but she could also tell that this boy was just as broken by everything as Kurt was.

"You need to talk to him. Tell him everything you just told me. He doesn't need grand gestures, just little things that show him you are serious about sticking around this time."

It was quiet for a moment, then Blaine burst out, "That's it! Thank you Rachel, I know exactly what to do now. It's perfect." She could swear he was smiling through the phone. "Seriously Rachel," his voice held complete sincerity, "I really can't thank you enough."

"Just make my boy happy. That's all the thanks I need."

"I promise." He said, before saying goodbye and disconnecting their call.

The next two days passed slowly for Kurt. He'd been surprised with the flowers and the sentiment on the card, "Thank you for giving me another chance. I promise I won't let you down again." It was a sweet gesture, but it hurt to look at them, because it reminded him of how he was the one that screwed up this time. He made things harder than they had to be. And now, he was hurt and confused and had no idea what to think.

He had received hourly texts from Blaine, usually just short messages.

'Just checking in.'

'I hate finals.'

'Getting coffee at your favorite place. Thinking of you.'

'It's a beautiful day. You should go for a walk.'

'I'll miss you over Christmas.'

'I need your beautiful smile to light up this dreary day.'

And his favorite yet, 'The color of the sky today reminds me of your eyes. It feels like you are everywhere, watching over me.'

He usually sent back one line responses, but it felt so forced. He really needed to talk to Blaine, but after their last conversation, he felt like he needed to give him some time, so he just waited.

On Thursday, he turned in his final Fashion paper early and spend the rest of the morning packing. Rachel was flying home with him, so they had a conversation through the curtains as they packed, talking about going home and seeing family and how excited they both were for the holidays.

Kurt was excited, he really was, but this last week had been one of the most emotional weeks of his life and he was just so tired. He couldn't wait to go home and curl up in his old room and forget for a while.

Kurt had refused to talk to Rachel about Blaine, avoiding her as much as possible at the apartment, but on the plane, he had no where to go, so she decided that was her best chance to get him to open up.

They made small talk at first, but after the stewardess gave them their drinks, she turned to Kurt and said, "Ok, there's no escape now. It's time you tell me where you head is."

Kurt tried to act like he didn't know what she was talking about, giving her a confused look, to no avail.

"Do we really have to do this?" He asked, clearly exasperated.

"I know where Blaine's head is, now I need to know where your's is." She explained.

"Rach...wait. What do you mean you know where Blaine's head is?" He asked.

"When he called me after he found you...we talked." He looked at him guiltily.

"Wait, so you talked to him two days ago, and you haven't told me?" He was clearly getting irritated now.

"You were avoiding me."

He looked down and began fiddling with the napkin under his diet coke. "Ok, yes, but you still should have told me." He waited for her to speak, and when she didn't, he prompted her. "Well, what did he say?"

"He's afraid." She said tentatively.

"That he'll hurt me again?"

"No. He's afraid that he's hurt you too much already for you to really trust him. And you can't build a relationship without trust."

Kurt put his hands over his face and scrubbed them up and down. "Ugh. I really want to trust him, but I'm not sure if I can. And how am I supposed to feel about him disappearing again?"

"What?" Rachel asked, confusion written all over her face. "I thought he'd been texting you all the time."

"He has. But he doesn't want to see me or talk to me. How's that supposed to make me feel?" Tears began to form in his eyes and he blinked them back quickly.

"Oh Kurt," Rachel said, reaching out to take his hand. "He's trying to give you time and space, but still show you he's not going anywhere." The brunette nodded for her to continue. "He's texting to let you know he's still there and thinking about you, but he's also giving you time to decide if you can trust him again. If you can't, you two don't have a chance."

Kurt let that thought roll around in his head for a moment. He knew he loved Blaine, but would he really be able to trust him again? On the other hand, if he didn't start trusting Blaine, he would lose him. Was he willing to do that? Just the thought of not having Blaine in his life left him empty.

Sure, he'd been ready to say goodbye not a week ago, but that was to protect his heart. Now things were different. Blaine was different. He'd shown in so many way these last few days that he was trying. And I sabotaged every attempt he made, Kurt thought.

"I've been an idiot, Rachel." Kurt said, after organizing his thoughts.

"No, you're just trying to protect yourself, and Blaine understands that. That's why he's so willing to give you time and space. I'm sure it's killing him as much as it is you right now."

Kurt looked up hopefully. "You really think so?"

"I do." She nodded. "After seeing how worried he was about you the other day, and then talking to him afterward, I believe he is truly sorry for everything. That boy loves you, Kurt." She told him gently.

"God Rachel, I love him too, so much. And I'm so scared." He leaned forward then and rested his forehead on her shoulder and she reached up to rub his back.

"Love isn't easy, but I really think you should give him a chance to earn your trust again. I think he's worth it." She laughed and shook her head. "God, I can't believe I said that."

Kurt straightened up and laughed with her. "Yeah, especially after our last Blainevention."

Her laugh trailed off, but she was still smiling when she said, "Exactly. But seriously, I think he's for real and I think you two can have something really special, but you'll both have to work hard at it and make sure you communicate everything."

"You're right. And I plan to start as soon as land." He said smiling a genuine smile for the first time in days.

The rest of the flight found the two friends laughing and joking about the upcoming break and trying to get the old Glee club back together for a reunion of sorts. True to his word, as soon as they landed and had exited the plane, Kurt pulled out his phone to send a quick text.

'Just landed in Ohio. Excited about seeing my family but sad I have to go another 5 days without seeing you.' -K

Smiling, he tucked his phone away and headed toward the baggage claim, his arm linked with Rachel's and his thoughts on the curly haired boy he'd just texted. He wasn't expecting a text back right away, because he knew Blaine would be traveling home as well, but just didn't know when, so he was pleasantly surprised when he phone beeped with a reply.

'Awe...' -B

'Where are you?' Kurt texted back almost immediately.

'On plane.' -B

'You shouldn't be texting me from the plane!' -K

'I know, but I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you.' -B

'Ok, now I know. Now turn off your phone before you get in trouble!' -K

'Yes sir, turning off my phone now, sir.' -B

'Hmmm, I like it when you call me sir. Wink, wink.' -K

Later...

'I made it! It's good to be home.' -B

'I know what you mean. I really missed my old room.' -K

'Yeah, there's something so comforting about being back.' -B

'Can we talk?' -K

'We are, silly.' -B

'No, I mean for real.' -K

'Kurt...' -B

'Blaine, please.' -K

'I'm just not sure that's a good idea right now. I'm trying to give you time to sort some things out.' -B

'Please. I need to hear your voice.' -K

'Ok, but I can't right now. Family thing. Are you free later?' -B

'How much later?' -K

'IDK, 11:00?' 'B

'Oh, that much later. :(' -K

'I told you...family thing. It runs late. If it's too late, maybe we can just talk tomorrow.' -B

'NO! I want to talk tonight. Please.' -K

'Ok, I'll call you when I'm free.' -B

'I'll be counting the minutes.' -K

'Kurt...' -B

'Blaine...' -K

'Later.' -B

'Can't wait. :)' -K

11:05pm

'I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to call.' -B

':( Why not?' -K

'We have lots of family visiting and I am sharing a room with my cousin. We are both in the room now, so I won't really be able to talk.' -B

'Is there anywhere else you can go? I just really need to talk to you.' -K

'Our house is overflowing with family...so no, it's not possible. Sorry.' -B

'Are you avoiding me?' -K

'No, I swear.' -B

'I really need you to be honest with me, or else this won't work.' -K

'I know. Ok, so for the last few days, yes, I was avoiding seeing or actually talking to you, but I promise that tonight I really can't call, and believe me, I want to. But I need you to tell me honestly why you want to talk to me now.' -B

'I don't want to have this conversation via text, but since we don't have a choice, I'll give you a brief rundown. I talked to Rachel and she said some things that really made me think.' -K

'OOOOK. Care to elaborate?' -B

'Not in detail, but I will say that I really want to have a relationship with you. I want to start from scratch. We can't erase the past, but I am ready to let it go and move on.' -K

Kurt waited nervously for Blaine's response, but it didn't come. He stared at his phone and wondered if he'd overdone it. Had he scared him away? He felt that familiar pain enter his chest and took a deep breath. No, he wasn't going to go down that road again. There is a good reason he didn't text back right away. Maybe his phone died, or his cousin was talking to him, or...

His thoughts were interrupted by the phone he held tight in his hand. He breathed a sigh of relief, and looked down at the screen to read the message, then suddenly realized it wasn't a text. The phone was actually ringing and he was staring at a picture of Blaine. He stared at the picture so long, he almost missed the call, so he quickly slid his finger across the screen, accepting the call.

"Hello?" He said, tentatively.

"Kurt...Oh my God, it's so good to hear your voice." Blaine gushed.

"I thought you couldn't call." Kurt questioned.

"I told my cousin that I left something in the car. It's the only place I could think of on such short notice. I...after reading your last text, I knew I had to talk to you. A-are you sure?" The vulnerability in his voice brought tears to Kurt's eyes.

"Yes, I'm sure. After Rachel and I talked, I realized that if I couldn't let the past go, I'd lose you forever, and that's just not something I am willing to do." Blaine didn't respond right away, but Kurt heard sniffling and realized he was crying. "Are you ok?"

A choked laugh came from the other end of the line. "I'm more than ok. I'm perfect." He answered.

"It doesn't sound like it." Kurt joked.

"Hey now, I'm allowed to cry when I'm happy." Blaine countered.

"Well, you might need to work on that, because I don't want you crying everyday."

"Are you suggesting that you plan to make me happy everyday?" Blaine asked.

"Actually, I was hoping we could make each other happy everyday." Kurt heard a sharp intake of breath at his statement and smiled.

"I think that sounds like an awesome plan." Blaine said, and Kurt could tell he was smiling as well. "I'm sorry, but as much as I would like to continue this conversation, and believe me I really would, but I've got to go before my dad sends a search party. He won't be happy to find me hiding out in a car talking to my boy...um talking to a boy."

Kurt heard Blaine's slip and attempt to cover it up and he was instantly filled with an incredible warmth flooding his body. He'd almost said boyfriend. Sure, they weren't even close to being there yet, but the fact that Blaine even wanted them there made Kurt want to dance around his room and squeal in happiness. Ok, when did he turn into a hormonal teenager girl?

He calmed himself down enough to reply simply, "Ok." He didn't think his voice would be able to handle anymore syllables at the moment.

"I'm not sure if I'll get any free time to call tomorrow, but I'll try. And if I can't, I'll text you all day, ok?" Blaine asked, still a little worried about his slip up.

"That's perfectly fine." Kurt paused and took a deep breath. "Blaine, thank you for calling me. I really did miss hearing your voice, and I'm glad we were able to talk about things."

"Me too, Kurt, me too. I really miss you, and I can't wait to see you. When will you be heading back to New York?" Blaine asked, a plan forming in his head.

"Not until Tuesday. What about you?"

"I go back Monday. Maybe I can pick you up at the airport?" Blaine asked hopefully.

"Maybe. My step brother is coming back with Rachel and I, so I'm not sure if you'd have room for all of us and our stuff. But you could come over when I get back." Kurt said, a little sadness in voice at not seeing Blaine right away.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Just let me know the details closer to time, ok?"

"Sure." Kurt paused, not wanting the call to end. "I guess I'd better let you go." He sighed and heard a similar noise from the other end of the line.

"I miss you, Kurt, so much." Blaine said, his voice almost a whisper.

"I miss you too. Text me in the morning?"

"First thing. Bye Kurt. Sweet dreams." Blaine said just as quietly as before, not wanting to break the spell.

"You too. Bye."

When Kurt hung up the phone, he was silent for a moment, basking in the conversation they'd just had. Then, he began flailing his arms and legs up and down on the bed and threw his pillow over his head and screamed into it.


	16. It's Good to be Home

Kurt woke up the next morning to the sun streaming in his window. In all the excitement last night, he'd forgotten to close his blinds. He was hoping to sleep in this morning, but after realizing he wasn't going to go back to sleep, he drug himself out of bed and to the shower.

Thirty minutes later, he was in the kitchen making whole grain blueberry pancakes for his still sleeping family. As he rummaged through the refrigerator, he'd also come across turkey bacon, which made him smile. It made him happy to know that even though he wasn't here, his family, ok Carole, was still making healthy choices.

He smiled, thinking back to when he introduced his dad and Carole. Sure, he'd had totally different motives in mind when he pushed them together, but he couldn't be happier with the result. It wasn't easy at first, largely due to his crush on Finn, but he was so glad they'd both gotten over their original feelings. They were an actual family now, and he couldn't be happier.

Just as Kurt was putting the final pieces of turkey bacon onto a paper towel, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Good morning Kurt." Carole said warmly. "You didn't have to do all this. I was going to fix everyone breakfast this morning."

Kurt smiled at Carole, then turned and pulled her into a hug. She was surprised, but hugged him back enthusiastically. It was so good to be home.

"It's ok. I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep." He said, reaching for a mug. "Would you like some coffee?" He didn't wait for her response, filling a cup and handing it to her, before moving the food from the counter to the table.

"Thank you," She said, accepting the cup. "It's so good to have you home."

"Especially if you make pancakes every morning." Kurt and Carole turned to see Finn standing in the doorway, hair sticking up from sleep, but smiling.

"Don't get used to it. I came home to relax, not to feed you." Kurt teased, pointing the spatula at Finn. "Plus, I know for a fact that your mom here is an excellent cook." He nudged Carole's shoulder as he spoke, making her blush.

"She is, but nobody makes pancakes like you." Finn said, sitting down and reaching for a slice of bacon.

"He's right." Came another voice, as his dad entered the kitchen smiling. "Morning honey." He kissed Carole on the cheek and reached over to pat Kurt on the back. "Morning kiddo."

Kurt filled two more mugs with coffee, handing one to his father and placing another in front of Finn. "Morning dad. Everyone sit. Pancakes and bacon are ready and I'll grab the fruit." The next hour was spent talking, laughing, and just catching up with his family.

Kurt had some last minute shopping to do and Carole planned on joining him, while Burt and Finn chose to stay home. "I am not going out in all that craziness." His dad had said, Finn nodding his head beside him.

The two shopaholics spent most of the day out and about, fighting the last minute crowds and loving every minute of it. On the way back, they picked up Chinese takeout. It had become a tradition for the Hudson-Hummel's after their first Christmas Eve dinner mishap years ago. Finn tried to help get the pot roast out of the oven with little success and it ended up in a heap on the floor, thus starting their Chinese tradition.

When they arrived home Kurt excused himself to his room under the guise of tending to his last minute purchases, but in actuality he just wanted to call Blaine. They'd been texting back and forth all day, but hadn't had a chance to talk yet, and Kurt really wanted to hear Blaine's voice again.

"Hello." Blaine's voice sounded so formal, Kurt knew something was wrong.

"Is this a bad time?" Kurt asked, whispering as though someone could overhear.

"Yes, yes it is." Came the clipped response.

"Ok. Sorry to bother you. Just call me when you can." Kurt said, trying to hold back tears. He knew Blaine was busy with family, but didn't understand why he was being so cold to him, and it hurt.

After hanging up, he took a deep breath and swiped away the tears that had escaped his eyes. He was through being stupid. He just wanted to go downstairs and be with his family. As he was trying to pull himself together, his phone beeped with a new message.

'God Kurt, I am so sorry. Please don't be mad. My dad was glaring at me and if he knew it was a boy calling...let's just say it wouldn't be a very happy holiday. I'm really sorry, and I promise to call you back later. I really need to hear your voice. Please don't hate me...' -B

Kurt breathed out a sigh of relief. He really needed to stop jumping to conclusions all the time about Blaine. He'd told him he wanted to start from the beginning and he had to make the effort to try and trust Blaine. He didn't know what was up with his parents, but from what Blaine had mentioned in passing, they were not ok with his 'sexual preferences' and assumed it was a silly college phase, even though he'd come out to them in high school.

'I could never hate you. Your voice just sounded so...cold, and it scared me a little. Thank you for texting me right away and explaining. I'm sorry things are like that for you. If you have time later, call me. I miss you. Happy Christmas Eve.' -K

Kurt didn't receive a reply, but wasn't expecting one either. Blaine probably had to go into the bathroom to send the first one. He went downstairs and stood in the doorway of the living room, watching his blended family arrange takeout container on the coffee table, he smiled and realized how lucky he was to have such a loving and accepting family. Sure, it took time for them to get to where they were, but it was worth it.

After the food was gone and all the traditional Christmas specials had been watched, (another part of their new family tradition), the Hudmel family went to their separate rooms to finish up their final preparations for the morning. By the time Kurt was finished wrapping his family's gifts, he was exhaused. He checked his phone for the millionth time and realized that Blaine must not have been able to get away from his family, so he plowed through his nighttime routine and fell into bed, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Kurt was having a really weird dream about reindeer when a ringing noise brought him back into semi-consciousness. He fumbled around until he found his phone and quickly answered it, wondering who would be calling him at this ungodly hour.

"...lo?" He managed to grunt. Kurt was not a morning person. Hell, was it even morning?

"Kurt, is that you?"

Hearing the trembling voice from the other end woke him up right away. "Blaine?"

"Oh man, it so good to hear your voice. I'm so sorry to call this late, but everyone finally went to bed and I was able to sneak out to call. I'm really, really sorry about earlier. I just..."

"Blaine," Kurt said loudly, to get the other boys attention. He had a tendency to ramble when he was nervous or excited. When it quieted down on the other end, he spoke again. "I understand. There's no reason to apologize again. I'm just so glad to hear from you."

"I'm glad too. God I really miss you." There was a pause, but Kurt kept silent, knowing Blaine wasn't finished. "I'm sorry if it's too much, too soon, but being able to talk to you is the only thing keeping me sane right now." He took a deep breath before explaining, "Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but it's just so exhausting pretending to be something I'm not. It's not like I lie to them, but it's easier, especially around the holidays, to just smile and nod and just go along with them. I can't tell you how many of my relatives have asked me if I have a girlfriend yet, and when was I going to settle down and raise a family. I mean, come on...I'm only 20. Even if I was straight and planned to settle down with a quote nice girl, I wouldn't be ready now. And I can only imagine the shock waves I'd send through the Anderson family when I announced I was marrying another man."

Kurt just listened to Blaine, silent tears making their way down his cheeks. His heart was aching for this boy. He knew how lucky he was that his family was so amazing, and it saddened him to know that Blaine didn't have the same understanding. It's no wonder he acted the way he had for the past few years. Even though he came out to his family, he wasn't really openly gay. He didn't deny it, but he also didn't advertise it. It was so obvious that he was scared of the concept of actually developing feelings for Kurt, which is what ultimately led him to continue to push him away.

And the friends he had were just as bad as his family. The poor boy had been getting it from all sides. That is why Blaine acted like two different people. The wonderful, funny, adorable guy he was when it was just he and Kurt, and the cold, unfeeling, downright mean guy he was with his friends.

In the last five 24 hours, Kurt learned more about Blaine and what made him tick than in the last two years. And it also made Kurt more determined than ever to do everything he could to help this wonderful, broken man learn to be comfortable with who he was and to hopefully teach him how to fall in love.

"Kurt," Blaine's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. You did just wake me up out of a dead sleep, so I'm not working on all cylinders yet," he joked, trying to loosen the tension he heard in Blaine's voice. He knew it worked when he heard Blaine's laugh from the other side of the line.

"Sorry about that, but I wanted to be the first person to wish you a Merry Christmas, and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to later. I hope it's ok."

"Blaine, it's more than ok. I'm really glad you called, actually. It's so nice to be able to talk to you. The last week has been..." He paused, searching.

"I know." Blaine responded. "But that's all over now, right? Clean slate?" Kurt could hear the vulnerability in his voice and it killed him.

"Yes, clean slate." Kurt hesitated momentarily, wondering if now was the time to give Blaine his gift. He was planning to wait until they got back, but with everything that happened tonight, he knew it was the right time. "And to show you how serious I am, when we get back, I want to take you out on a date."

"A-a date?"

"Yes, if you are okay with it." He was suddenly worried he'd just freaked Blaine out, so he tried to backtrack. "But it's ok, we don't have to..."

"I'd love to go on a date with you, Kurt." Blaine interrupted.

"Really? Are you sure?" Kurt asked, giving him the chance to change his mind.

"Yes," Kurt could hear Blaine's smile through the phone. "Yes, I am 100% sure I want to go out on a proper date with you. Do you have anything in mind?

"As a matter of fact, I have two tickets to Wicked waiting at the apartment. I was going to give them to you for Christmas."

"Y-you got us tickets to Wicked?" Blaine asked, breathless.

"Technically, I got you two tickets. I didn't want to make any assumptions."

Blaine laughed then, and it sent tingles down Kurt's spine. He hadn't heard Blaine laugh like that in a while, and it felt good to know that he was the reason behind it.

"Of course I'm taking you, goofball."

"Hey, refrain from the name calling. I can still keep the tickets for myself, you know." Kurt teased.

"Indian giver."

"What did I say about the name calling?"

"Just stating facts, sir." Blaine laughed again. The combination of relief, Blaine's laugh, and the fact he was just called sir sent Kurt into a fit of giggles.

Blaine soon joined him and for the next few minutes, all that could be heard was giggling and heavy breathing as the two boys tried to regain their breath. Both knew somehow, tonight was another turning point for them. They'd had a few in the last week, and not all good. But both were sure that this was the most important one yet.

Kurt was the first to speak, saying gently, "Merry Christmas, Blaine."

"Merry Christmas, Kurt."


	17. Words of Wisdom

Kurt woke up Christmas morning with a smile on his face for the first time in a long time. His conversation with Blaine last night had been amazing. They talked for what felt like hours and Kurt had never felt closer to Blaine, even though they were miles apart.

Kurt spent the rest of the morning with his family, opening gifts and just being together. He and Carole migrated into the kitchen after the cleanup was finished, while Finn and Burt turned on football.

Spending time cooking with Carole was one of his favorite pastimes. Through the years, the two had developed a rhythm in the kitchen. Each had their areas of expertise and they moved around each other like a choreographed routine, so within an hour everything was finished, and the two sat at the table, each with a cup of coffee.

"So Kurt, you seem especially happy this morning." Carole said, looking at her step son with a knowing smile. She'd gotten up in the middle of the night to take Burt's gift downstairs and had heard Kurt apparently talking on the phone. His teasing tone and giggles were something she'd not heard from him before, and she realized he was talking to a boy.

Kurt's cheeks turned pink and he looked down at his coffee, which was suddenly very interesting. "I'm just happy to be home with you guys." He responded.

"Oh, I know you are, sweetie, but you seem different this morning. Even happier. Is there something you want to share?" She asked gently.

He rubbed the rim of his cup with his finger absently. He looked up at her with a shy smile and glanced back over his shoulder toward the living room before returning his gaze to her.

"Do you remember Blaine?" He asked hesitantly.

"Your friend from college? Yes. What about him?" She smiled, not making it easy for him.

He grinned then. "I asked him out on a date and he said yes."

"That's wonderful sweetheart. So, has this date happened yet?"

"No, well, he sort of made me dinner the other day, but we didn't talk about it being a date." He looked up then and saw the knowing look on Carole's face. "Oh God, that was, like, a date, wasn't it? Oh wow. We didn't really discuss what it was or what it meant, he just cooked. And now I..."

Carole reached over and put her hand over his on the table. "You're rambling. So, he fixed you dinner and you didn't consider it a date?"

"It's complicated." He said, sighing.

"How?"

"Let's just say we've been through a lot these past couple of weeks. He...well, ugh. It's hard to explain." He put his head down on the table in defeat.

"Hey now, you were so excited just a minute ago. Hold on to that. No matter what has happened in the past. Use that as a lesson and move forward." She waited until he looked up at her. "Do you like him?" She asked gently.

He smiled wistfully and nodded. "I think I might love him." He said quietly. "We've just had so many issues in the past, I'm not sure if I can open myself up again." Even after his confession to Blaine that he wanted to move on, he still had lingering doubts.

"Oh honey, love is tricky, but what I said before applies even more now. If you love him and want to have a relationship with him, it's important you don't allow the past decide your future." She paused for a moment, wondering if she should continue. "Look, I don't know the whole story, but I do know there have been times you've been hurt by him. I also know he makes you happy. You light up when you are talking about him. Even when he's hurt you, there's still a look you get when his name has been mentioned. Now I don't need to know what happened, but I get the feeling there is a lot more to the story than meets the eye, am I right?"

He nodded, but didn't speak, so she continued. "Out of the handful of times I've met him, he seemed like a real genuine guy. Like I said, I don't know the full story, but I think that as happy as he seems to make you, it would be worth the risk to open your heart. Just remember to learn from the past, but don't let it control your future. You deserve to be happy."

He looked at her from across the table with tears in his eyes. He was never more grateful for her than in this moment. He knew, without a doubt, that his mom would have said the same thing, and it warmed his heart. He slowly got up from his seat and moved in to envelop her in a hug.

After his talk with Carole, his mood improved even more. He felt lighter. He was through worrying about the past. He wanted to move on, and he wanted to do it with Blaine. He couldn't wait to talk to him again.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. There was Christmas dinner, then appetizers and a Christmas sing a long with Rachel and her dads. It was one of the best Christmas's Kurt ever had.

Rachel noticed the change in him and kept watching him throughout the night. He could tell she wanted to corner him and find out what was up, but he was thoroughly avoiding her. Not that he didn't want to tell her, but he wanted to enjoy the family time for now.

At one point, Rachel excused herself to take a phone call, which Kurt found odd, but tried not to think too much about it. It was probably just someone from ND calling to confirm their plans the next day. Funny thing was, after her phone call, she stopped trying to corner him and just watched him with an amused smile.

As they were saying their goodbyes, Rachel finally approached Kurt and he tensed, waiting for the questions, but she surprised him by pulling him in for a hug. He looked at her, confused, then she spoke. "Hey, how about you and I have lunch tomorrow? Breadsticks at 1:00?"

Now he was even more confused. "Why?"

She smiled and explained, "Even though we live together, I feel like we don't see each other enough. And being here, back home, I thought it'd be nice to just have lunch. I know we are getting together with the rest of the group later, but I wanted to just, you know, chat."

"Ooook." He said, shaking his head and smiling. He'd stopped trying to figure out Rachel Berry years ago. "Can we do earlier, though?"

Rachel froze for a moment before answering. "Um, no, I have a, um family thing before. Plus, it won't be as crowded at one. We'll have missed the lunch rush."

"Lunch rush, Rachel? It's Breadsticks. They don't have a lunch rush." He joked.

"They might during the holiday season." She said, laughing now. "Just meet me outside at 1:00 and stop complaining. I'll even pay."

"Well, in that case, I'll be there!" They were both grinning like idiots. Their friendship might have started out rocky, but through the years, they both began to respect and love each other despite their differences. The two friends hugged one more time, and Kurt followed his family out the door.

As Kurt lay in bed that night, he reflected on the last few days. He has been on such and emotional roller coaster, that he's surprised he made it through everything without becoming a blubbering mess. He smiles as it hits him. He's growing up. Sure, his emotions have been on big confusing ball of shit lately, but they way he's been able to handle them, reel them in, has been pretty surprising. Ok, with the exception of the day after Blaine cooked him dinner and he had his mini freak out, he's been pretty good at keeping a rein on himself.

But now, laying here in his childhood bed, his safe place, he allows himself the time to just think and feel. He remembered laying in this same spot all through high school, wondering if he'd ever find someone to love. Sure, he talked a big game. Once I move to New York, I'll make it to Broadway, meet the love of my life, and we'll get married and live happily ever after.

But those things just don't happen in real life, do they? After he'd met Blaine, he thought he'd finally found someone he could fall in love with. Oh who was he kidding, he fell for him hard, and the more time they spent together, the more in love with him he became. He was confused at first when Blaine would ignore him sometimes, or would stop speaking to him for days, but he was so happy to have a friend like Blaine, and also so in love, that he didn't let it get to him too much.

Then, after New Years Eve, he knew. He understood that Blaine was embarrassed to be with him, especially around his friends. He was always sending mixed signals, though. When they were alone or out where nobody knew them, he was the real Blaine, but around campus and his friends he was somebody completely different.

Now that Kurt has gotten some of Blaine's backstory with his family, he is beginning to understand why Blaine acted the way he did. He was scared. His parents had never accepted the fact that he was gay, and his friends pretended to, but still tried to make him hide it. Kurt knew Blaine cared about him and even though he'd really hurt him, he believed they could have a chance.

Now he was the one that was scared. But Carole and Rachel (not that he would ever admit this to her face) were right. If he wanted to have a shot at a relationship with Blaine, he needed to leave the past in the past and just move forward. Oh, he couldn't wait until he got back so he could really talk to Blaine. And he really, really wanted to hug him. Who was he kidding, he wanted to kiss the freaking daylights out of him too! Kurt fell asleep remembering the feel of Blaine's lips on his.


	18. The Reason is You

He woke up early the next morning and fixed breakfast with Carole again before joining his dad at the shop for a few hours. He'd actually missed helping his dad out. Of course, he didn't miss the overalls, but being here and smelling the grease and oil, listening to the noises of the drills and the clanking of tools made him relax and remember the good times he spent here with his father.

Time got away from Kurt as he dove right into helping, and if his dad hadn't reminded him that he was supposed to meet Rachel, he'd have worked through lunch. He actually considered calling and canceling, but she'd seemed so excited last night, he just couldn't do that to her, so he rushed home and took a quick shower. He wasn't able to spend as much time on his hair as he liked, but was able to pick out a killer outfit.

He wore his favorite black skinny jeans, a white button down long sleeved shirt with a black vest. He added a red and white scarf for color and holiday spirit, of course.

He arrived exactly five minutes late, and found Rachel out front, eyes wide and darting around searching for him. When she spotted him he could visibly see her shoulders drop in relief and she pulled him into a quick hug.

"I was afraid you weren't coming." She said, breathless even though she'd been standing still.

"I almost called to cancel, actually." He saw her eyes widen at his comment, and he continued on. "I went to the shop with my dad this morning and just lost track of time. I was afraid I wouldn't have time to get ready, but I didn't want to stand you up. You're right, we don't get to spend enough time together as we used to." He smiled then and pulled the door open, motioning for her to enter.

"Such a gentleman." She breathed, as she walked through the open door. He followed her to a table in the front and she took a seat facing the kitchen, leaving him to face the windows. He looked at her with a confused look, because she knew he liked to face the restaurant, so she could scan the crowd and see who was there. It was a habit carried over from high school. If she noticed his look, she chose to ignore it.

Before they could begin a conversation, the waitress was there, taking their order. No need for her to come back twice, they always got the same thing, so as soon as she left, they began talking. They were never at a loss when it came to conversation, and were so engrossed in said conversation, Kurt didn't notice when someone took the tiny stage by the window, until he heard a familiar voice.

He froze and gasped, afraid to look up. When he did, his eyes met the golden hazel gaze of the boy who had been on his mind everyday for the last two years. He sat on a small stool quietly strumming a guitar before addressing the crowd.

"Hi everyone, my name is Blaine. I'm not from around here, but I have a really good friend who is. I'm not really good at telling people how I feel, but I am good at singing, so I'd like to sing him a song right now. Kurt, please listen, because I mean every word."

When he began singing, everything around Kurt disappeared. All he could see or hear was Blaine. His voice was so soothing and fucking amazing, but it was the words that made their way straight to Kurt's heart.

I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
Thats why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is You

and the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you

By the end of the song, Kurt had tears streaming down his face. Their eyes never lost contact, and Kurt could see the sincerity in his eyes, and had heard it in his voice. Sure, Blaine had hurt him in the past, but the boy on that stage just poured his heart out to Kurt, and he never felt closer to anyone than he did to Blaine in that moment.

Neither boy heard the applause, both too focused on the other as they made their way to each other, meeting in the middle. They both stood there awkward for a moment, before Kurt launched himself into Blaine's arms, burying his face in Blaine's neck. Oh God, had he always smelled this good?

Although they were both reluctant to pull away, they did, remembering they were standing in the middle of a restaurant holding each other. Kurt was still crying as he grabbed Blaine's hand and pulled him out of the restaurant, throwing Rachel a look that said 'thanks, I'll call you later,' and she just smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

Kurt opened the door to his Navigator and practically pushed Blaine in before running around to the drivers side and getting in. The ride to Kurt's house was silent, neither boy sure what the other was thinking, but knowing the car was not the place to have this conversation.

Kurt was suddenly nervous that his family was not at home, because he was afraid he was going to attack Blaine after that performance. It was taking every ounce of willpower to not pull the car over and take him right here in the car on the side of the road. He could feel the worry rolling off Blaine and he wanted to reach over and take his hand, but he knew if he touched him right now, it would be all over, so he kept both hands on the wheel, knuckles white from his tight grip.

The arrived at the Hudmel household minutes later and Kurt got out and started toward the house, waiting for Blaine to follow. Once the shorter boy realized what was expected, he got out and headed toward the house, where Kurt stood holding the front door open, waiting.

The moment Blaine stepped over the threshold he felt a heat behind him and before he could even react, Kurt had closed the door, grabbed Blaine by the hips and pushed him back against the door crashing their lips together.

Both boys gasped at the sudden contact, and Kurt pulled back slightly before claiming his lips again, this time sucking Blaine's bottom lip into his mouth. Blaine moaned deep in this throat, and that just spurred Kurt on. His hand that had been palms flat against the door on either side of Blaine's head were now buried in the dark haired boys curls, while Blaine's arms snaked around Kurt's hips, pulling him so their bodies were flush.

After he let go of Blaine's bottom lip, he slid his tongue into the warm cavern that was Blaine's mouth, and it was heaven. How the hell did he ever go without kissing him after last time? God, he could just do this forever. And apparently Blaine felt the same way, because his tongue found it's way into Kurt's mouth and was mapping out the area behind his teeth, making Kurt groan and pushed their bodies even closer together.

Kurt was lost in sensation as he continued his assault on Blaine's mouth. More, more, more, was the only thing running through his mind as they made out against his front door.

Seconds later, both boys were pushed from a pressure from the other side of the door, causing their lips to separate, but not their bodies. They stumbled, and when they regained their balance, they just stared at each other, breathing heavy, lips red and swollen.

"Dude, what's blocking the...oh, hey Kurt. What..." Finn came back from the shop to grab lunch for Burt and himself and was surprised that the door seemed stuck, so he pushed really hard and it finally gave away. He knew Kurt was home because he saw his car in the driveway, but was at a loss for words when he came in the door and saw what had been blocking his way.

Standing in the entryway stood Kurt, with his arms around another boy. Wait, wasn't that Blaine, the boy Kurt was always talking about? What were they doing, and why were they blocking the door? Finn was confused, but quickly realized that Kurt was not paying attention to him at all. His gaze was literally locked to Blaine's. It was only when he looked closer at Kurt's face did he realize why their arms were wrapped around each other. Holy shit, they'd been making out against the door. Finn shivered.

It's not that he had a problem with Kurt being gay, not anymore, but he really didn't want to think about what he could have walked in on. Ugh. He decided to just go on with his business and leave the two boys alone, so he headed toward the kitchen and began making sandwiches.

Even though Kurt and Blaine had been knocked away from the door, they were still both under each other's spell. It was only when he heard noise coming from the kitchen that Kurt seemed to realize they weren't alone anymore. He pulled back out of the comfort of Blaine's arms causing Blaine to whine, but reached down to take his hand, leading him through the hallway.

As they passed by the kitchen, Kurt finally addressed his brother. "We are going to my room. See you later at the party." He didn't wait for a response, leading Blaine behind him up the stairs and into his room where he shut and locked the door. Blaine still hadn't said a word, but watched Kurt with an intensity that caused shivers down his spine.

Kurt led him to the edge of the bed and pulled him to sit down beside him, never letting go of his hand. Blaine finally found his voice, albeit a little shaky, and said, "So, I take it you liked the song."

Kurt threw his head back and laughed. Hearing the melodic laughter, Blaine relaxed and let himself laugh with him. The sexual tension that had been crackling around them broke and they were just Kurt and Blaine again.

Once Kurt got himself back under control, he turned to the shorter boy purposely catching his eye. "It was perfect." He whispered.

Blaine's eyes sparkled. "I really meant it."

"I know." The sincerity in those words went straight to Blaine's heart. They just sat there for a moment, taking in the seriousness of the moment. Kurt didn't want to ruin it, but he had to ask. "What are you doing here?" Blaine's eyes clouded over and Kurt quickly added, "Believe me, I'm glad, but I thought you had family time to deal with."

"I did, but I lied and told my parents I had to get back to school to finish a project that was due after the break." He watched Kurt's eyes widen in surprise and almost laughed at the sight, but instead he sighed. "This trip has just been so emotionally exhausting and I couldn't deal with my family's bullshit anymore." Kurt looked like he wanted to interrupt. Blaine could see the guilt in his eyes knowing their situation had been partly to blame. Before Kurt could speak, Blaine continued. "After our middle of the night conversation I just felt so happy, but all day long, my family kept dragging me down again. I knew what you and I were working towards was so much more important than anything else, so I formulated a plan."

Realization set in and Kurt smiled. "You called Rachel, last night."

Blaine nodded. "I needed to see you, but I also wanted to show you how serious I am about this...about us."

"Well, you certainly outdid yourself." Kurt said, giving Blaine a soft smile.

"I'm not finished, though."

"What?"

Blaine pulled a flat box out of the pocket of his cardigan and handed it to Kurt who opened the box with shaky hands. All he saw was a key. He looked up at Blaine, confused. Blaine's smile was wide, but Kurt could see a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

"Now, before you freak out, I'm not doing something crazy and asking you to move in with me yet. This is just my way of showing you that I am not going to walk away. I am giving you a key to my apartment so you can come over anytime, and you know that I always want you there. I'm so happy that you agreed to give me another chance, and this way you can know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I will not disappear from your life again."

Oh God.

Kurt was shaking.

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Not only was that the most amazing, heartfelt speech he'd ever heard, but Blaine had said YET. He wasn't asking him to move in YET! That meant...

Wow.


	19. Finally...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me. This is not the end, but it is what we've all been waiting for, and the chapter title says it all...

Blaine sat next to Kurt, waiting. Kurt just stared at the key in the box, not moving, not speaking and Blaine felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. What if he was moving too fast? He'd thought the key had been a good idea, but now he was having second thoughts. What if he scared Kurt away.

Oh God.

He didn't realize his breathing had picked up until he felt a warmth around him and a soothing hand rubbing up and down his back.

"Breathe Blaine. Come on baby, deep breaths. That's it." Kurt was whispering gently in his ear. Shit, he was having another panic attack. He hated these stupid attacks. They always made him feel so weak, and Kurt had already seen him like this too many times. He didn't need some wimpy boy who had a panic attack every time something didn't go his way.

Embarrassed, he tried to pull away but Kurt was just held him tighter. Once he was able to get his breathing under control he turned his head slightly and buried his nose in Kurt's neck, breathing in his scent. Kurt's hand moved up from it's place on his back to cup the back of his neck, gently pulling Blaine back, but not allowing him to move away.

Kurt's thumb rubbed back and forth across his throat softly. "Better?" Kurt asked quietly, trying to catch Blaine's eye.

Blaine just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He kept his eyes downcast, not wanting Kurt to see how vulnerable he was feeling at that moment, but Kurt was having none of it, using the hand behind his neck to move his head, forcing their eyes to connect.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said softly. Blaine's face fell and Kurt quickly continued. "I'm not saying no to the key. Oh God, no. Quite the opposite. I was so stunned and blown away by your words that I was literally speechless. I'm so sorry you took my silence as negative. I didn't mean to worry you."

"I..." Blaine had to clear his throat before speaking, and even then, his voice was thick from the deep breathing. "I'm sorry I'm so weak."

Kurt pulled him into another hug to reassure him. "Blaine, you are not weak. You are one of the strongest people I know." He pulled back to look at Blaine again, wanting him to see the seriousness in his eyes. "After everything you've had to go through with your family through the years, and then those idiots you thought were your friends..." Kurt stopped there and placed a small kiss on Blaine's lips. "You walked away from them...for me, for us. That tells me a lot about your character."

"Yeah, it only took me two years of torturing the most amazing person I've ever met, then almost losing him for me to figure things out, though. Real smart and so brave." Blaine's voice was self-deprecating.

"Hey, you listen to me. What you did, have done, is in the past. I'm over it, and you should be too. The only Blaine I care about now is the one that has been present since I sang that song at the bar that night. That's our clean slate. Remember?" Kurt pulled back farther and picked up the box that he had tossed on the bed when Blaine began to hyperventilate, and took out the key, holding it in front of Blaine. "This is the best Christmas present I've ever gotten. It is thoughtful and wonderful. Just like you."

Blaine blushed and Kurt smiled, but he wasn't finished. It was time. He knew he had to tell Blaine how he felt. They both needed this. He leaned in again and placed another soft kiss to Blaine's lips, but before he could pull back, Blaine had a death grip on his neck, bringing their lips together with such force he'd wouldn't be surprised if he tasted blood.

But Kurt couldn't care less, because Blaine was currently sucking on Kurt's tongue and all he could do was moan at the sensation. Suddenly he swung his leg over Blaine's and was straddling the smaller boys lap. The change in angle allowed Blaine the perfect access to Kurt's long and slender neck, so he tore his lips away from Kurt's with a loud pop and began licking and sucking his way down Kurt's neck. When he found Kurt's 'spot' behind the ear, he groaned and bucked his hips forward, bringing their obvious arousals together, causing both boys to moan and rock together again.

He was worried they were moving too fast, but it just felt so good to have Kurt on top of him, holding him, kissing him, that he never wanted to stop. He tightened his hold on Kurt's waist, bringing their hips closer together, never loosing contact with his lips.

Kurt's body was on fire. He had no experience with boys or sex. He came from Lima, Ohio for God's sake. Sure, he'd moved to New York, a place not only accepting to gays, but a veritable smorgasbord of possibilities. But Kurt had always been into romance. Hell, he hadn't even jerked off until his senior year, but the older he got, the more he thought about and wanted sex.

Unfortunately, after Kurt met Blaine his freshman year, there was no one else good enough. He'd been hit on by some guys at random bars (he was so not looking for a hook up), and had even gone out for coffee with a few guys from his classes, but he always found himself comparing them to Blaine. And once they kissed, last New Years Eve, he knew there would be no one else. It was like a fire that started in their lips but ended up in his heart.

Whenever he had "those" dreams, the star was always Blaine, and most mornings he would wake up wet and sticky, but very satisfied. But now, sitting in Blaine's lap (how did that happen), feeling Blaine's warm lips travel from his neck back to his lips, his tongue mapping out his mouth, and their arousals rubbing together, he feels like nothing else exists but the warmth of Blaine. The tingles coursing through his body, along with the fire racing through his veins makes him want. He wants Blaine, and he wants him now.

He whimpers when Blaine pulls back resting his forehead against Kurt's and breathing heavily. His eyes are dark and Kurt knows his must look the same. Blaine rocks his hips up slightly and whispers, "I've never..."

He doesn't finish his thought, and doesn't need to. Kurt knows. "Me either."

"Can we just..." Again, Blaine rock his hips up, this time with more intent.

Kurt moaned and pushed back, growling "Keep going." He meant it to sound like a question, but it came out more like an order.

"Yes, God yes." Blaine breathed out before attacking Kurt's mouth again, tightening his hold on Kurt's hips to keep him still as he bucked up into him with much more force than before.

Kurt wasn't going to let Blaine do all the work, though, as he rolled his hips and pushed down, earning a deep moan from Blaine that reverberated through their attached mouths, and straight into Kurt's soul. He never wanted to let this man go. As a matter of fact, he decided that he didn't ever need to eat or sleep again. All he needed was Blaine under him, around him, and oh God, someday inside of him, forever.

Their movements became erratic and their breathing sounded more like panting by this point. They were not so much kissing now as they were just breathing in each other's mouths.

Suddenly Kurt moaned, "Blaine, Blaine, oh, oh..." His movements picked up to a frantic pace and he threw his head back, feeling his orgasm crash over him harder than it ever had.

At the same time, Blaine lifted his hips up roughly and shouted "Kurt..."

The only sounds in the room were their heavy breathing, and Kurt dropped his head to Blaine's shoulder and waited for his brain to come back.

Blaine felt boneless. Sure, he'd gotten himself off. He was a young gay man after all, but he'd never done anything with a guy before. He'd only ever kissed one guy before Kurt, and that was back in his old prep school on a dare.

He knew he was gay and acted like he was proud of it, but in reality, he was a little ashamed. His family and friends were always so down on the idea of him not being "normal" that he never felt comfortable being with another guy, so afraid they could find out.

But he'd always felt himself with Kurt. He felt like he didn't have to hide who he really was, and the moment he kissed Kurt, he knew. He knows that was part of the reason he pushed Kurt away. He knew he could fall in love with him and that scared the hell out of him, so it was easier to flirt and have fun with him, then push him away whenever he needed to step back. He hadn't realized how much that had hurt Kurt.

Kurt was the first to move, raising his head to look at Blaine, and what he saw had him catching his breath. Blaine looked so gorgeous debauched. His red swollen lips, cheeks pink from the exertion, beads of sweat on his forehead, eyes still blown out with lust, but also holding something more. Something that Kurt was sure his eyes mirrored...adoration.

"Wow," He breathed, then smiled.

"Wow indeed," Blaine answered, still a little breathless.

"Look, I know this might not be the right time, I mean seriously, we are sitting in wet sticky pants, but I just feel like I need to tell you, but it's not easy and..."

His tangent was cut off by Blaine's lips. This kiss wasn't urgent or needy, like the previous ones had been, but sweet and gentle. He pulled back and chuckled, happy that he seemed to quiet Kurt for a moment. "Ok now?" Kurt nodded. "Good, then breathe, and continue."

Kurt heeded his advice and took a deep, cleansing breath. "I'm not saying this because of what we just did, which was fantastic, by the way, but I do need you to know and I hope it's not too soon or too late but...Oh God, why is this so hard?" He rolled his eyes toward the ceiling, chastising himself. Bringing his face back down, he cupped Blaine's cheek gently and looked into his eyes. "I am so in love with you Blaine. I know we've been through a lot these past two years, and even more in these last two weeks and I just want you to know that I am more than ready to move on. I want a relationship with you. I can't forget everything that has happened, because it has shaped me as a person, and I know it has changed you too. You are an amazing person. I saw that from the moment we met. And through the years, I have seen the good and the bad. I have been impressed by you and disappointed by you, but through it all, I have loved you."

Throughout Kurt's speech, Blaine sat frozen. The most amazing boy, whom he'd hurt over and over and who had almost said goodbye to him two weeks ago, had not only just given him the most mind blowing orgasm of his life, but he followed it up with the three greatest words in the universe...I love you.

Kurt was still cupping Blaine's cheek and felt wetness, as tears began streaming out of his eyes. Kurt wasn't worried, though, because he could see the emotion in Blaine's eye's, and it wasn't sadness, oh no, it was compete and utter happiness, which was exactly what Kurt was feeling at that moment.

"I..." Blaine tried to speak, but his voice cracked, so he cleared his throat and started again. "Oh my God. I-I so don't deserve you." Kurt opened his mouth to reply, but Blaine leaned over and placed a brief kiss on Kurt's open mouth, effectively stopping him. "Look, we both know I've been an asshole, but I swear with everything I have and everything that I am that I have changed. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I can't apologize enough for all the shit I've put you through in the last two years, but I can promise to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I regret it. God, I love you so much."

Before he could continue, Kurt leaned forward and captured his lips in a bruising kiss. Actually hearing those words come out of Blaine's mouth send shivers up and down his spine, and he couldn't hold back, attacking Blaine's mouth like it was his lifeline. Blaine reciprocated immediately and the two lost themselves in the kiss.

Kurt felt himself getting hard again and that's when he realized how sticky and uncomfortable his nether region was, and he was positive Blaine was feeling the same, so he reluctantly pulled back, eliciting a whine from the beautiful boy under him.

"As ready as I am to go again," Kurt said, explaining his reasoning for halting their heated make out session, "I think we need to get out of these sticky pants before we hurt ourselves."

"Yeah, right, ok." Blaine's voice was husky and low, and oh God, the things it did to Kurt.

Spurred on my hormones, Kurt was just as surprised as Blaine at what came out of his mouth next. "Let's go grab a shower." He drew in a deep breath, worried at what Blaine's reaction would be, but it his worry went out the window when he saw Blaine's face. His mouth was open slightly in surprise, but it was his eyes that told the real story. His normally bright hazel eyes were now a deep dark brown and blown wide in arousal.

This got Kurt moving, sliding quickly off Blaine's lap, trying not to cringe at the mess in his pants, as he grabbed Blaine's hand and led him to the adjoining bathroom. Once inside, he pulled the door closed as he let go of Blaine's hand, then he went to the shower and turned on the water to adjust the temperature. While he moved around the small room, he felt Blaine's gaze on him, burning, wanting.

He turned around to speak and froze. Blaine had taken his shirt off and was in the process of ridding himself of his jeans, as well. Kurt couldn't move or breathe, so he just watched. Blaine didn't seem to mind, as he leaned down to pull his sock off, after removing his jeans. Kurt's eyes swept over Blaine's olive skinned chest and down his chiseled abs, and finally resting on his black boxer brief, that were sporting an impressive erection, surrounded by an equally impressive wet spot.

Blaine straightened then, catching Kurt's gaze when he started forward, closing the distance between the two. Kurt breathed out then, suddenly realizing he had been holding his breath, as Blaine began undoing Kurt's buttons one by one. The only sounds that could be heard were the boys quick breathing and the ping of the empty shower.

Blaine pushed Kurt's shirt off his shoulders, running his hands back up his biceps and mapping out Kurt's porcelain chest.

"Beautiful," Blaine breathed, before popping the button on Kurt's jeans and helping him shimmy out of them.

Before long, both boys stood in the steam filled room clad in just their underwear, staring. What they had done in the bedroom had been amazing, but this, this was on a whole different level. They were baring themselves to each other. It should have been scary, but it was anything but. They had already bared their souls to each other, and this was easy after that, right?

Blaine was the first to make a move, reaching down and quickly divesting himself of his boxers, and he heard Kurt's sharp intake of breath, following his eyes as they skimmed across his body, ending up at his obvious arousal. Kurt just stood and stared, until Blaine whispered, "Your turn."

Shaking his head to clear away the fog, Kurt slid his thumbs into his own underwear and pushed them down. Blaine stopped breathing for a second before saying, "You are perfect, Kurt."

Kurt blushed and dropped his eyes to the floor before reaching out and grabbing Blaine's hand and pulling him into the shower. The warm water immediately relaxed Kurt, who closed his eyes and let out a moan at the wonderful sensation. In an instant Blaine had attached his lips to Kurt's. Kurt gasped at the surprise attack, causing his mouth to open, which Blaine used to his advantage, immediately shoving his tongue in Kurt's mouth, demanding attention.

His tongue, it turns out, wasn't the only thing demanding attention. While their mouths were attached, their bodies gravitated toward each other without the boys realizing it, until Kurt felt Blaine's hardness rub against his, causing yet another moan, this time coming from both boys.

Kurt had no idea what he was doing, but he knew one thing, he needed to touch Blaine...now. He pulled back from the kiss, letting Blaine continue to rain kisses down his neck and chest, while he focused his efforts downward, reaching out and running his fingers across Blaine's cock.

"Fuck." Blaine yelped, pulling back and looking at Kurt, who's gaze was still focused on Blaine's hardness. He felt Blaine's stare and looked up, still lightly brushing his fingers back and forth across Blaine's cock.

"This ok?" Kurt asked in a small voice.

"So ok." Blaine breathed. "God Kurt. C-can I touch you?"

"Please." Came the broken response. Blaine didn't waste another minute, reaching out and grabbing Kurt tightly in his fist. "Jesus." Kurt moaned and momentarily halted his gentle touching, before looking up and meeting Blaine's gaze. What he saw nearly knocked the wind out of him.

Blaine usually kept his emotions well in hand, but right then, under the warm spray of water, Kurt felt as though he could see into Blaine's soul. Sure, there was obvious arousal, but underneath, that's what got to Kurt. He saw love and adoration and amazement and acceptance, and it was all because of him. Emotions unlike he'd ever experience washed over Kurt and he just leaned forward and pulled Blaine into a hug. He just needed to be close to him, feel him, show him that he knew, he understood, he felt the same.

"I love you so much." Kurt whispered into Blaine's ear as he held on for dear life.

Blaine did understand, and he released his hold on Kurt's cock to allow himself to hug back. "I love you too. More than you can ever imagine."

He looked up at Kurt then and suddenly they were kissing again. The kisses started off slow and sensual, but eventually became dirty and messy. Hands began to roam and the room was filled with moans and kisses and eventually orgasms.

Only when the boys finished showering and were back in the room and dressed, did Kurt remember Finn. "Oh shit." He said, putting his head in his hands.

"What?" Blaine said, his voice filled with worry.

"Finn." Was all he said. Blaine's face paled.

"Y-you don't think..." Blaine couldn't finish that sentence.

"I don't think he'll tell my dad, but I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't tell Rachel. Oh man, all of New Directions is going to know by the end of the party."

"I'm sorry. I can just go. I don't need to stay for the party." Blaine said, his voice sounding guilty as he moved toward the door.

Kurt stood up quickly and moved to stop him. "What, no. God, no, Blaine. I'm not, I don't want...Shit. I'm just embarrassed, ok."

Blaine paled again and looked down at the floor, his eyes tearing up. What the fuck? When did he become a fucking teenage girl, getting all weepy? "I-I'm sorry. I know they all hate me, so..."

Kurt looked at Blaine then and realized what he thought, and he walked over to him, cupping his cheek and forcing their gazes together. "I'm not embarrassed by you. I promise. I'm embarrassed because I was so distracted by you and your amazing voice and incredible kisses that I totally forgot he was even here in the house and who knows what he heard. He's my step-brother and the last thing I want to think about is him hearing me lose control like that. But you just..."

Blaine smiled then, understanding. "I just what?" He asked, teasing.

"You're just so..."

"So?" Blaine smirked, and the look he was giving Kurt nearly undid him.

"God, you are just so amazing. I literally just want to look at you all day long. Your soft, curly hair," While he was talking, he was also touching, running his fingers through Blaine's hair. "You have to most beautiful eyes. I could get lost in them for hours. And your lips, God, you have the most amazing lips." He brushed his thumb gently against Blaine's bottom lip as he spoke. "So soft, yet strong and possessive. After you kissed me the first time, I knew no one else would ever make me feel that way." Blaine sucked in a breath, but Kurt just kept going. "Your body...you are so hot. You have such strong arms and such a solid body. When you kissed me at the welcome back party and pushed me up against the wall...shit, I almost came right then and there. Feeling your warmth pressed up against me. God, Blaine."

He couldn't hold off any longer, leaning in and kissing Blaine hard, immediately sucking his bottom lip, making him moan and open his mouth, so Kurt could plunge his tongue in and taste him. Blaine fought back, their tongues dueling, as he brought his hands around Kurt's back, pulling him closer pressing their bodies together again.

Kurt pulled back and began licking and sucking up and down Blaine's neck, and he spoke again, in between kisses. "And now, that I've touched you, felt you, watched you come, I don't think I'll be able to ever stop touching you."

"Oh God, Kurt." Blaine moaned, sliding his hands down to cup Kurt's ass and pull their groins together. They were both hard again and even with the previous two orgasms, both felt amazingly close already. "I need you, fuck, how can I be this close already? What are you doing to me?" Blaine's rambling was cut off by Kurt's mouth on his.

The kisses were messy and amazing and Kurt, not wanting to take yet another shower, reached down and quickly undid Blaine's pants and his own, pushing them down past their thighs and lifting both their shirt up. He reached down and grabbed both of their cocks in his hand and began moving up and down quickly. When Blaine's brain caught up to what was happening, he brought his hand down as well, linking his fingers with Kurt's as they wrapped around both their cock's, creating a rhythm together.

They stopped kissing, resting their foreheads together, both sets of eyes watching their hands move together. It only took a few moments, despite the previous orgasms, before they both were coming again, all over each others hands and stomachs. When their breathing finally slowed down, they came together in another mind blowing kiss before pulling back to clean up.


	20. Breaking Records

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so...I'm not used to writing M stories, but I hope the last chapter was alright. It wasn't exactly where I thought the story was heading, but apparently the boys had a different idea. Yeah. So, moving on. It looks like there will only be two chapters after this to wrap it all up. Thanks for sticking with me through this very angsty journey. Hope you've enjoyed the ride.

Naturally, after three amazing orgasms, the boys were ready to sleep for days, but with the impending party, they settled for a couple of hours.

Kurt awoke first, groggy and wondering why he felt so warm. When he looked down and took note of Blaine literally draped over his body, their legs intertwined, their heartbeats in sync, and Kurt smiled, remembering what had taken place before their nap. Blaine looked so peaceful when he slept, like all his cares were wiped away. He was usually a bundle of energy and it was nice to see him relax so completely. Of course, the orgasms probably helped.

Kurt blushed a little at the thought of how completely they had given into their desires. It had been the most amazing afternoon of his life, and not just because of the orgasms, which were mind blowing, but also because they had finally been completely and totally honest about everything, and had exchanged the three most important words in the English language...I love you.

He turned his head to see the clock on his bedside table and noted the time. They still had two hours before being invaded by the New Directions, so he turned back to the boy laying in his arms, bringing his free hand up and sliding his fingers through Blaine's beautiful curls still free of product after their shower earlier. He needed to convince Blaine to leave out all that gel he normally used. Especially now, because Kurt is surprisingly very tactile and needs to having his hands in Blaine's hair whenever possible.

Blaine sighed and snuggled closer as Kurt continued his ministrations on Blaine's hair. Kurt took a deep breath and closed his eyes wanting to savor the moment. They'd had such an amazing afternoon, but there was a part of him that is still a little worried about when they go back to New York.

He knows Blaine loves him and finally can say he trusts him, but how is he going to react when they get back. He knows that even though he quit the band, some of his former bandmates and friends are in some of his classes. Will Blaine be strong enough to stand up to them again?

"Stop thinking so hard." Came the sleepy voice, muffled by his chest.

Kurt's eyes flew open and he looked down at the gorgeous boy on his chest. He hadn't moved, except to speak, but his face was no longer a picture of calm.

"I-I'm not." Yeah, the stutter is not going to give anything away, Kurt thought darkly.

"You are." Blaine lifted his head then and rested his chin on his hand, looking at Kurt. "I felt it the moment you tensed up and I want you to stop. I know what you are thinking and I promise, now that I have you, I'm never letting you go. I don't care what anybody says. Yes, going back will be tough. I'm not looking forward to facing my ex-friends again, but I am looking forward to letting everyone know that you are mine, and nothing is going to change that." He paused, holding Kurt's gaze, trying to convey his feelings. "I love you."

"God, I love you too." He sighed, happy that Blaine understood what he was thinking without having to voice it.

"Now that you are calm, can we focus on the fact that your friends are going to be here in less than," he glanced over at the clock, "two hours and I have no idea if they all hate me or not."

Kurt's laughed, causing Blaine's head to bob up and down. "Hey, if I'm not allowed to worry, neither are you. Besides, I'm sure Rachel has informed everyone how you serenaded me today, and she probably has video to share with the group." Kurt laughed again at Blaine's shocked expression. "This is a good thing for us, because everyone will be happy for us, so stop worrying. We should probably get up, though. My dad will be home soon and as comfortable as I am with everything, I don't need my dad to catch me practically naked in bed with you."

Blaine's face lost all it's color at the mention of Burt. "Oh God, he probably wants to kill me for leading you on and hurting you."

Kurt began running his hand up and down Blaine's back in a calming manner. "No, he's cool. I mean sure, he was upset in the beginning, but I've talked to him and Carole about you a lot this trip, and they can both tell things were getting better. But, that being said, I'm sure he wouldn't want to know how you deflowered his son in his childhood bedroom."

Kurt laughed as Blaine turned green and bolted up off the bed and away from Kurt as quickly as possible. Looking back at Kurt, he narrowed his eyes and glared at him. "I hate you."

"No you don't." Kurt said, catching his breath and wiping his eyes. "You love me."

Blaine's eyes softened and he smiled down at Kurt. "You're right, I do."

Kurt sat up and pulled Blaine back to the bed and settled in beside him, running his fingers alone Blaine's cheek. He would never tire of looking at Blaine. His eyes hold so much emotion that it shakes Kurt to the core and he reaches forward and gently places his lips over Blaine's. The kiss was slow and exploring at first, but it quickly turned heated. Blaine's tongue was sinful, sliding into Kurt's warm mouth, mapping out the inside over and over before dueling with Kurt's.

Within minutes Blaine had Kurt on his back and was rutting their hips together again. Kurt moaned and began lifting his hips up to meet Blaine, the two of them developing a rhythm, and all Kurt could think was oh my God, if frotting feels this good, what's it going to feel like when Blaine is actually inside him. With that thought, Kurt lost it and exploded again, biting down on Blaine's shoulder causing him to let go too.

Blaine collapsed onto Kurt, boneless, but enjoying the warmth. Kurt moved his hands from their previous position on Blaine's butt (when did that happen) and began to run his hands up and down his back in a soothing manner, causing Blaine to snuggle in closer, nuzzling Kurt's neck and breathing him in.

"You always smell so good." He murmured, his voice husky.

"I'm sure after 4 orgasms, I probably smell like sex." Kurt laughed.

"Mmmm, yeah, and that mixed with your natural smell is amazing." Blaine said, his face still buried in Kurt's neck.

"God, I didn't think it was possible to have 4 orgasms in one day." Kurt said.

Blaine finally lifted his head and kissed Kurt before catching his eye. "Being with you, I feel like I could have a lot more than that." His eyes darkened as he continued speaking. "It's like now that I can finally allow myself to be close to you, my body is trying to make up for lost time."

Kurt moaned at Blaine's confession and felt himself start to harden again. "As much as I'd like to see if we could break some kind of record today, we need to get up. My dad will be home in 20 minutes and we need to clean up."

Blaine moved at that, rolling off Kurt and heading toward the bathroom. "I'll be quick. I know you'll need more time than me." He paused at the doorway and turned, sending Kurt a heated gaze. "But after the party, I'd like to re-visit the subject of breaking records..." With that he turned and entered the bathroom, leaving behind a very turned on Kurt.

When Burt returned from work, they boys were sitting downstairs in the kitchen enjoying a cup of coffee, courtesy of Blaine. While Kurt was freshening up, Blaine decided they both needed a caffeine fix and made coffee.

They heard Burt take off his shoes and put his coat away before heading to the kitchen. "Hey kiddo, is that coffee I smell? You're a lifesaver. It's been..." he stopped short when he realized Kurt wasn't alone. "Sorry, I didn't realize you had company." Burt surveyed the scene, the way the boys bodies were faced toward each other leaning in and their body language relaxed and he knew that they had worked through whatever issues they'd had.

Kurt had always been fairly open with his dad, with the exception of the bullying at school, but that was because he didn't want his dad to worry. But since he'd been away at school in New York, he and Kurt had talked at least twice a week, Kurt keeping him up to date on everything happening in his life, so he knew all about Blaine. Burt was sure there were other things that happened between the two boys that Kurt didn't share, but he also knew that Kurt was head over heels in love with Blaine.

Sure, he hated hearing how upset Kurt was whenever he'd talk about Blaine ignoring him or not calling him, but he also sensed there had to be more to the story than meets the eye. He was usually a pretty good judge of character, and so when Blaine surprised Kurt the previous summer and stayed for the cookout, Burt knew he had feelings for his son. Blaine was very charming and he could tell it wasn't an act. He seemed like a very genuinely sweet boy, and he noticed the way Blaine followed Kurt around with his gaze all night, never letting him out of his line of vision.

That's why he was so confused when Kurt called him later that fall from school crying over something Blaine did (he was sure he didn't get the full version of the story, but enough to know Kurt was hurt), he was surprised. He had hoped the two boys would be able to work through things and go from friends to more (yes, Burt was silently rooting for Blaine but he would never tell Kurt), so when Kurt began calling on a regular basis crying, Burt began to doubt Blaine's character.

Needless to say, he was surprised yet again when Kurt's reports of Blaine suddenly became a little more positive again. Sure, Burt was worried. He hated seeing Kurt hurt, but he also knew his son well enough to know that what Kurt felt for Blaine was real and quite serious. He just hoped it didn't take Blaine too long to realize it and get himself together and make things happen. And observing the two boys in the kitchen, he concluded that it finally happened.

"Dad, hey." Kurt said, looking up. "You remember Blaine?" He noticed how his son's face was almost glowing, and he realized they must have done more than sharing feelings. That explains why Finn was so flustered when he came back from grabbing their lunch. He was jumpy and fidgety and looked a little pale. He didn't question it, just accepted the half hearted attempt at a sandwich and bag of carrots Finn dropped on his desk before disappearing into the break room.

He grinned and looked over at Blaine, who's face showed a tightness and his eyes a nervous glow. "Blaine." He said, reaching his hand down and where Blaine quickly shook it. "It's good to see you again. Did you come for the party?"

"A-actually sir, I just came to see Kurt. I didn't realize they were getting together until I got here."

Burt chuckled at Blaine's nervousness and not being one to let it go, added "Always the party crasher." Blaine's mouth dropped open and Kurt quickly butted in.

"Dad." He hissed. "Blaine came to see me and he's actually staying here and going back with Rachel and I, so please be nice."

Burt full out laughed then, slapping Blaine on the back. "Close your mouth son, I was just kidding. Man, it's easy to get a rise out of you two. Blaine, you are always welcome son, but I have one condition."

Kurt made a frustrated noise while Blaine looked at Burt nervously. "Anything sir."

"My name is Burt." Both Kurt and Blaine looked at Burt with confused faces. "My name is not sir or Mr Hummel, it's Burt. Remember that and you can stay here anytime." He turned toward the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee, hearing the relieved sighs from the table. He turned back to face the boys, leaning back against the counter and added. "That goes for Carole too." He said, smiling.

"That was just evil, dad. Seriously." Kurt grumbled, glaring at this dad.

"Come on Kurt, I'm just messing with you two. It's so much fun." He was still laughing when Finn arrived a few minutes later. When he saw Kurt and Blaine sitting at the table he nearly tripped over his feet. He immediately looked at the floor avoiding eye contact with everyone and shuffled into the room.

They boys at the table immediately tensed and Burt knew his assumption had been correct. Sure, it made him a little uncomfortable thinking about what the two boys had been up to in the house alone, but it had nothing to do with embarrassment. It had to do with the idea that his son was ready for sex.

Hell, he knew he'd gotten lucky. Kurt had always been about romance and literally clammed up at the mention of sex. Sure, he knew Kurt would have so much more freedom in New York and wouldn't be limited as far as prejudice but he also knew how backward his son had always been and knew he had no reason to worry. He'd told Kurt during their awkward attempt at the sex talk that he mattered and not to throw himself around, not that he ever expected Kurt to do that.

Now, seeing the evidence with his own eyes, he couldn't help but be a little proud. He knew beyond a doubt that Kurt had waited and he also knew that Kurt really loved Blaine and had for a while, so honestly he was happy they were exploring it together.

So, he wanted to break the tension in the room so everybody had a good time tonight. "Finn, you remember Blaine? He came by to visit with Kurt and will be staying here for a few days."

Grateful for the opening his dad was giving him, Kurt added, "If Rachel hasn't already told you, I'm sure she'll explain everything once she arrives, but Blaine surprised me today at Breadsticks and sang to me." His smile was soft and he turned his gaze to Blaine.

Finn watched the two boys look at each other and realized, after what Kurt said, that they were actually together. He breathed a sigh of relief and shook off the misperceptions of what he thought was happening earlier. Well sure, he know exactly what was happening earlier and wanted to cover his ears and scream, but knowing what preceded it helped him to not want to throttle Blaine.

He'd heard all the stories from Rachel about how Blaine treated Kurt in the past and he was embarrassed about what he heard, but he was also pissed, thinking Blaine was using Kurt. Knowing Blaine came here and sang a song to Kurt, he can see exactly how they ended up doing what he assumed they were doing. Once he heard the first moan, he'd thrown what he had of the lunches finished and hightailed it out of there.

"I'm looking forward to hearing all about it from Rachel, then." He said, smiling at his step brother who mouthed a silent thank you. "So dude, what do you like on your pizza?" He asked, sitting down at the table next to Blaine. "We need to order them soon, because I'm making Puck pick them up on his way over."

When Carole got home, she and Burt would retreat to their room, allowing the glee club their space, but for now, Burt just stood back and watched the boys with a smile. He loved seeing his boys happy.


	21. New Year's Eve, Take Two

Rachel had invited people over again for New Year's Eve, so when the three returned to New York it was a flurry of activity, cleaning the apartment, buying and making food, and decorating (at Kurt's insistence), and Blaine was there every step of the way. He returned to his apartment for a total of an hour to do a load of laundry and pack to spend the next two days with his boyfriend.

Just saying that word made him smile. God, he was such an idiot. He'd wasted so much time worrying about what everybody else thought to think about his own happiness. And man, was he happy now.

Every minute he spent with Kurt was heaven. It didn't matter if they were having coffee or watching a movie (they both loved to cuddle) or if they were lost in each other's kisses and touches, he loved every second of it. Hell, he just loved Kurt. And he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with him.

Ok, so it had only been a couple of days since they became official and not too long since Kurt almost walked out of his life for good, but Blaine knew Kurt was it. Most of the reason he'd been hesitant about his and Kurt's relationship was his family and friends and the pressure he got from them, but a small part of it was fear. Kurt made him feel things that he'd never felt before. Made him want things. And that scared him.

But the moment he realized Kurt was walking away was the moment he felt real fear and it almost destroyed him. And everyday since then, he's been thankful that he followed Kurt into that alley and broke down in front of him. Not one of his better moments, for sure, but definitely a turning point for him and for Kurt.

And he's so grateful that Kurt gave him another chance, and he's still thinking of new ways to make it up to Kurt, even though Kurt's told him it's not necessary anymore.

When he gave Kurt the key to his apartment after Christmas, he'd told Kurt that he wasn't asking him to move in with him yet, but in actuality, he did want Kurt to move in with him. He wanted Kurt to be with him always, but he was just too afraid to tell him. They'd just worked everything out, he didn't want to scare Kurt away, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to sleep now that he'd held Kurt every night for the last few days.

He grabbed his favorite jeans out of the dryer and folded them, putting them in his overnight bag before zipping it up and heading back to Kurt's.

Kurt had been so distracted helping Rachel get things ready for their guests that he didn't have time to worry about Blaine, but when Rachel left to quickly run to the store for ice and he had a moment to breathe, he had a tiny freak out.

He's not proud of it, but in those few minutes he was taken back to the previous New Year's Eve. It had been one of the best nights of his life, but the next morning had been hell.

He started his mini breakdown in the living room where he was remembering how he and Blaine had laid on the couch spooning and brought in New Years over and over again. Blaine had been so sweet and loving and Kurt really thought they had turned a corner, but when he awoke in the morning, the harsh reality caught up with him.

Kurt walked out of the living room and into the bathroom splashing water on his face to try and calm himself down. Blaine hadn't been gone that long and Kurt trusted him now...right?

Yes, yes, of course he did. But what if...no. Kurt looked up at himself in the mirror and glared at his reflection. After everything they had gone through the past few days he had no reason to doubt Blaine. They loved each other and had talked in detail about everything. Blaine would come back this time, and if he didn't, Kurt had a key to his apartment and would go kick his ass if he didn't.

Kurt laughed then and shook his head. He was being silly. Blaine had just gone home to pack a bag so he could stay here until classes started again. What was he worrying about? While Kurt was mentally arguing with himself, he failed to notice the door open and didn't hear the footsteps come down the hall.

"Kurt?" The moment he heard that beautiful voice his entire body relaxed and he instinctively turned toward the door, seeking out the man behind the voice.

When Blaine returned, he called out for Kurt but didn't get a reply, so he headed down the hallway toward Kurt's room to leave his bag. He didn't hear anything so he tried calling out again, and it was then that he glanced into the bathroom smiling and saw the object of his desire.

His smile faltered for a moment, seeing the look on Kurt's face. He had been worried. Fuck. Blaine's heart dropped to the floor when he realized what Kurt had been thinking. Wow, and he thought they'd gotten past all that.

"Blaine." Kurt said a little too enthusiastically when he saw the shorter boy.

Blaine frowned as he walked forward toward Kurt, holding out a dozen roses that he'd picked up at the street vendor on the corner.

"Sorry I took so long, but I had to do a quick load of laundry and wanted to get these for you." He said sadly, handing the flowers to Kurt. "You thought..." His voice cracked.

"No, I..." He started to deny it, but the look on Blaine's face stopped him. "Ok maybe, but just for a second, I swear." He placed the flowers on the counter and took a tentative step toward Blaine, bringing his hand up to caress his cheek. He took a deep breath and explained. "I was just thinking back to last year and how it was such an amazing night, then I remembered the next day and I..." He paused, making Blaine's gaze meet his. "It was a painful time, but we are different now and I know that. I love you and trust you, I promise. And tonight is about putting this last year behind us and making a new start."

He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Blaine's trembling lips, causing his breath to catch. "I'm sorry." He whispered into Kurt's lips.

Kurt pulled back and looked into his boyfriends eyes. "I know and I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"For worrying. I know how you feel about me and I know that you are not the same person you were last year."

"God Kurt, I love you so much and I promise that I'll never leave you again." Blaine said with obvious conviction.

Kurt smiled and smashed their lips together in a passionate kiss, sliding his hands around Blaine's neck, not allowing him to pull back. Blaine took the hint and gripped Kurt's hips, pulling them forward and bringing their bodies together.

"Where's Rachel?" Blaine asked breathlessly when he pulled back from their kiss.

"Out. Why are we talking about Rachel?" Kurt asked while kissing up and down Blaine's neck.

"Just wanted to know how much time I have." Blaine answered, pulling Kurt's shirt up and over his head.

"For what?"

"To make you come." Blaine growled, dropping to his knees, hand's working on opening Kurt's jeans.

"Oh God." Came out as a deep moan and Kurt threw his head back. Blaine made quick work of divesting Kurt of his jeans and sat back on his heels to admire the view for a moment before leaning forward and tentatively touching his tongue to Kurt's dick. The sudden intake of breath from above him told him that Kurt was not opposed to what was happening, which spurred Blaine glanced up at Kurt before lowering his mouth and taking Kurt's entire length in.

"Fuck." Kurt growled as he grabbed at the back of Blaine's head, which thankfully was gel free. When Blaine sucked harder, Kurt knew he'd found a weakness and pulled once again, causing Blaine to moan around his cock, sending wonderful vibrations up through him and his entire body.

All thought ceased at that moment and all Kurt could do was feel. He'd read about blowjobs and of course had heard the guys in school say how great it was, especially Puck, who probably received one a day back then. And the girls had complained about how gross and disgusting it was, but all Kurt could do was watch Blaine and realize they were wrong.

Blaine was sucking him like it was his job, and if the moaning was any indication, he was loving it almost as much as Kurt. And after Kurt got over the fact that Blaine was actually on his knees giving him the best blowjob ever, all he could think about was how much he wanted to taste Blaine.

That thought, combined with Blaine's tongue running up along the bottom of his shaft and him moaning once again, brought Kurt to the breaking point. Grabbing Blaine's hair, he tried to pull him back, muttering "I-I'm close, I'm..." But Blaine didn't budge, just continued his minstrations. Kurt's orgasm shot threw his body and he cried out as his body jerked over and over, filling Blaine's mouth, which seemed to suit Blaine just fine.

After this body finished spasming and his cock because almost too sensitive, Blaine pulled back, sitting back on his heels once again. In a move that almost had Kurt hard again, Blaine wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and grinned, licking his lips like he'd just consumed the worlds best ice cream.

Blaine opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the front door opening and Rachel's voice announcing that she was back floated down the hall. It was then the two boys realized they were in the bathroom with the door wide open, with Blaine on his knees in front of a naked Kurt.

Kurt's eye's widened and darted toward the door, knowing he couldn't make it over there on his still wobbly legs. Blaine shuffled over on his knees and closed the door, clicking the lock in place while plucking Kurt's shirt off the floor before handing it to him.

"I'll let you clean up in here and I'll take the bedroom." Blaine said to a still stunned Kurt, as he headed toward the door.

Kurt nodded, then called to Blaine, "Wait, why do you need to clean up?"

Blaine blushed and looked down. "I couldn't help myself. You taste so good, and the sounds you make..."

Kurt looked down at the wet spot in Blaine's pants and his heart sped up. He did that. He'd made Blaine come in his pants with no stimulation, just by being on the giving end of the world's best blowjob. How did he get so lucky? He looked at Blaine and smiled a shy smile.

"I owe you one later." He said seductively causing Blaine to blush again.

"If you don't stop talking like that, I'm going to take you right here, right now." Blaine growled, his cock starting to show interest again.

"I'm not opposed to that." Kurt said in a voice lower than his natural range. Blaine let go of the door handle he had been holding and took two large steps toward Kurt, crashing their lips together once again. Kurt's hands moved up and began unbuttoning Blaine's shirt when there was a loud bang on the door.

"Oh my God, can you two keep your hands off each other for more than five minutes. I don't care what you are doing in there, but you need to stop and get your asses out here. We are hosting a party and when everyone gets here, they are going to want to eat the food we spent all afternoon working on, so I need help setting everything up." The two boys looked at each other with wide eyes and stayed silent, hoping she would go away. No such luck. "Got it?" She yelled.

"Yeah." Was Kurt's quiet reply, while Blaine simultaneously replied with a "We'll be right out Rachel." With the mood obviously killed, they stepped back and smiled at each other sheepishly.

"I'll just..." Blaine motioned toward the door and turned around to leave, tingles running though his body when he heard Kurt's parting words.

"I'll pay you back after the party."


	22. A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I'm really excited and a little sad to say this is the end. This has been the longest fic I've ever written and I'm pretty proud of how it turned out. It has been a very emotional journey for me, as well as the characters, and I hope I was able to convey the feelings and the love of their relationship. I know at times it might have seemed like things weren't moving too fast, but I wanted it to seem real and after all their ups and downs, I didn't want to rush things. Thank you all for sticking with me and I hope it was an enjoyable ride.

The party was fun, consisting mostly of Rachel's friends and a few acquaintances of Kurt's from his internship and classes. Luckily no one from Blaine's circle was a part of the crowd, allowing the boys to breath easier and enjoy themselves without having to defend their relationship.

Kurt and Blaine had a couple drinks, but switched to cokes by eleven, neither wanting to be influenced by alcohol. Although they had already worked through their problems and declared their love for each other, tonight was going to be a new beginning for both of them. It's where their relationship changed the previous year, and they both wanted this year to start fresh with each other.

Blaine didn't leave Kurt's side for very long the entire night, standing close and always touching, whether it was a light hand on the small of his back or his arm draped around Kurt's neck. Kurt noticed this and was touched. It showed him that Blaine understood how much last year had affected him and was making sure to let him know that this year was different, he was different.

When the music had been turned down and the tv tuned into Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin Eve, the two found a spot away from the crowd, but close enough to watch the ball drop. As they counted down the seconds to the New Year, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt and whispered into his ear. "Thank you for giving me another chance. I love you so much and I promise I won't ever let you down again."

Kurt pulled Blaine back so they were face to face and whispered back, "I love you too." The countdown hit zero and they leaned in at the same time, bringing their lips together in a passionate kiss.

They continued to kiss, oblivious to everyone around them until someone bumped into Kurt on the way to the restroom. They pulled back at the same time and laughed.

The two boys spent the next hour socializing and dancing but never leaving each other's side. At one point Rachel came over and tried to cut in to dance with Kurt, but before Blaine could step back like the gentleman he was, Kurt hooked his fingers in Blaine's belt loops, refusing to let go.

"Sorry Rach, no can do. I'm all his tonight." He said, his eyes not straying from Blaine's face.

"You guys are sickening." She said, but Kurt could hear the affection in her tone. "Why don't you two just moving your little private celebration into the bedroom? The party is winding down now and I'm sure I can get someone to help me put the rest of the food away."

"That's not necessary Rachel. We'll be happy to..." Blaine started but Kurt interrupted.

"Thank's Rachel. I owe you one." He said, already pulling Blaine toward the bedroom.

Blaine looked back at her and shrugged, and she smirked and yelled a cheeky, "Have fun boys," to their retreating backs.

Once inside the safety of Kurt's bedroom, Kurt pushed Blaine up against the wall and attacked his mouth like a starving man. He wound his fingers in Blaine's hair, pulling the strands as he tilted his head up to give Kurt better access. Blaine moaned causing Kurt to pull harder.

Their hips moved together in sync and the kisses became dirty quickly. Kurt hadn't meant to practically molest his boyfriend up again the wall, but he had not control over himself. They'd spent all night touching, kissing, dancing, teasing, and all Kurt could think about was how much he needed to come, to make Blaine come.

Kurt took one hand out of Blaine's hair and moved it down to Blaine's ass, lifting his thigh in the process which brought their erections together. Blaine let out a feral moan as their movements became quicker and sloppier.

"Kurt, oh Kurt, yes, God." Blaine was reduced to single words, not able to think, his body on fire with need.

"Blaine, I need..." Kurt's words were cut off when Blaine used both of his hands to cup Kurt's ass, causing him to gasp at the contact, and allowing Blaine to push their groins together that much harder, which was all they needed to let go.

They moaned each other's name simultaneously when they came. Blaine nuzzled his nose into Kurt's neck, breathing deeply.

"Oh God, are you smelling me again?" Kurt groaned but Blaine felt Kurt's face lift up in a smile.

"I can't help it. You just smell soooooo good." Blaine mumbled into Kurt's neck, his tongue darting out to taste as well.

Kurt hummed, amazed that his body could still react to Blaine's actions after such an incredible orgasm moments before. Blaine was right, their bodies were definitely making up for lost time. God, he could think of nothing else all night but touching and tasting Blaine. Hell, it took all he had in him not to drag him off within minutes of the party starting.

He knew Blaine had been worried about tonight and it warmed his heart to see all his and Rachel's friends put him at ease right away. Seeing Blaine smile and interact with people that didn't have an agenda was heartwarming. Some people remembered him from the previous New Year's party and others had seen him around school.

There had been one tense moment when a guy asked about Blaine's band, but Blaine just smiled and said he'd quit because it was taking too much of his time and he wanted to focus on school and his boyfriend. The guys nodded his head in understanding while Kurt melted into a pile of goo.

Blaine could have bad mouthed his former bandmates but took the high road once again, proving to Kurt that Blaine really was the person he had always known he was. And yes, he knew there would be backlash when Blaine saw his 'friends' again, but Kurt was no longer worried. He knew Blaine loved him and chose him and that made him happier than he could have ever imagined.

Kurt reluctantly pulled back, regrettably detaching Blaine's mouth from neck, but needing to get out of his sticky pants. He moved toward his bedside table while Blaine whined behind him.

"Where are you going? Come back." He turned around the sight nearly stopped him cold. There was Blaine, his gorgeous debauched boyfriend, leaning up against his bedroom door, hair messy from Kurt's fingers, lips red and swollen from Kurt's kiss, and sporting a wet spot compliments of Kurt's dick, and he'd never looked more amazing. Edible even. Kurt was sure he'd stopped breathing for a moment, but the cold, drying mess in his pants reminded him of his mission.

He reached behind him without turning around, because come on, how could he take his eyes off the beautiful sight in front of him. He kept moisturizing wipes in his bedside drawer incase he was out late and too tired to go through his regular routine.

He hated to go to bed without at least moisturizing first and now he was grateful for his anal tendencies. He was not about to chance going into the bathroom with the amount of people still partying, but he and Blaine needed to clean up, so wipes it was.

After grabbing the wipes, he walked back toward Blaine who hadn't moved, nor taken his eyes off Kurt. He just tracked him with hungry eyes causing a heat to flood through Kurt's body. Seriously, how could he be ready again so soon? It's not like he was a teenager anymore, but Blaine just did something to him. Kurt wanted him all the time now. He had free reign to touch him and kiss him whenever he wanted and the two had explored each other every free moment they had together, which unfortunately was not much.

He knew he should be bothered about the fact that he abandoned his party and was locked in his room not ten feet away, but one look at Blaine, eyes dark with lust, and all logic went out the window.

Once he was close enough, Blaine reached his arm out and grabbed Kurt's wrist, pulling him flush again his body, craving his touch even after a couple of minutes. Kurt sucked in a breath in surprise before capturing Blaine's lips once again. Blaine's mouth was already open, waiting as Kurt's tongue slid out, tasting.

The kiss was primal, messy and fucking amazing. Both boys moaned and Kurt felt a twinge of pain as he hardened again in his still sticky pants but ignored it in favor of licking and sucking his way down Blaine's gorgeous neck.

Blaine leaned his head back against the door allowing Kurt full access his neck while slipping his hands up the back of Kurt's shirt and pulling it up, trying to touch every stretch of skin he could. Kurt felt this, unlatched his lips from Blaine's collarbone and took a step back. Blaine's whine was halted when he realized why Kurt retreated, pulling off his shirt and tossing it over his head before reaching forward and divesting Blaine of his own a second later.

His lips were back, starting at the dark red mark Kurt had left just above Blaine's collarbone, then slowing heading south. They'd had time to kiss and touch before, but had yet to explore with their mouths, with the exception of Blaine's impromptu blowjob in the bathroom. Now it was Kurt's turn, and he was a man on a mission. Leave no spot unexplored.

When he reached Blaine's nipple he poked his tongue out and gave it a flick, causing Blaine to jerk and suck in a sharp breath. Kurt circled the tiny bud with his tongue until he felt Blaine's legs quiver, then he took it in his mouth and sucked hard. Blaine shouted and his hips moved forward looking for some sort of friction.

Kurt chuckled, leaving one side and moving slowly to the other, and Blaine felt like he was dying. Like the blood in his body was suddenly on fire and it was coursing through his veins looking for a way out. It was wonderful torture as Kurt followed the same treatment on the other nipple, causing Blaine's knees to almost give out.

"Bed." Blaine said, voice shaky.

Kurt looked up at Blaine with a sexy stare and smiled before pulling back slightly, giving himself just enough room to undo Blaine's pants and push them to the floor along with his soiled underwear.

"Kurt..." Blaine moaned a warning, but Kurt was too focused to care. Picking up the wipes he'd dropped a few minutes ago, because come on, he was a little preoccupied. Kurt took a wipe and began gently running it over Blaine's stomach, sliding his hand just under where Blaine's erection was hovering, trailing the wipe around and around Blaine's cock, but never touching.

Blaine was literally vibrating with need when Kurt finally, finally ran the wipe up and over his hard on, causing Blaine's knees to finally give out and he slid to the floor moaning.

He was panting and sweating and fuck, if Kurt touched him again, he was sure he'd come right then and there, so he just stared at Kurt, letting his body calm down again. Kurt had other ideas, it seemed, and he dropped to his knees beside Blaine and slid his hands slowly up Blaine's thigh, his eyes focused on the hard, leaking cock in front of him.

Kurt barely got as far as to place a small kiss to the head of Blaine's cock before Blaine was fisting Kurt's hair and pulling him away from his dick (what the hell was he thinking) and smashed their mouths together. Kurt whined a little at being taken away from his yet to be explored treasure but gave into Blaine's kisses, thrusting his tongue into Blaine's mouth to taste him in some way.

Blaine detached their lips and began to suck and bite along Kurt's jaw and neck, causing the other boy to moan in pleasure. He loved reducing Kurt to this, putty in his hands.

"Kurt?" his voice was husky and Kurt hummed a response. "I know you promised me to return the favor," he continued kissing up and down Kurt's neck, while his hands drifted down his back and slid under his boxers to cup his bare ass. "And I'm not opposed to that, but..." he paused his assault on Kurt's neck and leaned back to look Kurt in the eyes. "I really want to be inside you first." As he said that, his fingers slid down and ghosted over Kurt's hole.

Kurt gasped at not only Blaine's words, but also his sudden touch. His eye's widened and he attached his lips to Blaine's, before pulling back and breathing, "Yes, yes, God Blaine, yes." And he was back kissing Blaine with a vengeance.

When they finally pulled back to breathe, the boys untangled themselves and moved to the bed, but not before Blaine divested Kurt of his underwear, needing him naked like yesterday. He guided Kurt to the bed backward and gently pushed him back, then watched in awe as Kurt slithered back toward the headboard, his eyes never leaving Blaine's.

Blaine watched hungrily as Kurt reached over, still not breaking eye contact, and retrieved lube and a condom from the drawer beside his bed. Kurt had used the lube before, just on himself, but had never needed condoms. He only had a couple because Puck stuck a few in his bag before he left home, saying 'looks like you two might need these soon,' and grinned. Thank God Puck had never changed.

By the time he laid the items on the bed beside him, Blaine was crawling up the bed, a sight to behold, eye's black and wide with arousal and cock standing tall, waiting. Blaine stopped, holding himself above Kurt, who had propped himself up with pillows, before leaning down to place a soft kiss on Kurt's lips.

"You sure?" He asked gently when he pulled back, looking Kurt straight in the eye, waiting for confirmation.

"I'm sure. I love you." Was Kurt's reply, causing a wide grin to spread across Blaine's face.

"I love you too."

Blaine spent what felt like an eternity prepping Kurt, not wanting to hurt him. By the time he had three fingers in, Kurt was a moaning, withering mess, begging Blaine with whimpering words of "please, now, I'm ready."

The condom was applied with shaky hands and when Kurt noticed this, he pulled Blaine down into a passionate kiss. When Blaine pulled back, he was calmer and he smiled as he looked down at his beautiful boyfriend.

"You are so incredibly beautiful and I am the luckiest person in the world that you are mine." Blaine said breathlessly.

"I'm not yours yet," Kurt replied cheekily, grinning up at him. Blaine took this as an invitation and slowly slid into Kurt, inching so as not to cause too much pain. He'd read that no matter how much you prep, it was still going to burn, so he wanted to be extra careful. God, he couldn't wait until they did it the other way and he got to feel Kurt inside him. But right now, he had to focus on not thrusting, which is the only thing he could think about right now.

Oh, it was so tight and warm and, "Oh God, Kurt!" Blaine moaned, still moving slowly and keeping an eye on Kurt's scrunched up face. Once he bottomed out, he stilled and waited for the go ahead from Kurt. "You ok baby?" Blaine asked gently. "Do you want me to pull out?"

"No! God, no. Just...just give me a minute. It's, well, I feel really full, but good." Kurt said, his voice shaking a little. Blaine shifted slightly and Kurt gasped. "Oh!"

"Sorry, sorry, I..." Blaine tried to apologize and started to pull back, but Kurt wasn't having any of it, wrapping his legs around Blaine and locking his heels together to keep him from going anywhere.

"T-that was a good 'oh,' I promise." Kurt said. "And now I'm ready for you to move." He said, lifting his hips up slightly, encouraging Blaine in the process. He unlocked his heels from behind Blaine's back and lifted his legs to hook them over Blaine's shoulders, opening himself up even more and changing the angle, so that when Blaine slid out and pushed back in, he came in direct contact with Kurt's prostate and he yelped and moaned at the wonderful sensation flooding his body. "Right there, oh God, yes, right there. Faster baby, faster. I'm not going to last."

Kurt was babbling as Blaine continued his assault on Kurt's prostate as he picked up the pace.

Sweat was dripping down Blaine's neck and if Kurt could have moved, he would have licked it off, but as it turned out, he was otherwise engaged in a more interesting activity and just couldn't take the chance on moving and Blaine's angle changing.

Blaine was in heaven. He'd dreamt of this for years, and regardless of what people thought of him, he'd always wanted to wait to have sex with someone important to him. Someone who meant something. And Kurt, well, Kurt meant everything.

He bent down and placed a loving kiss on Kurt's full lips without stopping his movements, and at the same time, his free hand reached under him to take Kurt in his hand, sliding up and down his cock once, twice. He pulled back then, looking Kurt in the eye and whispered, "Let go." And they both did.

After taking care of some clean up essentials, the two boys lay tangled in the sheets, still breathing heavily, hands gently sliding up and down each others bodies, Blaine with his head resting on Kurt's chest.

"Kurt?" Blaine said quietly, not wanting to disturb the basking.

"Hmm?"

"You know when I gave you the key to my apartment last week?" Blaine asked, and he felt Kurt stiffen underneath him. He continued quickly, not wanting Kurt to get the wrong idea. "And I said I wasn't asking you to move in just yet?"

"Yeah." Kurt said, a hint of caution in his voice.

"I know it seems like it's too soon, and it probably is, but the thing is, is that we've gotten so close these last two weeks and now that I've been staying with you and sleeping with you, I don't think I want to give that up, so..." Blaine rambled, feeling like he wasn't making much sense.

"So what are you saying, Blaine?" Kurt asked hesitantly.

"I'm saying that I want to live with you." Blaine said quickly.

"Um..."

"Look, I know it's too soon, and we can't do it right now. You live here with Rachel and I have a roommate, but he will be moving out at the end of the school year, and I know you aren't sure what Rachel is doing, so I was thinking that you could move in with me when summer starts. Of course even though we won't be living together until then, that is if you want to move in with me, I was still hoping we'd have sleepovers at each others places almost every night." Blaine paused when he felt Kurt's chest begin to shake, indicate that he was being laughed at. "Oh God, I'm rambling again, aren't I?"

"Yes," Kurt chuckled. "But it's adorable."

"It's just, well, I don't think I can sleep without you. God, that sounds so pathetic." He groaned, burying his face in Kurt's neck and breathing him in. Smelling Kurt always calmed him down.

Kurt felt his chest tighten. He was so glad that he had given this beautiful boy another chance. Sure, he'd been stupid and had hurt Kurt over and over, but underneath all that, he knew Blaine was a good person. He had never been more glad that he waited and was patient enough to open himself up again to Blaine. He loved Blaine more than he ever thought possible, and knowing that Blaine needed him and loved him as much as Kurt made him warm all over.

"Y-you really see us still together in 6 months?" Kurt said, awe in his voice.

Blaine lifted up to prop himself on one arm and looked straight at Kurt, cupping his face with his other hand. "Oh Kurt, I see us together in 6 years." Blaine breathed. "I love you so much and now that I have you, I swear I can't imagine my life without you."

"Oh Blaine, I love you too, and since the first day I met you, I couldn't imagine my life without you either." He lifted up to capture Blaine's lips in a soft kiss. Blaine leaned down, and licked into Kurt's mouth, turning the kiss more passionate before pulling back and gazing down at Kurt again.

"So, about our sleeping arrangements..." Blaine began, and Kurt laughed, pulling Blaine back down against his chest.

"If you think I'm giving up my cuddle pillow now, you don't know me at all." Kurt said jokingly. "But seriously, we can definitely work something out for now, and yes, I do want to move in with you when the school year is over."

With that confirmation, Kurt felt Blaine melt into his embrace and tighten his arms around him.

"I'm so glad you didn't give up on me." Blaine mumbled, his body giving into the exhaustion of the day. "Happy New Year, Kurt."

"Happy New Year, Blaine."


End file.
